


Guardian Reaper

by forgeurheart



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accidental Cuddling, Afterlife, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Castiel & Meg Masters Friendship, Chef Dean, Chick-Flick Moments, Comfortably Bisexual Dean Winchester, Cuddling & Snuggling, Demon Dean Winchester (temporary), Destiel - Freeform, Domestic Fluff, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gabriel Being Gabriel, Ghost Anna, Lucifer is a Little Shit, M/M, Mates, Minor Character Death, Not Beta Read, Nymphs - Freeform, POV Dean, Protective Castiel, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Reaper Castiel, Reapers-Freeform, Skeptical Sam, Slow Burn, Torture, Wing Kink, Wings, realms, satanic rituals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-02-23 05:45:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 70,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13183587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgeurheart/pseuds/forgeurheart
Summary: Dean Winchester, an aspiring chef haunted by the death of his loved ones, meets an angel after a tragic accident. At least, he seems to think the being is an angel. Except, the man with ocean-blue eyes isn't an angel. He is so much more. The ex-hunter is quickly pulled back into the dangerous world of demons and ghosts. Dean just can't help himself and he quickly becomes involved in the man's life. When the balance between realms is threatened, he learns why you shouldn't enter the world of the bringers' of death.





	1. A Day in the Life

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is my first ever Destiel fic! It is primarily surrounding Dean and Cas, though Sam/Jess and Charlie/Dorothy make frequent appearances. OC's will show up throughout the story to play minor roles as well. I apologize for the short summary, but it is a work in progress that will have updated tags and summary as the story progresses! It is not beta-read, but I've edited it multiple times. I plan to update this story weekly, but that may change when the semester starts. I have the first few chapters completed and will post them tonight. Enjoy! (:
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of the characters in this story, except my OC's.

  
**November 20th**  
**Dean**

* * *

 

My fingers moved slowly, the knife slicing through the freshly grilled chicken with ease. Skidder waited patiently, perching on the top of my right foot with his coal gray tail snaked around my ankle. The sly bastard. He just knew that late night cooking typically led to something spilled. I chopped a piece into small cubes, tossed them onto a plate, and placed it on the ground. Purrs erupted from below me, the cat’s body vibrating against my shin. Charlie really owed me for watching the fur-ball. With the cat happy and distracted, I turned the flame up on the stove to heat the alfredo sauce. The ravenous growl of my stomach kept me going, but just hardly. I lowered my body onto a bar stool and dragged my palms down my face. It was presentation week at the internship and if I failed to awe my superiors, I’d have no chance at receiving business offers. I just had to get through three more hour-long presentations on spices and fine dining. The groan escaped my lips, my forehead now against the cold, marble counter. This was supposed to be an easy task, but fine dining was not necessarily my forte. On top of that, my insomniatic tendencies left me unfocused and utterly exhausted for the past year. Its why I had to take a year off after culinary school after Bobby passed. Once the night terrors started, sleep just didn’t come as easy as it used to. My mind wandered to Sammy. That moose had just asked his fiance, Jess, to move in with him. He was suppose to be flying in tomorrow for his Thanksgiving break. I made a mental note to call him the next day when I lost consciousness.  
~  
A feather-light caress on my cheek jostled me awake. My eyes scanned the living room as I gripped the counter. The odor of burning cream assaulted my nostrils. The sauce had burned, boiling over to coat the burners in a lovely cream color. Adrenaline pumped through my veins, causing my body to startle into action. I shut the stove off, tossing the pot in the sink and scrubbing it clean. My cheek still buzzed from the touch and I glanced around the house. My abode was modest at best, lacking a dining room and much space for having people over. Yet, people always managed to cram themselves into my living room, insisting that I need the company. My eyes fell on the small kitchen, an island residing in the center with a few bar stools. The kitchen connected to the entrance way and navy blue living room. A couch, love seat, television, coffee table, and three bookshelves inhabited the room. There was a sliding glass door between the two rooms and a small alcove on the right led to two doors. The bathroom was closed on the left of the alcove and the right door led to my bedroom. The entire house, visible to me, was barren of any other living being.

Skidder was nowhere to be seen, most likely waiting for me with his ass on my pillow. I stood, puzzled for a moment regarding the touch that startled me awake. Sighing, I wiped down the stove and tossed the chicken in the fridge. Settling for a granola bar, I decided to give up and hope sleep took me again after I was bundled in blankets. I nudged Skidder off the pillows. He grumbled, swatting at my hands before settling at the end of the bed. I flipped off the lights and curled up under my blanket pile. I cleared my mind, hoping sleep came easy. Life couldn’t be that simple though. The constant and annoying ring of my cell phone had other plans for me and I blindly yanked it off the nightstand from my cocoon.

“Wuh?” My voice was muffled by pillows, but I didn’t care in the moment. Whoever was calling at two in the morning shouldn’t expect a fully functioning human.

“Dean! Good, you’re still awake. Look, we have to go over our presentations in the morning before work. Could you get there at 6:30? I think it’s important to polish our talks and pacing. Plus, it’ll show initiative.” Bela. I should have guessed. She was the other presenter this week and she thoroughly enjoyed dragging me down with her when she was stressed. “I’ll bring coffee from Brewster.” And she sticks the landing. Her bribery was always convincing.

“Alright, alright. I’ll be there.” I muttered, praying the caffeine will keep me functioning before I can sneak away to attempt napping in baby.

“Large hazelnut coffee with two espresso shots, right?” She chirped through the phone, her forced, sugar-coated voice irking me.

“Yep. Now I need my four hours. See you tomorrow.” Before I could hang up and escape to the bliss that is my pillow, she shouted.

“Wait! Wait. I figured we could go over a few more potential questions. You don’t sleep anyway right?” She spoke nonchalantly. I rolled my eyes, burying my head in the pillow. Nope, I don’t sleep much, but I’d sure as hell would like to try. She was quick though, adding more before I could snap a goodbye at her. “I could always just convince my darling husband to change Sammy’s final grade in that law class.” I flinched, biting my tongue to stop the venomous retort from escaping my lips. She married Sammy’s law professor last year and he was as corrupted as she was. Failing the class would set him back an extra year at Stanford and the kid couldn’t afford it.

“Don’t call him Sammy.” I grunted.

That is how I ended up spending the next two hours going over questions with Bela. That is also how I finally shut my aching eyes at 4:30 and how I slept through the four alarms I set the day prior. I ended up rushing around in the morning, spilling butter down my shirt from my English muffin and crinkling my poster as I tossed it into the back of the Impala. Even the purr of the engine couldn’t soothe me and I indulged in a spat of road rage. After getting stuck behind two snail-paced trucks, a fallen tree, a group of bicyclists, and baby ducks crossing the street, I determined it was bad karma. This was the universe getting back at me for hustling at the bars over the years to send Sammy rent money. Probably for all those credit cards too. Thank-you Charlie for clearing that trail. I shook my head, and huffed a string of curses under my breath. Instead of accepting the fact that I’d be late to work, Bela would have to practice alone, and my glorious coffee would be ice cold; I decided to slam on the gas and fly through an intersection as the light flickered to yellow. Everything went black after that.


	2. Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He growled through his clenched jaw as the lights flickered, the machines dimming. My jaw hung open, his words buzzing in my head. Power. That is what flowed from his body. His oceanic orbs widened as he glanced around the room before meeting my confused gaze.

**November 21st**

**Dean**

* * *

 

A groan escaped my cracked lips as I tried to roll onto my side. A steady beep rang in my ears, the monitor insisting I was alive. Tubes restricted any movement, thus I resorted to tolerating the cramp in my calf.

“Son of a bitch.” I groaned, my eyes slowly cracking open. The first thing that greeted me was a look of twisted hurt and fury in a pair of sparkling blue orbs. They had to be the bluest eyes I had ever seen and even with the storm brewing within them, they were gorgeous. I jolted into full coherence, my body tensing as pain crawled up my limbs. The owner of those eyes towered over me, glowering down at my broken body. He was lean with a mess of dark, raven hair on his head. He wore a tan trench coat over a button down shirt and blue tie, paired with black slacks. The guy was barefoot. He was beautiful.

“Wh-” My voice cracked, my throat screaming out in protest. I swallowed harshly. “Who are you?” My voice was a hoarse whisper and the man’s eyes softened ever so slightly. Concern had wiggled its way into the mix of emotions swirling in his irises.

“That is of no importance.” He whispered, his voice rough and deeper than I expected. “Why are you so reckless? What is the benefit of driving like a mad man to get to work on time? From where I am standing, the cost outweighs the benefit.” He glowered, his words forming harsh whispers.

“I-what?” It was the most solidified response I could manage in that current state.

“I did everything I could. I threw slow trucks in front of your path. I made every traffic light flicker to red, hoping it would slow your travel. I formed fake news stories in hopes to hinder your commute. Yet, everything I did was utterly pointless. You ignored every sign and chose to believe it was bad karma. You convinced yourself that the universe had it out for you. Karma isn’t real Dean! I am real. Next time it seems like life is throwing every obstacle in front of you, consider it a warning sign. Consider it an attempt to save your existence.” He growled through his clenched jaw as the lights flickered, the machines dimming. My jaw hung open, his words buzzing in my head. Power. That is what flowed from his body. His oceanic orbs widened as he glanced around the room before meeting my confused gaze.

“Why bother saving me if I’m so reckless?” I questioned. This could be a dream and I could be in a coma. I could be hallucinating. For some odd reason though, I decided to ignore the other options and believe that maybe this angel is actually standing in front of me. Why save me?

“I am not an angel.” His tone was softer and in a blink, he was gone, leaving my hospital room dim and lonely. I was left speechless, wondering what the man’s name was.

* * *

“HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID?” Sammy’s voice evoked a shiver down my spine. The cringe was instant and I knew before even opening my eyes that one of his famous bitch faces awaits me. His question was fair majority of the time, but not now. He had sped to the hospital as soon as his plane landed. It was a great kick-off to his Thanksgiving break. I had just finished explaining to him that I was running late and had an important presentation to get to. I made it through a yellow light and a car shot into the intersection and crushed in the driver’s side door. Which in turn, crushed my body. Obviously, he is bitching at the wrong person. I hadn’t done anything illegal and there were multiple witnesses in the intersection that saw that jackass ram baby.

“I wasn’t.” I spoke nonchalantly, wishing I could shrug my shoulders. My collarbone on the left side was shattered though.

“You sped into an intersection, too preoccupied by the idea of having to stop at a light to look at your surroundings! That sounds fairly stupid to me Dean.” He quipped as he paced around my bed. I rolled my eyes, sighing.

“The guy who hit me is in room 8B. You should go lecture him on running red lights.” I muttered, wishing I could turn away. Deciding it was an equally satisfying option, I shut my eyes. Not only did Sammy’s bitch face disappear from sight, but the obnoxiously bright lights could no longer sting my pupils. Vibrant blue irises found their way behind my closed lids and I found myself thinking about the angry fella. “Sammy.” I spoke softly, peeking at the cream colored walls before settling my stare on him. He frowned, his eyes softening, I made sure I had his full attention before continuing. “Do you believe in angels?” The questions was out before I could stop myself. My brother considered my words for a bit, eyes scanning the various machines monitoring my body and restricting my movement.

“No, but if I did, I would thank the one that was watching over you this morning.” He spoke in a hushed, thoughtful tone. I had apparently flat-lined in the ambulance before I miraculously revived. The doctors didn’t know how I wasn’t a comatose patient, let alone alive. Something had alleviated the swelling in my brain and had jump-started my system again. They were calling me a medical mystery. To an extent, I understood his frustrations. I knew that was how Sam expressed fear and worry. I just didn’t have to like it all that much.

“Yeah, I would too.” I nodded. “Thanks for caring about me Sammy.” With that, I shut my eyes again and allowed myself to drift off. I dreamed about fixing baby in Bobby’s old garage, edible grilled cheese (and not the plastic square they tried to pass off as grilled cheese in the hospital), and the angel on my shoulder.


	3. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I wanted whiskey.” He huffed in response, spinning the straw around in the glass. It was full, seemingly untouched and I smirked.  
> “Well, don’t stop on my account.” I waved the bartender over. After ordering a rum and coke, I slid onto the conveniently open stool next to the angel.  
> “I am not an angel.” He quipped, glancing away from my general direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This chapter is a lot longer than the first two. It's the last one I am posting tonight and I will continue updating next week. Bonus, you get to see more of Cas and Dean in this chapter. I hope you enjoy it!

   **December 31st**

**Dean**

* * *

 

Home. Though I usually preferred my modest home, it was a nightmare for my healing body. It was also a nightmare for my mental state. Charlie had insisted on staying with me for the past month, cleaning and caring for me. Sam and Jess had joined her when their semester ended. It quickly became overwhelming and I dreaded each day. They refused to let me do anything for myself and I was stationed on the couch to watch reruns of Dr. Sexy on television. Don't get me wrong, I love the show, but I think I lost a few brain cells. Christmas came and went with the typical french toast breakfast, exchanging gifts in the morning, and the watching of Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph in the evening. Charlie cooked up an enormous feast with turkey and apple pie since I had spent Thanksgiving in the hospital. Charlie had given me a tool set to put the finishing touches on baby that the insurance didn’t cover. Sam and Jess bought me new clothes, a spice kit, and paid for my medical expenses. I didn’t deserve any of them. Though, they both loved their gifts as well. I bought Sammy an entire kitchenware set since him and Jess were moving into their new house in the spring. For Charlie and her family, I bought new camping gear. So, that was a plus. I also enjoyed time with my twin nieces, Lily and Tay. They had stayed with Charlie’s wife, Dorothy, while she was helping me around my home. They enjoyed rough housing, so Charlie kept them far away while I healed. Skidder was at their mercy all day as they put on his new sparkly collar and bell. Poor bastard. Of course, Charlie and Dorothy’s temporary apartment didn’t allow cats and they hadn’t found a new home yet, so I was stuck with the cat for a while longer.

After Christmas, came a long week of blizzards and doctors appointments. New Year’s Eve was my final appointment. My arm was finally freed from its devil’s trap, a.k.a. the sling from hell. I could also walk with a bit of a limp now. The doctors were impressed by my progress and I could finally retort with a shrug. I definitely took that gesture for granted when I had both shoulders. Currently home and able to fend for myself, I spent the better half of the day ushering Charlie out of my house. Sammy had taken Jess back to her parents house, where they were staying, since she wasn’t feeling well. Charlie was more of a challenge.

“Red. I’ll be fine. Go home and enjoy the holiday. Say hi to Dorothy and the girls for me. Go.” I shooed her out of the house, her dark red braid swinging behind her.

“I could stay for one more day!” She locked her brown eyes on me and I frowned. How did I nicely say that I’d go insane if she stayed one more day? I chewed on the inside of my left cheek.

“You have a job and a family Charlie. Go home. I’ll manage just fine and if I need help, I will call you or Sam right away. I promise.” I opened the front door and she sighed.

“Fine, but call me first Winchester.” With a kiss on the cheek and a punch on the good shoulder, she was gone. My home was quiet and besides Skidder, I was finally alone. I grabbed a skillet, and sauteed some chicken and peppers. I had missed cooking deeply. It was something I didn’t have to think too hard about, my mother’s recipes stored in memory. Her goal in life was to find the recipe that my dad would eat everyday. Boy, did she find it. Turns out, it was her homemade apple pie. My father had a bit of a sweet tooth. I decided to make that apple pie every year on their anniversary and bring it by my father’s house after my mom passed away. I continued the tradition after my father passed and brought pieces to their graves instead.

A knock on the front door startled me from my thoughts and I swallowed the last bit of chicken off my plate before Skidder could jump on the counter. Pulling open the door revealed Bela and Benny from work. Bela stood in her tight blue cocktail dress and silver heels, confident with her hair curled to frame her face. Benny wore a simple grey button down with black slacks, his scruff trimmed. Bela smirked, glancing at Benny and then at me.

“Hey brother.” Benny shook my hand with a wide and honest smile.

“Hey guys. Uh, come in.” I held the door ajar, waiting for them to move into the warmth of my house.

“No way Winchester. We came to pick you up. We are going to the Roadhouse for the New Year’s Eve party. We planned this months ago and since Sam confirmed you are doing fine, you aren’t getting out of it.” Bela crossed her arms over her chest as she narrowed her eyes at me.

“What she said.” Benny pulled the door shut behind them and sat on one of the bar stools. He bent down to scratch Skidder’s head with a smile. I looked between the two of them, thinking it over. Familiar blue irises squeezed their way into my mind and I frowned. Maybe I could get him to show again if I did something stupid. I shook that thought away quickly though. It wasn’t the smartest idea to have a pissed off angel. If I ignored Bela long enough, she would get bored and maybe I could talk to Benny about the angel. He was religious, so he probably knew a bit about them. Maybe he'd at least know the lore surrounding them.

I decided to comply with their request and changed into a navy blue button down and khaki slacks as I thought over how to bring up angels in natural conversation. I combed my fingers through my hair and huffed. I hoped I didn’t have the outward appearance of someone who hasn’t left the house in six weeks. Bela smirked and pulled me to the car, satisfied with my decision. She spoke about the past few weeks at work and how they were giving me an extension. Benny piped up every now and then, but focused on the road rather than the conversation. I let my mind wander in my own thoughts for a bit, deciding to keep the angels’ existence to myself. When I tuned back into the conversation, Bela was bragging about a new avocado-based salsa she created that could make her wealthier than she already was. Before I could process all of her excited chatter, we reached the overcrowded bar. I hadn’t been to the Roadhouse since Ellen and Jo left. They had sold it to a young couple after Bobby passed and moved down south. It had been years since Sam or I saw them. We maneuvered through after paying the cover charge for the live band.

“Will you dance?” Bela batted her long lashes and my lips twisted into a frown.

“I highly doubt I’m cleared to dance. I’ll be at the bar. I’m sure Benny will dance with you.” I side-stepped away and pushed Benny towards her. A chuckle escaped my lips at his expense and he glowered before placing his hand in hers. With them lost on the dance floor, I scanned the bar. My heart faltered for a moment as my eyes fell on a mess of raven hair. I hobbled over to the man who appeared to be arguing with his whiskey sour. My brain didn’t process proper English in that moment and it tried to compile a pleasant greeting.

“Howdy.” Nailed it. I have such a way with words. The man flinched, eyes widening. Before I could stop myself, my arm grasped his wrist tightly. “Please don’t poof away.” I cringed at my word-choice. Some smooth talker I was.

“I am sorry. Have we met?” His voice was rough and sent pleasant electricity down my back.

“Come on man. Don’t be like that. We both know I’m not crazy. Are you following me now? I’m not going to fly off to my inevitable demise just yet.” I spoke softly, unsure if anyone around was listening or even cared. He flinched, scowling.

“I wanted whiskey.” He huffed in response, spinning the straw around in the glass. It was full, seemingly untouched and I smirked.

“Well, don’t stop on my account.” I waved the bartender over. After ordering a rum and coke, I slid onto the conveniently open stool next to the angel.

“I am not an angel.” He quipped, glancing away from my general direction.

“Look man, if you’re going to be all secretive and shit, can you at least stay out of my thoughts? To me, you’re an angel. I don’t know how you did it, but you brought me back in that ambulance. I know it was you. What I don’t know is, why me? Why do you even care enough to intervene? Plenty of people die everyday, so why waste the energy?” My never-ending word vomit spewed from my lips and he seemed taken aback by my outburst. “Cause, let me tell you, you are the most angelic man I’ve seen. So, even if you aren’t technically an ‘angel’ of the sorts, I will continue to consider you one until you prove otherwise.” The words kept coming and he sucked in a shaky breath.

“I will refrain from reading your thought processes if you promise me something in return.” His voice was calm, yet strained. I nodded, though he blatantly ignored my questioning. “Please stop living recklessly. If there is an obstacle, let it slow you down. It is there for a reason.” He locked his stare on me and I melted under his gaze.

“Fine, but I have another condition.” It slipped out in a whisper before I could place my mental filter. His left brow raised, his eyes still locked on mine. “Can you tell me your name?” A small smile played on his lips and he nodded.

“My name is Castiel. With my name, you can call me if my assistance is needed. Reach out to me with your mind. I must be going now. Goodnight Dean Winchester.” He dissipated into the stale, bar air and my eyes widened as I glanced around. The drunken crowd didn’t seem to notice the apparition of a man and I sighed in relief. Castiel was a bit of a mouthful. Cas, I could work with. A small girl with dark auburn hair bumped against my back and I cringed. A muffled groan escaped my chapped lips.

“I am so sorry! My goodness, I am a klutz. Please, let me buy you a drink. I insist.” She chirped, her chocolate eyes wide. She placed a cool hand on my shoulder and I fought the urge to pull away from her touch. Her hand retracted ever so slightly and her eyes stayed trained on mine.

“There’s no need, really. I was just about to step out for some air after finishing this drink.” I swirled the rum and coke between my cheeks, swallowing the last bit down. She eyed the whiskey sour next to me and I glanced at the untouched liquor. I pushed the stool back, struggling to stand up straight.

“Are you not going to finish that? Do not let me scare you off.” She gestured to the drink.

“Oh, that’s not mine.” I frowned slightly, pushing the stool in.

“Do not be silly Dean. My brother bought that for you. He just forgot his manners when he saw all the different shades of green in your eyes. Finish it up and then meet me out front. We should talk.” She smiled widely, placing the drink in my hand and slipping through the crowd.

“Your brother?” The words blurted from my mouth. She winked over her shoulder, disappearing out the door. I chugged the drink and clanked the glass on the bar, thanking the bartender. I slipped a few crumpled bills on the wooden surface and followed the girl out. She was leaning against a sturdy oak tree, eyes trained on the starlit sky.

“Oh good! You followed. I really did not want to go back in there. It is very draining.” She admitted, shoulders slumping slightly before she smiled. “So, I am Anna Milton. If Castiel trusts you, then I do too. My brother trusts very few with his name.” She held out her hand. I placed my hand in hers, or so I thought. I was met with bitterly cold air and she giggled at my bewildered expression. “Sorry. It takes a lot of energy to be visible to everyone.” She shrugged.

“You’re a-” My words escaped me, my sentence hanging off.

“A ghost, yes.” She beamed up at me.

“And I can see you because-” I let my words trail off this time, hoping she would finish my thought.

“You have been touched by death twice now. The first was the accident that claimed your father and the second was-” I cut her off though, expecting her words.

“-when I flat-lined in the ambulance. Your brother saved me though.” I concluded. She smirked.

“You are quick to pick up on things, I rather enjoy that. Yes, Castiel saved you both times, though I have no intentions on explaining his motives. You will have to ask him that yourself.” I nodded, understanding her stance on the matter. She smiled wider. “Anyway, we once deceased and now spirits, can choose who we wish to see us. Typically, we only show ourselves to befriend or harm a person. It takes a lot of energy, so we do not make our decisions lightly. Those who have been touched by death more than once-” she gestured to me, “-can see through our natural barriers and see the majority of the spirit world, including the creatures that lurk. One way you can tell if there is a spirit in front of you is if they have a metal band on their left wrist. It is what binds us to this world. If you see a spirit that is not me, do not meet their eyes. No one else knows that you can see us and it should stay that way as long as possible. It would draw unwanted attention to you if someone else found out.” It took me a few minutes to absorb all of her words. I had no reason to believe she was lying, so I tried to take it at face value.

“Is your brother a spirit too?” She frowned slightly at my question.

“No, he is not. I cannot tell you what he is though. It is not my place.” She explained and I nodded in understanding. If I was some supernatural being, I wouldn’t want Sammy telling everyone what I was. So Cas wasn’t a spirit or an angel. That didn’t really help narrow it down though. “All I can say is that he is very protective of you. Though we are forbidden from directly interfering with human lives, he has disobeyed the elders to protect you. We should not even be interacting with you, but it seems as if he does not care anymore. He is being hunted though, for disobeying. Please do not tell anyone about us and please do not speak his name to anyone. Names hold a lot of power in our realm and with it, others could track him or lure him into a trap.” She nervously adjusted her off-white tank top to sit over her dark denim jeans. Her arms wrapped tighter to her chest, stretching the sleeves of her green cargo jacket.

“I promise. I won’t ever do anything to put him in danger.” I spoke the truth. The guy saved my life twice. He was an angel on my shoulder. Why would I betray him? She smiled widely and jumped forward, hugging me tightly. I returned the awkward hug until she faded back, my arms embracing the cold air. She huffed and leaned back against the tree.

“I need to stop using so much energy.” She rubbed her eyes before glancing up at me. “So, I need to ask for a favor. It is the real reason why I showed myself to you. I would not even ask, but I am out of options. Our other brother, Lucifer, is being held to lure Castiel in.”

“Lucifer, as in Satan?” I frowned.

“Actually, Lucifer is the name of a fallen angel.” She corrected me. Huh. Come to think of it, Castiel is the name of an angel too. At least, I think. “Before you say it, Castiel is the name of the Angel of Thursday. I know.” Angel of Thursday? “Anyway, Lucifer is being held in the abandoned hospital on the other side of town. There are sigils, symbols that keep us out or trap us. We cannot get through them and trust me, Castiel has been trying to without getting caught. I do not want to lose both of them. If you could sneak in and scrape the edge of one of the symbols, Lucifer could slip out. I can keep him under the radar then. I do not have much to offer in return. I cannot answer questions regarding Castiel or anyone you know who is deceased, but I gave you my real name. If you ever need help and Castiel has his ears off, I can be there.” She laid it all out for me, her words soaked with honesty. Besides self defense, our father taught Sam and I how to tell when someone is lying. He was a marine and he knew his shit.

“I’ll help you.” My words were soft as the alcohol swirled around, warming my body. She bounced, nearly throwing her arms around me before stopping herself.

“Sorry, I am a bit of a hugger and I forget that I would just fall through you.” She laughed at herself, eyes sparkling. “Are you sure you want to help?”

“I’ll do what I can.” I nodded. I owed Cas my life twice over. I can start making up for it by helping his family.

“Alright, in a week, you just have to reach out to me with your mind. Castiel can find you without the tether, but I need the connection to find you. At eleven, Saturday evening, call for me. The only sigil that could keep you out will be powerless at that time. I have to go now, but have Castiel teach you the sigils. Thank-you Dean.” She called forth energy to hug me once more before jogging off. I nodded, a small smile on my lips. Castiel. His name ran through my mind, enveloping my thoughts in warmth. There was something about the guy, but I couldn’t place it. I stumbled home, dragging my leg behind me. The quick text to Bela and Benny, explaining that my exhaustion got the better of me, would have to suffice as my pathetic excuse for leaving.

The door latched shut behind me and I clicked the lock in place as Skidder greeted me with a rub of his face against my shin. I scooped him into my arms, allowing him to bump my face with his nose, his purring body vibrating against my chest. We got along occasionally. When he was done with me, he wiggled until I released him. He disappeared into my bedroom and I retreated into the bathroom, shrugging my button-down off my shoulder. I grabbed my toothbrush, sticking it in my mouth with the crisp toothpaste. My eyes glanced up at my reflection and I choked on the minty freshness.

“Son of a bitch!” The statement shot out from my lips and Castiel’s eyes widened. My toothbrush slipped out and clattered into the sink. His blue orbs squinted as they locked on my stare and his head tilted slightly. “You could at least say hi first! Give me a freakin’ warning!”

“Howdy.” Amusement twinkled in his eyes, a small smile playing on his lips. I couldn’t help myself, doubling over in laughter as soft chuckles escaped him. I gave him a smile before rinsing my mouth out and leading him out of the bathroom. “My apologies for startling you Dean. That was not my intention.” He assured me as he stood rather close to me by the bar stools in the kitchen.

“Personal space man.” I huffed awkwardly, stepping around to the other side of the island and leaning on the counter next to the sink.

“My apologies.” He glanced away, eyes narrowed.

“It’s not a huge deal.” I shrugged, using that as my sad attempt at reassuring him.

“I felt a pull to you. I just could not answer right away and for that, I am sorry.” He seemed ashamed now and I glanced at him, frowning slightly. Warmth spread across my cheeks and  I looked away, fiddling with the amulet Sam gave me when we were kids.

“On my walk back from the bar, I guess my thoughts drifted to you. It’s my turn to apologize.” I choked out, glancing down. A gentle warmth brushed my cheek and my eyes widened.

“There is no need for apologizing. I told you my name and I promised to come when you call.” His voice was clear and honest, the warmth pushing my chin up so I could meet his stare.

“I-thank-you.” He smiled sweetly, his eyes crinkling as the warmth gently recoiled. “You woke me.” I huffed and his eyes widened, the warmth snapping away from me. “The night before my accident, when I nearly scorched my place down with alfredo sauce. You were the touch that woke me up.” My conclusion seemed correct as he glanced away, nodding.

“It is why I was so angry in the hospital. I will always protect you to the best of my abilities.” He promised, the warmth returning slightly and I basked in it.

“What are your abilities?” Curiosity got the better of me and he stiffened.

“I cannot say.” He frowned, turning away from me. The warmth dissipated and I pushed myself forward.

“Hey, don’t leave. It’s okay. I trust you man. No idea why, but I really do. Please stay. I was going to make some coffee. It’s this awesome hazelnut blend from a shop in town that Jess brought to Christmas dinner. Would you like some?” I knew he probably had better things to do than drink coffee with me, but I was desperate. He glanced at the clock and frowned.

“It is almost midnight. I thought you would want to be with your friends, ringing in the new year. That is what humans do, is it not?" He spoke halfheartedly.

“I’d rather spend it with you, if that’s alright. Coffee is the least I can do.” I placed the filter in the coffee maker and filled the reservoir with water. I poured in the coffee grounds and freed two mugs from the cabinet. He eyed the green one, speckled with gold and I placed it in front of him with sugar and cream.

“You do not owe me anything Dean, but I would like to join you for coffee. I have not tried it before.” He responded, sliding onto one of the bar stools.

“You haven’t had coffee before? Blasphemy man! We are fixing that tonight!” I clapped my hands together and leaned my elbows onto the island. He smiled slightly before glancing away.

“Anna told me that she reached out to you.” He sighed.

“Are you angry about that?” I frowned slightly.

“No, I am not. I just want to make sure you know what you are getting yourself into Dean. I would like to go over some of the sigils with you tomorrow, if that is alright.” He locked eyes with me again.

“I’m all yours.” I responded and I meant it. He smiled gently, glancing at the mug. His smile seemed so familiar. That gentleness and bright blue eyes. I huffed, glancing down at his wrists placed on the counter. His trench coat sleeves had pulled up a bit to expose the bands on his wrists. A blue crystalline band wrapped around his left wrist, jagged cracks stretching across it. I sucked in a breath, locking my stare on his widened gaze. “It was real.” The words escaped me and he frowned.

“You will have to be more specific.” His response agitated me. He had to know what I was referring to!

“Cas, don’t do this to me. A year and four months ago, I lost my father and almost died in a car accident. Except, a miracle occurred and I came back from the freakin’ dead in front of Sammy like I was a cat who lost one of my nine lives. Before I woke up to those horrible fluorescent hospital lights and the sobbing of Bobby and Charlie, I had the weirdest dream. This man was speaking to me after pulling me from the wreckage. We sat on the side of the road and I begged him not to take me. He had already taken my father, my mom was long gone, and I refused to abandon Sammy. We spoke for a while, about the stars. He pointed out constellations and before he could tell me it was time, I asked to touch his bracelet. I had seen nothing like it before. It was this blue, crystalline brace that seemed as fragile as a glass house, yet strong. I couldn’t explain the emotions I felt when I saw it. I still can’t at this very moment. For some odd reason, this guy let me touch it and my hands cracked it. His eyes went blank and his body slack. I thought I had killed the guy and I shook his lifeless body. Then he came rushing back into the present and sincerely apologized before placing two fingers to my forehead and knocking me unconscious. I awoke in that hospital bed, thinking I dreamed while in a coma because Sammy swore he didn’t see anyone there and that I had stopped breathing before the ambulance got there. It wasn’t a dream though, was it? That was you, Cas.” I spoke urgently, the words flowing from my lips before he could cut me off. His startled expression shifted to a look of anguish and hurt. It caused my gut to twist and he whispered an apology before vanishing. That night, I was left with two empty mugs and a steaming coffee pot.


	4. Sigils and Satanic Rituals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Aw, Clarence. You flatter me. You know I don't like being called 'good' though. I prefer the term ‘chaotic neutral’.” Her eyes flicked to black and I gripped my switchblade tightly, launching myself forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful New Years! I just finished reworking this chapter and the next one is almost done. I hope to have it up by tonight! I greatly appreciate any critiques or comments. Enjoy!

**January 8th**

**Dean**

* * *

 

I stretched my aching ankle, twisting my foot to match the exercises my physical therapist gave me. I was cleared to return to work the next week and I didn’t want to push it too far, thus I found myself distracting myself with physical therapy, conjuring up recipes, and learning sigils instead of thinking about the guardian angel. After I had my revelation and scared him off, I shut myself in my room and buried my body under blankets. The next morning, I stumbled out my front door and nearly tripped over a large, leather-bound book. Ten pages were marked with golden sticky notes and I decided to spend the week memorizing each sigil and their purposes. I flipped through the book one last time, gulping down the last bit of coffee. _Alright, Anna. Let’s get this show on the road._ The moment her name formed in my mind, the spirit materialized in front of me. The cracked mug nearly slipped from my fingers as I tensed in response.

“Dean! I would like to formally apologize for my imbecile of a brother. He seems to have convinced himself that it was his fault your father passed on. I suggest calling him when we are done. I hope that book taught you everything you need to know.” Her words racked around my brain and I frowned as she grabbed my wrist.

“Why would I blame him? Just reviving me put a target on his back. I would never have asked him to save my dad. I knew he was gone. I only asked him to bring me back so Sammy wasn’t on his own. I was the selfish one and should be the one apologizing.” I huffed as Anna clucked her tongue in agreeance. I thought over what Cas had said about reaching out with my mind and gave it a try.

_Hey Cas. I don’t know if you have your ears on, but I’m sorry man. I didn’t mean to upset you. Your job was to ensure my dad’s safe travel to the afterlife and I owe you one. Anna just showed up and she’s taking me to get Lucifer now. I have more coffee if you still want to try it when I get back._

My thoughts were cut off as pain shot down my spine, my vision blurring to the point that I felt nauseous and couldn’t tell if we were in my house anymore or not. The air pushed out of my lungs until my body landed in a sprawled out mess in the dirt. Wiping the particles from my eyes, I coughed up the residual dirt clumping in my chest. Anna gave me a sheepish smile before yanking me to my feet.

“I did not account for how much energy it takes to transport a human. I am sorry.” She assisted me in brushing the dirt and dust off of my clothes before gesturing to the cracked window of a run-down hospital. “So there are going to be spirits throughout the building. If you can see them, they can see you. Stay focused. Castiel says that Lucifer is in room 376B. If a spirit sees you, use the banishing sigil from the book or hit them with this.” She placed a glistening iron rod in my hand. A thick cloth resided in her hand, blocking the object from contacting her skin. “It is from the afterworld, blessed in the River of Souls. Castiel retrieved it yesterday morning and those in the afterworld are not fond of him, so he is healing now. Do not lose it, for it will send spirits back to the afterworld.” I nodded, swallowing harshly before locking my stare on her. I had my switchblade in my pocket as well, in case dark souls resided within the hospital. I wasn’t taking chances. “Look, if you do not wish to go through with this, we understand.” She spoke softer, gaze sincere. I shook my head, grip tightening on the rod. She had no idea. This was routine. Know the way in and out, watch your back, stab to kill, and ask questions later. Sammy and I had it down to a pattern, though I had handled plenty of hunts without Sam in the past. This was no different.

“I can do it.” I nodded, stopping my mind from wandering to familiar blue eyes and raven hair. A sigh escaped my lips.

“I promise, Castiel will come to his senses eventually. Focus now and remember, the ritual will start in an hour. Get in and out with Lucifer. He is the grumpy one in the center of the circular sigils. Do not trust anyone else in there. Good luck Dean.” Her cool lips pressed against my temple as she vanished with the mist of the nighttime atmosphere. An hour until the satanic ritual, perfect. I hauled the window open, sliding through and hitting the cracked ground gently. The air was stale, dust filling my lungs as I scanned the surrounding hallway. I flipped open my switchblade, scraping away the sigils around the window before maneuvering down the hall. The floors creaked under my feet, the halls barren. I came across nothing, but mouse carcasses and spider webs. _Hey Cas. I know you aren’t really up for listening to me right now, but something isn’t right. There’s nothing here. Just worn sigils and layers of dust._ A frown formed on my lips as I stepped to the center of room 376B. The tip of my boots resided outside the dull red of the ritual circle. Weird. The circle sparked on the edge as my toe tapped it, shoving me backwards. In my stumble, the rod slipped from my grasp and clattered into the center of the circle. I had two options now. Step into the sparking, ominous circle and retrieve the rod or just leave and hope Anna will know what the circle means. I mentally flipped through the sigils and couldn’t find any red flags in the symbols surrounding the circle. The patterns seemed to surround sparking and souls, but nothing dangerous. My brow furrowed as I scanned the room.

“Boo.” A whisper brushed against my ear and I freed my switchblade, jumping back into the corner of the room. With my back covered, I scanned the room. “You’re a lot more jumpy than I expected. What are you doing in my hospital?” A man flickered in front of me, studying me with his eye squinted.

“None of your business, Ugly.” I quipped, studying his mutilated face. His left eye hung from its socket and a gash stretched across his forehead. Dry blood was caked over his face and he smirked. “Rough day?”

“Rough life. I enjoy sharing though. Misery loves company.” He raised his arm and a force shoved me from the corner, slamming my body against the wall. He was on me quickly, his fingernails centimeters from my head.

“Son of a bitch.” I growled, twisting his wrist back. It wasn’t possible to break a spirit’s wrist though so I focused my energy on flipping us over. _Cas! Anna! Someone with their goddamn ears on! S.O.S._

“You would have saved yourself the pain if you just stepped into the circle. It would have been painless then.” He cooed as his fingernails cut into my forehead. I cringed, yelling out as the pain blurred my vision. His body was solidified. It had to be to cut me. His nails moved to shred my cheek before he raised it above my eye. I curled my knees up to my chest, flexing my feet and pushing until his body lifted from my chest. I swung my switchblade, the spirit hissing as the iron on the handle burned him. I pressed my fingers to my forehead, soaking them with my own blood and drawing the sigil from memory quickly.

“Later Ugly.” I snapped, slamming my palm against the wall. A force shot from the wall, the spirit screaming as the light burned him into swirls of smoke. I huffed, dropping down against the wall as my eyes closed.  A gentle caress touched my cheek and I swung my hand up, stopping the blade an inch from Anna’s face. Her eyes widened and she flinched. “Sorry.” I mumbled, leaning my head back against the wall.

“Dean. What happened?” She glanced around and pushed herself up. She retrieved the rod from the center of the circle and it vanished.

“Lucifer wasn’t here. It was just this spirit with his eye hanging out of its socket. He wanted me to join his ugly party and then step into that freakin’ circle.” I explained, groaning as she pulled me to my feet.

“It is a soul-splitting circle. It would have ripped your soul from your body and split it in half. There is no coming back from that.” She explained, as she placed her hand on my wrist.

“Sounds peachy.” I muttered before the world around me twisted and I ended up on my front walkway.

“Go inside and rest. I have to speak with the others. Thank-you Dean.” She kissed my temple again before vanishing. Great, wonderful. The night was completely pointless and Lucifer was nowhere to be found. I stumbled into my apartment, limbs aching. I ignored Skidder’s meowing and fumbled around the bathroom, gritting my teeth as I cleaned the wounds and stitched the gash across my forehead. Freakin’ spirits. Pressure maneuvered into my mind and I groaned , falling down onto the closed toilet.

_Dean. Dean, are you okay? What happened? Are you safe?_

I flinched, rubbing my eyes before squinting at the bathroom wall. _Dean, please say something. I can hear you._ The voice in my head, it was Cas’s.

_Cas, man is that you? Finally have your ears on?_

_Hello Dean. Frankly, I do not know what lore you read, but my ears cannot come off._ I chuckled, my laughter switching into coughing before I could gather my thoughts to respond.

_It’s an expression man. I didn’t mean that your ears physically come off._

_I do not understand Dean._

_Don’t worry about it. It’s not important._

_On the contrary Dean, I find what you say very important._

_Thanks Cas._ A blush crept its way up my neck and I shook my head.

_Of course Dean. Since you are responding, I assume you are okay? Anna has just come to inform me of what happened. I would like to check on you myself if that is alright._

_I’ll have a nice scar across my forehead as a keepsake, but I’m good Cas. You don’t have to check up on me. I’m probably going to make some coffee and lay down for a while._

_You have a forehead wound? I will be there in a few minutes Dean._ The pressure was gone as soon as my name was spoken. I sighed, staggering to the kitchen. I poured out cat food, scratching Skidder’s head before making some coffee. I dumped water in the coffeemaker and freed two cups from the cabinet. While the coffee brewed, I retrieved bundles of blankets from my room and tossed them onto the couch. It was freezing in my house and the heat wasn’t getting turned up higher than that. The electric in this house was highway robbery. I poured out the coffee, placing Cas’s mug on the island and bringing mine to the end table. I curled up on the couch, burying myself under blankets and closing my eyes. I should probably call Sam and tell him what’s going on. He could help me find Lucifer. We always worked better together. A soft smile and wisps of blonde hair flashed through my mind and I sighed. Jess. I couldn’t take Sammy away from her, not again. It didn’t end well last time and Jess almost died. All because dad went off the deep end and a dark soul tried to use her against us. I shook my head and frowned. The coffee was probably cold by now. My eyes opened slowly and I shot straight up off of the couch. Cas was seated on the love seat across from me, coffee mug in his hands. His gaze was fixated on Skidder as if the cat personally offended him. He glanced up, noticing my movement and smiled.

“Hello Dean. This coffee is truly magnificent. I understand humans’ appreciation for it.” He raised his mug and sipped at it again.

“Hey Cas. I can make some fresh coffee for us. It’s probably cold.” I held my tongue, stifling a groan as I pushed myself off of the couch. Cas waved me off though and gestured to my steaming mug. I tested the coffee and it was pleasantly hot. I studied the liquid, left brow raised as I glanced back up at Cas.

“It is one of the perks, I suppose.” He shrugged with a small smile as he continued sipping his coffee. “I apologize for the added company.” He added softly as the bar stools in the kitchen clattered to the floor. I jolted up, hand slipping to retrieve my switchblade from my pocket. Anna stood next to a short, dark-haired woman. The unknown woman made herself comfortable, leaning against the counter as she locked eyes with me. I stared her down, glancing at her wrist. She didn’t have a bracelet, so she wasn’t a spirit. “Her name is Meg. She is good Dean. I would not put you in harm's way.” Cas assured me and a wide smirk broke out on the woman’s face.

“Aw, Clarence. You flatter me. You know I don't like being called 'good' though. I prefer the term ‘chaotic neutral’.” Her eyes flicked to black and I gripped my switchblade tightly, launching myself forward. Warm energy wrapped around my body, pulling me back before I could reach her with my blade.

“A dark soul? Really Cas? You’re all buddy-buddy with a dark soul?” I shouted, fighting against the warmth attempting to calm me. He tilted his head, studying me before glancing at the dark soul.

“You should really shorten the leash on your pet Clarence. At least teach him some manners.” She huffed, before narrowing her gaze on me. “Where’d you get the blade from tough guy?”

“None of your freakin’ business Princess.” I growled and she smirked again.

“No manners.” She clicked her tongue before sauntering over to us. She brushed Cas’s hair back from his forehead and smiled sweetly as she knelt down. “So, whatcha need Celeste’s magic for?” She held a small vial, containing swirls of white. Cas whispered to her and she cackled, falling back on her butt. “You wanted her magic to make sure the ape doesn’t scar? You kill me Clarence. You really do.” She uncapped the vial and stepped towards me. I raised the blade, changing my stance to be defensive. “Easy tiger. I’m only doing this because I owe Castiel. So untwist your panties for a second.” The warmth strengthened as she spoke and I couldn’t move even if I wanted to slit her throat. She blew the wisps on my face and the pain in my forehead was alleviated. “There, now if you excuse me, I wish to see your cat.” She disappeared down the hall and the warmth dissipated.

“Cas, I would have taken care of it man. My forehead would have healed fine. You don’t have to call upon some dark soul to heal me.” I grumbled, dropping onto the couch and closing my blade.

“She is a friend Dean. She was coming regardless and I figured she could at least bring a peace offering since I am not at full power. I would have healed you myself otherwise. How do you know about dark souls?” He spoke calmly as Anna dropped down next to me with an apologetic smile.

“Just heard stories.” I mumbled, glancing away.

“I know you are lying.” He retorted.

“Can’t yah just read my mind again? It’s not like I can hide anything from you.” I still wouldn’t meet his eyes and Anna sighed.

“I promised you that I would refrain from doing such things. I intend to keep the promises I make to you Dean.” He assured me and the honesty coating his words left me speechless. I thought over what has happened thus far and I nodded.

“My dad hunted dark souls. He taught Sam and I how to defend ourselves against them. The knife was his.” I maneuvered over to sit next to him as Anna stood to find Meg. I smiled shyly at him, holding the switchblade out for him to see.  

“May I?” Cas reaches up, eyes trained on the symbols carved into the blade. I nodded, handing him the blade. “The knife could harm me quite easily. Your father was a clever man.” He handed the blade back to me and I shut it, sliding it back into my pocket.

“Yeah, well he swore a dark soul killed my mom. Sammy and I-” I took a breath, calming myself as my fists clenched. “-we spent years living out of motels while my dad hunted them. When Sam went to Stanford, I figured I could get away too and find a home for myself. My dad lost himself when we left. I should have-” I cut myself off, grimacing as Meg stepped back out into the living room.

“Cute cat.” She smirked, lowering herself onto the couch. Anna sat next to her, smiling gently. She was oddly quiet. Cas glanced at me a moment before speaking.

“Perhaps we should continue this conversation later?” It was more of a question and I nodded. _Dean, do not blame yourself for your father’s decision. You deserve to have a normal life, just like your brother. You did nothing wrong. You staying with him would not have changed the outcome. If the dark soul that crashed your car knew of your existence, he would have come back to finish the job. Since you separated yourself, I was able to save you. Please do not wallow in guilt._ His words were accompanied by a gentle warmth brushing against my cheek and I tensed. He frowned, glancing away. _I apologize. I will refrain from that._

_No, don’t. Cas, I just have to get used to it. I appreciate the reassurance, it’s just foreign to me._

_It is my life energy. I can project it to use as I see fit and you seemed to find comfort in it before._

_I do. Thanks Cas._ He smiled and nodded, his presence leaving my mind once again. 

“Would you like to see how Meg and I met?” Cas questioned aloud and Meg scowled, crossing her arms over her chest. She stood and reached her hand out towards my temple. I flinched back and pulled my blade out.

“Don’t freakin’ touch me!” I snapped, ignoring the warm hand on my shoulder.

“Meg can share the memory with me and I can share it with you, if you would like.” Anna suggested, standing next to Meg. I glanced between them before locking my stare with Cas.

“I would share my memory with you, but too much of my presence in a human’s mind has been known to leave damage. I do not wish to risk it. Anna will not harm you and I will be right here the entire time.” Cas squeezed my shoulder, maintaining the contact. I glanced between the three supernatural beings in my living room.

“Let’s do this.” I nodded at Anna and she smiled.


	5. Where It All Began

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My body smacked the concrete with a solid thud, the breath knocked out of me as bones within my skeleton cracked. The pain I could handle. The hell hounds getting me, I could not. I pushed myself up and stumbled as fast as I could, separating myself from my apartment. I am the hunter, not the hunted. I pushed myself further away from the howling and snarls of the hounds. I turned around in time to see Castiel shoving his blade through the skull of one hell hound, his hand on the other as light shot through its eyes. Both mutts crumbled to the ground. Guess the reaper’s powers were back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the memory Meg shares with Dean! It is written in first person.

**December 5th (Three Years Prior)**

**Meg**

* * *

 

The city skyline surrounded me as I walked back to my apartment. The beauty of living on the edge of the city was that the city lights guided me home while the soft stars of the suburbs calmed me to sleep. The stairs creaked under my worn combat boots, my keys jingling in my pocket. My door clicked open with ease as I slid into my apartment, my body sliding to the ground the second the door shut. The hairs on my neck stood on end as my wide eyes fell on the open window in the living room. I had locked it before leaving this afternoon. I pulled myself behind the bookshelf as a knife cut the air, impaling the oak door. Freeing my switchblades from my back pocket, I glanced around the bookshelf. I threw myself in harm’s way, rolling forward and flicking a blade at the hunched over shape in the kitchen. The intruder ran forward, slamming me against the wall by my throat. My toes stretched down, brushing the ground in hope that I would not choke to death. I swung my arm around, digging my switchblade into his arm. His hand released me as I slid to the ground and threw myself forward, knocking his legs out from under him. I flipped on top of him, my knee on his stomach as I held his arms down. The sigils covering the walls of my apartment kept his powers restricted and I pulled my gun out from my boot, aiming it at his head with my finger on the trigger.

“What the hell do you want?” I narrowed my eyes at the man. He seemed not much older than myself, his eyes bright blue and his hair pigmented so dark that the brown nearly appeared black. The silence was more unnerving than the fact that he could have my journal. My eyes fell on the band on his wrist. “A reaper, eh? You know you are powerless here, right? I’m sure you can feel it. If I wanted to possess you, your ass would be done for.” I stared at his blank gaze, his body still. “You know, the whole silence thing doesn’t phase me, except for the fact that we dark souls, like to hear ourselves talk. Now tell me, isn’t assassinating an assassin a tad bit hypocritical? Obviously we are different species, but an assassin is an assassin. Next time though, you might want to shut the window you climb in.” I finished my speech and slammed my head down on his forehead, the lights going out for him. I rolled off of him, rubbing my head with a scowl. I had to stop doing that. I tied him up quickly, charming the rope so he could not break free. I hid myself, eyes scanning the bookshelves around the room before he stirred. The man slowly gained consciousness, his eyes now wide as he attempted to free his bound wrists. I perched on the edge of my loft, above his line of vision. His struggles were admirable as he nearly rubbed his wrists raw. “There’s no use reaper. I figured you would know how to escape from the typical knots so I just twisted the rope into a chaotic mess and enchanted it. Clever, right?” I dropped down, my knees bending to take in the blow. His eyes studied me silently, observing my motions, my walk, and my speech. “Now, I usually wouldn’t mind the quietness because I thrive on hearing my own voice, especially when someone is forced to listen to me. It gives me an insatiable high that’s nearly indescribable. See, the issue here now is that you show up, shattering my glorious hiatus of freedom from being hunted down and now you won’t talk. Between you and me, you’ve got a handsome face and I really don’t want to mess it up, but if you don’t start talking, I’m going to have to. I really don’t like being hunted, especially by mediocre assassins. I mean, if you’re going to hunt me down, at least have some common sense, shut the windows, and scratch the sigils. Rule number one bud, mentally track your steps and don’t leave hints behind. You royally messed up, so now here we are. You know who I am, Meg Masters, the horribly fated, demonic assassin. The real question is: who are you?” I spoke until my lungs nearly gave out, pressing my loaded gun to his cheek. His eyes locked with mine as he processed my words. The silence was almost unbearable as I used all my strength to whip my gun across his cheek, his head twisting from the impact. “You know, I have many methods of torture in this twisted mind. I’ve lived in hell for fifty years, Earth time. A knight of hell trained me. I could possess you, know your whole life in mere seconds.” I leaned over, moving so we were face to face.

“Why don’t you then?” His voice was soft, deep, and honest in the purest form. There was no fear present in his voice and I was intrigued by the sound.

“What’s the fun in that?” I shrugged, hoping he would continue. I pulled the stool to reside across from him and sat patiently. He simply stared into my gaze, but I decided to hold my tongue.

“Who knew all I had to do to silence you was send a mediocre assassin? I would’ve done this decades ago.” Crowley sauntered in as if he owned the place, as if he was safe here. My blood boiled as my eyes fell on his arrogant and hypocritical smirk.

“You’re a rat Crowley. What the hell do you want?” I stood, kicking the stool back and tightening my grip on my gun.

“Just to chat lovely, just to chat. I am the king of hell you know. I am allowed to check up on my people.” He utilized a blade to saw through the rope binding the reaper’s wrists.

“I’m not really in the mood to listen to your agonizingly painful voice right now.” I rolled my eyes, observing how calmly the reaper sat.

“I think it’s in your best interest to listen doll face. I have answers that you seek.” He awaited my next snide remark, but I held my tongue once again. “Glad you see it my way. Now this fellow is Castiel and I retrieved him from the afterworld. I trained him myself and had Alastair help a bit. He left some beautiful scars on the reaper's chest.” He gestured to the pitiful assassin.

“So that’s why he has so many flaws. It all makes sense now.” I concluded, smirking at the king.

“Quiet demon. Castiel was sent here to distract you so I could retrieve your journal. See, I like to rewrite destinies and yours will be the most satisfying. I’ll take my time and make it as if you never left home.” He snickered, his eyes gleaming with a red hue.

“You freakin’ asshat.” I growled, feeling my eyes flick to bottomless pits of darkness as I stood, lifting my arm to push him back against the wall.

“Silence her Castiel.” He ordered and in a mere blink, the wind was knocked out of me and I struggled to breathe. My vocal cords no longer worked as I fought to get out one more syllable. “Isn’t it wonderful Castiel? The sweet silence is serene. Enjoy your stay in hell doll face, the hell hounds will be here soon. Sorry about the mahogany. I had Castiel indulge in some art. Oh, and one more thing.” He slashed the blade across Castiel’s face and strolled to the doorway. “That’s for opening your mouth and disobeying me. You should use your power on yourself next time. I’ll come for you when I require your assistance again. Tah doll face. Enjoy your last moments on Earth.” He slammed the door behind him, leaving me silent and hostile in his wake with his bloody pet. Castiel locked eyes with me again, blinking twice as I felt my lungs inflate, my throat no longer tensed. I glowered at the ground in defeat, my mind lost in a swirl of memories of hell. Crowley will torture my soul for the rest of my existence.

“I am Castiel, reaper and warrior of the afterworld. I was taken and tortured by Alastair. Crowley has my sister and I have to obey to protect her until my brothers can free her. Please accept my sorrowful apology dark soul. I have been told your life story as an assassin and I have no feud with you, but I fear that I have no other options. I was captured like an animal.” He frowned, utilizing his blade to scrape away a bit of dried blood painted on my beautiful mahogany that was restricting my movement.

“How did I miss the blood? Why did Crowley choose you?” My jumbled mind did not process my words before I spoke as I tore about my bookshelf for anything on Crowley. He knew me like the back of his hand though, so he took any useful book I had. All I knew was that he was king and he was heavily guarded.

“Crowley calculated his plan ever so carefully. He determined that you would be charmed by my presence and distracted by my silence so that he could freely move about undetected. I am half human, half reaper. I have human siblings who were easy targets to use against me. Excuse my disrespect, but are your eyes permanently black?” He seemed uneasy as he stood with his blood dripping all over my throw rug. I frowned as my eyes flicked back to their original shade.

“You’re getting blood over my new carpet. Come on, into the kitchen.” I ushered him onto the tile floor and told him to sit on a stool. He complied, frowning slightly. “Can’t you just heal yourself?” I muttered, recalling the little information I had on reapers.

“Crowley subdued my abilities for a short amount of time and your sigils weaken me, so I cannot right now.” He frowned as I placed a wet towel on his wound.

“Damn rat. Does he still have your sister?” I muttered. Crowley had many strings to pull.

“To my knowledge, my brothers tried rescuing her and failed.” Regret swirled in his eyes as he spoke. I studied his posture, processing his words. He had no reason to lie to me, but he was still Crowley’s bitch.

“Alright, get-” Just as I was about to kick him to the curb, the atmosphere in my apartment dropped drastically. “If I teleport you, will you be okay?” I questioned hurriedly, the hair on the back of my neck standing on edge.

“I believe I will be fine, but I am not sure.” His eyes widened as he sensed the change in the apartment.

“Time to run.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the window, throwing it open and handing him the spare gun from under the shelf. “Just shoot at anything that comes through that door.” I ordered, glancing through the window and calculating how many broken bones we will have from the fall. We could survive the three-floor jump. “Go! Out the window and under the car. They aren’t after you.” I yelled as he nodded and jumped, complete faith in me. I turned in time to see the hell hound’s claws inches from my face. I threw myself out of the window and spun, unloading my gun on the beast. It lunged for me as I swiftly teleported to the ground. My body smacked the concrete with a solid thud, the breath knocked out of me as bones within my skeleton cracked. The pain I could handle. The hell hounds getting me, I could not. I pushed myself up and stumbled as fast as I could, separating myself from my apartment. I am the hunter, not the hunted. I pushed myself further away from the howling and snarls of the hounds. I turned around in time to see Castiel shoving his blade through the skull of one hell hound, his hand on the other as light shot through its eyes. Both mutts crumbled to the ground. Guess the reaper’s powers were back.  

“I can help you hide yourself again. Crowley won’t be able to track you and you can plan to get your journal back.” He offered, standing tall now that the power was swirling within him again.

“Sure Clarence. I’ll help you get your sister back then. Come on, I have a safe house in the mountains.” I gestured for him to follow me and his head tilted with narrow eyes. I ignored his confusion and grabbed his arm, teleporting us to the safe house.


	6. Blueberries, a Reaper's Weakness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Food is wonderful Dean.” His voice was muffled by the mushed berries. His cheeks were rosy as he continued devouring the fruit until there was only juice remaining in the carton. For a guy that didn’t need to eat, he had quite the appetite. I scanned the square before getting up and maneuvering over to Julia’s stand. I placed sixteen dollars on her table and grabbed the remaining four cartons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm posting another tonight because the story just kept going in my head and I had the time. I apologize for any missed edits. This is just a fun little chapter focusing on Dean and Cas. Enjoy!

**January 9th**

**Dean**

* * *

The clock in my living room struck midnight as I was jolted from the memory. I pushed Cas’s hand off of my shoulder, bolting into the bathroom and throwing up my dinner. The regurgitated spices burned my throat and I wiped the tears from my eyes. My head was pounding and I ignored the sudden presence behind me until I could see straight without feeling nauseous. I fell back on my butt, pulling my knees to my chest after closing the toilet lid. I shut my eyes, taking deep breaths as my heart tried to slam out of my chest. My eyes slowly cracked open and I looked behind me. Cas was sitting on my bathroom floor, hand raised above my back. He was hesitant and he met my stare. I nodded and he gently rubbed soothing circles on my back.

“Did Alastair really torture you?” I choked out, rubbing my mouth with toilet paper. Castiel stayed silent behind me as another wave of nausea hit me, causing my body to tense. “Cas.” I strained my throat to speak.

“Yes Dean, he did. That was a long time ago though. It is not important.” Cas spoke softly and I turned to lock my gaze on him. His eyes widened.

“The hell it’s not. Cas, you were tortured! Anna died because of Crowley and Alastair tortured you! I’ve seen what Alastair can do, man. You don’t come out of there without mental scars.” I placed mental walls around the memories of the abandoned warehouse in New Jersey. My dad had found the warehouse on a hunch, hoping to catch the supposed yellow-eyed dark soul that killed mom. It looked like a slaughterhouse. There was blood soaked into the cement floor, organs and people hung up like haunted house props. It was Alastair’s personal torture dungeon until my dad had a group of hunters put up warding to keep him out before contacting the police to retrieve the victims. They reported it as a serial killer, one that has yet to be caught. I lifted the lid again, dry-heaving until my eyes burned.

“Dean, may I? You should rest and I can help.” He lifted two fingers and studied my eyes, his own eyes dismal. He had ignored my outburst and I couldn't blame him for it. It's not something I would want to relive either, even in memories. I pushed myself backwards after flushing the toilet. I fell back against the edge of the tub.

“Not with Meg here. I can’t. I know she isn’t as bad as the others, but she is still a dark soul.” I sucked in air, trying to calm my breathing.

“Okay, I can ask her to leave. It will be alright Dean.” Cas assured me, standing up and disappearing from view. I grabbed his wrist first, pulling him back. My throat ached and protested when I tried to speak, so I gave it a break.

 _Can I ask her a question first?_ Cas smiled softly and nodded, helping me to my feet. I stumbled after him and found Meg sitting alone in the living room.

“Anna thinks she has a lead on Lucifer so she had to go check it out. She’s sorry for the mind trauma. Guess the memory was a little too vivid. You okay Princess?” Meg moved in a blink and was leaning against the island again, scratching Skidder under his chin.

“Crowley. Wasn’t he a crossroads demon?” I ignored her for the most part and just asked my question. She seemed taken aback by my question and thought over my words.

“He started off as that. He hasn’t been a crossroads demon for a long time. He became king over a decade ago and that's just in your time. In hell, it’s a lot longer. You know him?” Meg narrowed her eyes at me and I nodded.

“We go way back.” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. _My dad made a deal with Crowley a few years back. He was suppose to have my dad’s soul when he died._ I explained this to Cas only. His eyes widened. Only Sam and I knew about the deal. We didn't think Crowley, as a crossroads demon would be much of a threat, but as king? Who knows what he could do.

_Dean, I took your dad’s soul. Crowley did not even have the time to claim it when he passed. This could be very bad._

_I know._ He must of noticed my strained expression because he attempted to reassure me quickly. 

_I will look into it and see what I can find about Crowley. Do not worry Dean._

I rinsed my mouth out with water as Cas spoke quietly with Meg. She grumbled something under her breath before she vanished. Cas turned towards me and stepped forward.

“If you would like to get comfortable, I can help you sleep and then I will leave.” Cas gestured to the couch and I studied him, thinking over everything that happened tonight.

“Are you going home?” I questioned, wandering over to the couch. Cas paused in the kitchen, studying the front door.

“No, I do not have a home.” His words surprised me and I sat up, locking my eyes with his.

“Then stay here.” I insisted and Cas looked down at the ground, a small smile on his face.

“I-” His voice cut off. “I really should go.” He whispered and I stood up.

“No, man. Stay here. It’s the least I can do. I’m going to the farmer’s market in the morning and I could use some help with the breads anyway.” I mumbled the excuse and a chuckle escaped Cas’s lips.

“Of course Dean, I will stay. Get some rest now.” He raised his fingers to my temple after I buried myself in blankets. I nodded, shutting my eyes. “Goodnight Dean.”

“Night Cas.” The lights went out as soon as the tips of his fingers touched my temple.

~~~

I stretched my arms above my head, cracking my back in the process. My throat still ached from the night prior, but other than that, I felt well rested. More so than usual. I turned the alarm off on my phone.

 _Good morning Dean._ I glanced around the living room in confusion. Cas wasn’t there, but Skidder was curled up on the love seat. I pushed the blankets off of me and stretched some more.

_Mornin’ Cas. Are you hiding or something?_

_No, why would I hide? I stepped outside to watch the sunrise. You have a beautiful yard Dean._

_Uh, thanks Cas. I’m gonna shower real quick. Make yourself at home._ His response was silence, so I stepped into the bathroom. I took a quick shower and brushed my teeth, studying my forehead. There was no sign of the wound and I was grateful for that. It was better that way so people didn’t ask questions at the market.

 _Dean. I think I made a terrible mistake._ I tied the towel around my waist and practically fell out of the bathroom.

“What’s wrong Cas?” I watched him study whatever was inside the mug he was holding. A disgusted grimace was plastered on his face and he glanced up at me.

“This coffee tastes horrible.” His nose crinkled in disgust and I couldn’t help the laughter shaking my chest. I noted the clear liquid in the coffee pot and lifted the lid. The used coffee filter from last night was still in the pot. I tossed it in the trash and rinsed the pot out.

“Alright, so each time you make coffee you have to replace the filter and coffee grounds. Otherwise, you’re just reusing old stuff, which makes terrible coffee.” I put in a new filter, filled it with grounds, and poured water into the reservoir. Cas observed me closely the entire time until I hit the brew button on the coffee maker. “It’ll take a few minutes to brew, but there are more mugs in the cabinet.” I gestured to the cabinet next to the sink and hurried off to my bedroom to change.

_Thank-you Dean._

_No problem Cas._ I smiled slightly, pulling on a burgundy and navy flannel and dark denim jeans. I pulled on my boots and grabbed my leather jacket from the closet. _Hey, do you want something more comfortable to wear? My clothes should fit if you want. The market will be less formal._ Cas was suddenly next to me and I stumbled back, biting my lip before I could voice my surprise.

“Is this not proper attire? I am quite fond of these clothes.” He looked down at his trench coat, lifting the off-centered blue tie.

“It’s not bad. People just don’t wear ties to markets.” I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly, glancing at my closet. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Cas tilt his head, thinking over my words.

“What do you suggest I wear?” He questioned, locking his stare on mine. I pulled a flannel from my closet and held it up for him. He frowned slightly, shaking his head before reaching in and pulling out a dark green t-shirt. “I like this.”

“It’s January Cas. You’ll freeze.” I searched through my closet, looking for something else he could wear. I tossed a pair of jeans on the bed that were small on me and kept digging through the shirts hanging. I hadn’t worn half of them in years. I turned around, holding up a different flannel and nearly choked on my own spit. Cas was wearing the dark green shirt, jeans, and my brown leather jacket.

“Is this sufficient Dean?” He raised his arms with a shy smile. I had to snap my jaw shut and turn away quickly, coughing to clear my throat.

“Yep, it’s sufficient.” I mumbled and stole a glance over my shoulder. Cas beamed before pulling a pair of my sneakers on. He vanished again and I let out a breath that I didn’t realize I was holding. Cas looked amazing.

“Coffee?” He returned, holding two steaming mugs. I accepted one with a grateful smile and he beamed again before walking with me to the living room. After gulping down the hot liquid, I retrieved the breads from the pantry, loading them up into a bin on the island. Cas resided on one of the stools, eyes following me as he sipped his mug. I grabbed some of the potted herbs off the windowsill as well and placed them in the bin.

“Ready?” I smiled widely at him, turning to lift the bin up. He beat me to it though, a small smile on his face. “I can get that.” I insisted, but Cas vanished. My brow furrowed as I replenished Skidder’s food and stepped outside, locking the door behind me. The early morning sun did little to alleviate the bitter cold air. Cas was already standing next to the Impala, looking up at the clouds. “Show off.” I huffed, hiding my laughter as I unlocked the car. Cas chuckled, placing the bin in the backseat before taking the spot next to me. I put some Led Zeppelin on and cruised towards the market, hands bouncing on the steering wheel in time with the drums. Cas was focused on our surroundings as I drove through town.

“You have a very nice car Dean.” Cas complimented, unsure about his own words. I laughed, patting the dashboard.

“Yeah, baby and I have been through a lot together.” I mused, parking the car. Cas beat me to the bin again and carried it over to my designated table. Despite it being early January, the town insisted on holding farmers markets. I guess it encouraged a sense of community and people came to sell jams, crafts, and baked goods. It was always nice after the holidays since people make an abundance of cookies and pies. I set up the table next to Julia, a local lady who owned a greenhouse. She grew the best produce in town year-round and her table was covered in various fruits to prove it. Cas sat in the chair closest to that table, eyeing the purple cartons of blueberries. I sat next to him, thankful they supplied two chairs for my table this month. “I think they’re four dollars a carton.” I nudged his shoulder, smiling. “Here.” I handed him a crumpled five and his eyes widened.

“Dean, I cannot accept this.” He shook his head, pushing the money back into my hand.

“Just ask her for a carton Cas, it’s alright.” I laughed, shoving the money back and turning away to help the first customer of the day. I smiled politely, selling the woman two loaves of banana bread before turning back and seeing Cas smiling warmly at the carton of blueberries he just bought. “You’re suppose to eat them.” I whispered and he glanced at me, surprised. He shoveled a handful into his mouth and a moan escaped his lips. A burst of laughter escaped my own and Julia nearly fell off her chair, laughing hysterically.

“Food is wonderful Dean.” His voice was muffled by the mushed berries. His cheeks were rosy as he continued devouring the fruit until there was only juice remaining in the carton. For a guy that didn’t need to eat, he had quite the appetite. I scanned the square before getting up and maneuvering over to Julia’s stand. I placed sixteen dollars on her table and grabbed the remaining four cartons.

“We are going to need these. Thanks Jules.” She laughed, pleased with Cas’s reaction. I placed the cartons in the bin and Cas reached for them, eyes perfect circles and locked on his target. I smacked his hand, howling with laughter as his face fell. “You look like I just kicked a puppy man. You can eat some more later. I don’t need you blowing chunks because you ate enough blueberries to feed a small army.” I pulled the bin away from him and he scowled.

“That is an extreme hyperbole Dean.” He grumbled, turning away from me. I laughed again, rolling my eyes before helping a few more people pick out herbs. The breads were selling fairly quick and Cas was fully engrossed in a conversation with Julia about how to grow blueberries. She even wrote down a tutorial on her inventory notebook for him. He smiled widely, thanking her before showing me what she wrote.

“Dean, can we grow the delicious berries when we get back to your house?” He seemed so innocent, nothing like the powerful supernatural being he actually was.

“I don’t have a greenhouse Cas. We’re going to have to wait until spring to plant them. They’ll just die in the winter.” I tried explaining how different seasons affect plants and his brow furrowed. Julia swooped in to help while I finished selling the last few loaves of bread. I folded the wad of cash I earned, leaving a few bills out before slipping it into my pocket. “Come on Cas, we sold out today.” I chuckled as he stood quickly, grabbing the bin before I could. I rolled my eyes, folding the chairs up and placing them on the table to show that we finished for the day.

“Thank-you for the advice Julia. Good luck with your squirrel issue.” Cas nodded and started walking towards the Impala. I waved goodbye to Julia, dropping the bills on her table and grabbing some strawberries, before unlocking the car for him. He placed the bin in the backseat and sat down, his jaw moving slowly.

   
“You took some blueberries, didn’t you?” I narrowed my eyes at him as he forced a smile, blue pieces stuck in his teeth. A chuckle escaped me as I grabbed his wrist, forcing his hand open. Squashed berries were pressed into the creases of his palm and we laughed about it the entire ride back to my house. I beat Cas to it this time and brought the bin inside. Cas didn’t follow me in though and I stepped back outside. “Cas? Are you coming?” I questioned as he stood with his back turned to the house. His whole body was tense and he shook his head before vanishing. I frowned, walking back inside and locking the door. _Everything okay Cas?_ I put the blueberries and strawberries in the fridge and washed out the mugs from last night and this morning. Skidder greeted me and decided to sit next to me on the couch as I grabbed my recipe book from the table. I flipped through the pages, looking for the blueberry crumble recipe my mom used to make for Sam and I. I could drop some off at Jess’s parent’s place tomorrow. I think they’d all enjoy that. I could probably take Sam out for a beer or something then too. We could catch up. The silence in my head was unnerving and I frowned. _Cas? Just a yes or no answer would be nice man. Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?_ I still didn’t get a response, so I decided to clear my head by baking. That usually worked.


	7. Enter Sammy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Jerk.” Sam stepped into the house with Jess on his heels. He smiled fondly before his nose twitched. “Everything smells great man.” He pulled me in with a pat on my back and handed me a six-pack. I smiled appreciatively while Cas stepped forward. He was cautious. Sam extended his hand with a wide smile. “You must be Castiel. It’s nice that Dean found someone sane to talk with at work. I’m Sam and this is my fian-” Before Sam could finish his pleasant greeting, Cas appeared behind Jess, pressing his fingers to her temple. She collapsed into his arms, her body dead weight, as Cas lowered her gently onto the ground. Sam pulled a switchblade from his pocket and stabbed Cas in the back with it. I launched myself forward, dragging Sammy back as he yelled. “Dean! Let me go! Jess!” He shouted as Cas swiftly pulled the switchblade from his shoulder and dropped it so it clattered on the hardwood. He had a reason for whatever he was doing and I would give him my trust until he did something to betray it. Cas pressed two fingers to Sam’s temple and he slouched, falling limp in my arms as his eyes struggled to stay open. “What did you do to her?” Sam growled, wavering as I helped him onto a chair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the snow storm prevented me from leaving my house today, I figured I would post another chapter. This one is a lot longer than usual and gives a lot of background on Castiel's character in my story. The ideas surrounding it have been in my head since I started writing this story a little while ago and I finally worked through it all. I hope you enjoy and feel free to leave any comments or critiques!

**May 12th**

**Dean**

* * *

 

 

I stood in the shower, lathering my hair with shampoo and singing along to Metallica. It was an average Thursday night and I had to hit the pavement tomorrow in search of a full-time job. With my internship complete and recommendation letters acquired, I was ready to roll with a gold star on my resume. Apparently, my burger rub killed at the banquet and the head chef praised it the entire night. That really made Bela’s blood boil and man, that was satisfying. To be honest though, the normalcy of it all was suffocating. I had movie nights with Charlie throughout the rest of my internship when she wasn’t preoccupied with work or her family. Jody took us all out to a celebratory dinner at the buffet right outside of town. That place had some killer ribs and just the memory evoked a growl from my stomach. As I rinsed the shampoo off my head, I ran through the mental checklist for dinner tonight. Sam and Jess were coming over with some big news about a vacation idea. Their plane had landed yesterday evening, but her parents swarmed them before I had a chance.

The lights in the bathroom dimmed before brightening until the bulbs shattered. My entire body tensed as a loud crash from somewhere in the house signaled an intruder. The shower spat out boiling water and I launched myself from the tub, tugging on the sweatpants I left on the toilet and grabbing the gun from under the sink. I had Sam help me carve sigils into some bullets before he left for the spring semester. Anna had insisted that I kept the book Cas left on my front porch and it’s been extremely useful thus far. After carving the sigils, I hid guns around the house. You can’t be too careful. I paused by the door, my heart hammering in my chest as I held my breath. The house was silent and I slipped out the bathroom door, thankful that I greased all the hinges in the house recently. There was a gasp in the living room and I counted back from ten, waiting for any other noises. Charlie had taken Skidder back the week prior, finally settling on a beautiful ranch on the outskirts of town. I stepped out of the alcove, gun raised as my eyes scanned the living room and kitchen. The bookshelf closest to the door was collapsed, books thrown everywhere from the impact. All the lights were shattered in the living room as well and I could only use the early morning sun, peaking through the closed blinds, as a light source.

“Dean.” A voice cried out in agony, broken in tone. Panic settled in me, twisting around my heart and squeezing. I tossed the gun onto the couch, falling to my knees next to the sprawled out body on my living room floor. Blood was saturating the carpet. Shards of glass and books were scattered about, making it difficult to look over any injuries.

“Cas?” I didn’t trust my own voice to say more as he sucked in a breath, cringing. Cas pushed himself up with shaking arms and I leaned in to support his frame. He was soaked to the bone, violently shivering as I hauled him up. “Come on man.We need to get you warm.” I led him to the bathroom, doing my best to avoid the threatening shards coating the floor. It was impossible to see where he was bleeding from, his entire body covered in a thick layer of mud. His wrists had thick wire wrapped around them and I unwound it before checking the water temperature. In my haste, I had left the shower running. It had calmed down to the typical warmth I maintained it at. I pulled Cas’s trench coat off his shoulders. Anna had returned my clothes a week after Cas disappeared and besides an update saying he was okay, refused to answer my questions. Yeah, Cas looks perfectly okay right now. I freed the tie from around his neck, gently tugging his shirt off, and pulled his slacks down. He was attempting to pull away from me, resisting my help. “Work with me here. I can’t help you if you don’t get cleaned off.” I spoke through clenched teeth as he fought back, refusing to get into the tub.

“No Dean!” He shouted, trying to free himself from my grasp. A wave of power hit me and I fell backwards as things shattered in the common area of my house. Pushing those noises to the bottom of my concerns, I pushed myself off the ground. Cas’s breathing was haggard and pure terror swirled in those lovely irises. “I cannot go back in the water Dean.” Agony laced his words and I reached for his hand, squeezing it gently.

“Cas, I’ll be right here with you. We gotta get you cleaned off. I promise, five minutes, and you’ll feel better.” He closed his eyes, considering my words before giving me a small nod. At the time, I didn’t know just how much trust he had put into my words. I helped him into the tub and gently cleaned him off the best I could. Despite the oddity of the situation, his well-being was all I could focus on. I lathered up soap and scrubbed down the exposed areas of his body, identifying wounds as I went. It was like someone tied up his arms and legs, then attempted to make deep cuts to make him bleed out. After shampooing his hair, I left the water running and moved back to grab clothes from my room. His hand shot out and grabbed my wrist.

“No. Stay.” He begged and I slid my fingers down to entwine them with his before shutting the shower off. I led him to my bedroom and gave him boxers, sweatpants, and a baggy sweater from the back of my closet. It was the warmest thing I owned. I laid out a towel and gestured for him to sit before I got to work stitching up his wounds. He took each one like a champ and his stare was blank and far away. I knew that look well enough to know he wasn’t staring at the clock because he cared what time it was. He was in a safe space and I wasn’t going to disturb him until I was done. After stitching the final cut, I rubbed a cooling lotion on his wrists and bandaged all the burns. He’d still have a lot of smaller cuts exposed, but at least the bleeding stopped. I caressed his cheek gently, too afraid to reach with my mind to bring his focus back. He flinched, but didn’t yank his face away so I took that as a good sign. “You’re all sewn up. Think you can stand on your own to get changed into something warm?” He nodded as soon as the last word left my mouth. “Alright, well take all the time you need. I’m going to make us some coffee.” I gathered blankets into my arms and walked to the door. Glancing over my shoulder, I noticed Cas was back to staring off at the clock. I chewed on my lip as I left the room, dropping the blankets off on the couch before starting up the coffee maker. By the time I swept and vacuumed all of the glass up, used some of the broken wood of the bookshelf to board up the two windows that had shattered from the shower incident, picked up all of the books, and covered the saturated carpet with towels; Cas emerged cautiously from the bedroom. He was clutching one of my pillows to his chest like his life depended on it. The only positive was that all of the tiny cuts were gone, as if they never harmed his skin. He sat on the couch and I wrapped him in a few blankets, handing him his preferred mug with coffee before sitting on the love seat across from him. I made a note to pick up light bulbs and a new bookshelf from the store before Sam and Jess came over.

“I am very sorry about the destruction I caused. I was in a state of unrest and pain, making it difficult to control my energy. With the shape my body was in, I could not begin healing properly. Thank-you for your help Dean. I will fix everything I broke before leaving.” He spoke in a monotone, distant voice and I hated it.

“No.” I growled, the coffee mug thudding against the table as I clenched my fists. He seemed taken aback by my simple response, but I tried my best to swallow my anger. Because I was furious. Whoever did this to Cas was going to pay. You bet your bacon they’re going to pay. “You don’t get to crash land in my house on death’s door after disappearing for five months and not tell me what the hell happened. Who did this to you?” My jaw was tense and I tried to rein in the fury. I was mad at Cas for leaving and not checking it, but he’s a supernatural being. I didn’t have to like it, but I understood. This storm brewing now though, wasn’t directed at him so he didn’t deserve the effects of it.

“Dean-” His eyes. Those blue irises were so damn expressive. From one look, I knew he was going to avoid answering and I shut that option down quickly.

“Cut the crap Cas. Just tell me the truth or as much of it as you can.” I leaned forward, placing my elbows on my knees and he sighed, locking his stare on mine.

“Did Anna ever tell you how I died?” His question threw me a moment and I shook my head, at a loss for words. “Well, as I am sure you recall from Meg’s memory, I am half-human and half-reaper. That means that I essentially have two souls, which gives me my power. I can manipulate my human essence and use it externally as a weapon or tool so to speak. A few of the reapers were not fond of this ability. To put it simply, I was an abomination.” He paused, his stare distant again and I held my tongue, hoping he’d refocus. He pushed himself to his feet, pacing slightly. He didn’t disappoint. “Before me, my mother gave birth to quadruplets. Raphael, Michael, Gabriel, and Lucifer. They were very powerful reapers and took it upon themselves to run the afterworld when their father passed. Michael and Lucifer fought for power, killing Raphael and forcing Gabriel into hiding in the process. Michael now rules over the afterworld and Lucifer was banished from returning. He sulked until he determined he could reign over hell. They lived in harmony for a while until my mother gave birth to Anna, Samandriel, and I. I was the only one who had the essence of a reaper in me. As king of hell, Lucifer sentenced me to death. He had me tied up, cut to bleed out, and weighed down in the ocean during a summer storm. His method was quite successful in killing my human half. I still flinch when it rains.” Cas paused and locked his watery stare on mine.

I shifted in my seat, unable to form a proper sentence to comfort him. I raised my hand, fingers extended until he reached out and placed his palm in mine. His fingers wrapped around mine and whatever comfort he sought out, he must have found in my hand and in my eyes. He continued the story with a shaky breath.

“My mother found me and tried to repair my human half. It was a foolish attempt and she lost a lot of energy trying. The reaper half of me kept me alive and my human soul was trapped in the bracelet that held me to Earth. I was essentially soulless. Lucifer knew my mother was weak and took advantage of the situation. He murdered her. After my mother passed, Samandriel made a foolish mistake. He tried to make a deal with the current king of hell, who was a simple crossroads demon at the time. Through this deal, Crowley learned of my existence and murdered Samandriel, taking his soul to hell and kidnapping Anna. I had nothing left to live for on Earth or in the afterworld. My soul was gone, Michael had other things to worry about, and Gabriel was still in hiding. Crowley used me then to undermine Lucifer and take control of hell. He had Lucifer locked away and Anna killed. I managed to escape hell with Anna’s soul and she refused to leave Earth. She chose instead to exist as a spirit. It was my fault she was dead, so I was willing to do anything for her. I continued on with my duties as a reaper, bringing souls into the afterworld. That was, until I found you and you broke the chains on my soul. I still do not understand how, but your touch freed my soul and I no longer wanted to serve Michael. I returned to Anna and she insisted that Lucifer had changed. She said he sought forgiveness for his sins. He apparently promised her that he would help us retrieve Samandriel’s soul, so our hunt for him began. Anna finally found him. After the farmer’s market, her screams of terror were the only thing I could hear. They tore through my mind and I did not have time to explain the situation to you, so I left. I cannot apologize for that. Lucifer was trying to rip her soul apart, as if killing our mother and I was not enough. Michael was always fond of Anna and had stepped in before I arrived. He brought her to the afterworld to repair her soul and I was left with a furious Lucifer, who decided killing me once was not enough. I do not know how I got out of the river he threw me into. I recall the rapids swallowing my body and then waking up in a forest with my arms and legs unbound. All I knew was that I had to get somewhere safe, so I came here. I am sor-” My blood was boiling and I cut off his words. I didn’t deserve his freakin’ apology. I couldn’t even save him from reliving his death. I stood and yanked him into a hug, curling his body against my chest. He collapsed into the embrace, a soft sigh of content escaping his lips.

“Don’t you dare apologize Cas. Lucifer is going to pay for what he did. I’m going to make sure of it.” His eyes widened and before he could respond, Meg gifted us with her presence. Cas had freed himself from my grasp and stationed himself between Meg and I. That was, until he processed who she was and his body relaxed. He pushed me back gently onto the couch and proceeded to curl his body up into my lap. I wrapped my arms around him and let him tuck his head under my chin. Who was I to deny the guy comfort?

“Easy there killer. You might want to stop and think before rushing at the devil himself and getting yourself killed. I don’t think Clarence could handle that and I’m not cleaning up your mess. Celeste sent me with another vial, but didn’t tell me what it was for. I see the need for it now. Bottoms up.” She grabbed Cas’s chin and pulled his head out from under mine. She forced the purple liquid down his throat before he could protest. “She says you can thank her later. Just keep a leash on your pet. We can’t face Lucifer just yet.” She kissed his cheek and vanished. It was very out of character for her. Cas coughed violently, his body shaking as he wiggled in my grasp. I rubbed his back soothingly and the stitches slowly faded, the bruises ceasing to exist.

“Celeste is the great healer of the afterworld. She was my mother’s sister. Her power is limited though and I try to avoid her discovering my injuries. I suppose Meg heard from Anna though and saw to it that Celeste was aware of the situation.” Cas explained without prompting and my brow furrowed. “Is something wrong Dean?” His head tilted, eyes narrowing and my heart warmed. Minutes before, he looked like he was hardly hanging on and I didn’t want to think about the possibility of losing my angel.

“You are just very open now.” I rubbed the back of my neck and looked away.

“I trust you Dean. You deserve to know what you are walking into if you allow me to stay.” He smiled softly and returned his head to the space under my chin, wrapping his arms around my frame.

“You want to stay?” I was floored and my heart stammered.

“If you will have me, I would like to stay. I could use the assistance with finding Gabriel. I believe that he is our only hope of stopping Lucifer from raiding hell again. Not that I am fond of Crowley, but he respects the balance while Lucifer wants all of the souls and the power that comes with them. “ Cas’s eyes darkened briefly before he spoke again. He hugged me tighter for a moment before sliding off my lap onto the cushion next to me. “I would also like to assist you in finding what killed your mother. I know your father was looking before he passed and Meg thinks she might have a lead.” He continued.

“What?” My head ached from all of the information thrown at me in the span of a few hours and I was going to implode.

“Lucifer held me captive for months while deciding what to do with me. Meg was able to sneak in and I asked her to look after you and Sam. In doing so, she looked into your past and recognized your father. She thinks she knows a demon with information. That is, only if you would like to pursue it. I can request that she leaves it alone.” He explained calmly, but I noted the small twitch in his hands that stuck around even after his wounds closed. The potion didn’t work for mental harm.

“Can I talk to Sammy first?” I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth, chewing it.

“Of course Dean. To my knowledge, Meg has a tracker spell on the demon and he will not get far.” He nodded, before turning to stare at the soaked towel, stained red from his blood. I had to take care of that before Sam and Jess got here. Since I was up at the crack of dawn, it was only mid-afternoon and I still had plenty of time to work on the house and get dinner going. I text Sam, asking him to bring light bulbs and he agreed, no questions asked. He’d ask when he got here. I stood, holding out my hand for Cas to take. He glanced at me, curious. I didn’t handle chick flick moments well and I sucked at comforting people. One thing I mastered in my youth though, is the art of distraction. With Cas no longer at risk physically, I figured I could use my natural gift.

“Come on. If you’re going to be staying here, I’m teaching you how to cook.” The wide smile that broke out on his face was worth it. It was worth everything. I showed Cas all of the different utensils in my kitchen, explaining the purpose of each and then telling him about the dinner I had to make for tonight. I set him up at the island, cutting and rinsing the chicken while I cleaned up the mess that was my living room. The window would have to stay boarded up for now, but I reinforced the wood and sprayed around the edges to keep bugs out. I studied the carpet, frowning before deciding to call Jody.

“Sheriff Mills.” She must’ve ignored caller ID again.

“Hey Jody. It’s Dean.” Cas looked away from the chicken, studying me as I paced around the kitchen.

“Dean! Aren’t Sam and Jess coming by tonight? Are you guys working a case?” Her voice was cheerful, yet concerned. I rubbed my neck guiltily. I guess I didn’t really call her at work unless I needed help with a case. We lucked out with the Sheriff, since she believed in the supernatural. She was good friends with Bobby too.

“Yeah, they still are. We don’t have a case, no. I was just wondering if you knew how to get blood stains out of the carpet?” I didn’t have a better way to word that question.

“Fresh or dried?” She asked and I glanced under the towel. Some had dried, but most was still soaking into the blue fuzz of the carpet.

“Both?” I frowned and she sighed.

“Dean, I’m coming over.” She sounded determined and my eyes locked on Cas.

“No, Jody. Everything’s fine. I just cut myself when I was slicing up chicken. I didn’t realize I left a trail when I went to get the stitches.” I lied through my teeth and I frowned sourly. I hated lying to Jody, but I didn’t need the sheriff drawing attention to my house or to Cas.

“Fine, Dean. Just take hydrogen peroxide and pour it over the stain. It’ll crackle while it reacts. When it’s done, blot it with paper towels. Just keep repeating the method and you should be good to go. Are you sure you’re okay?” Her words were soaked with concern and I huffed.

“No worries Jody, I’m just a bit clumsy today. Thanks for your help. I’ll call you again soon.” I assured her.

“You better Dean. Next time call to ask me how my day’s going.” She laughed before ending the call. I huffed a laugh and got to work cleaning the stain. After telling Cas no multiple times and using two entire bottles of hydrogen peroxide, the carpet was back to the familiar blue shade and I sighed in relief. With that taken care of, I got to work on dinner. Cas kept peeking over my shoulders, watching me blend spices together, season the freshly grilled chicken, chop up broccoli, and make the cheese sauce. I explained the process of each step and he seemed fully focused on me.

“Sam and Jess prefer rabbit food, but I like to add my own unhealthy spin on it.” I gestured to the cheese sauce, winking over my shoulder. Cas’s eyes crinkled as he smiled, a chuckle escaping his lips. I beamed and encouraged him to try some. He was hesitant, but swiped some off the spoon with his finger. He stuck his finger in his mouth and his eyes widened.

“Dean, that is very delicious. May I try more?” He reached over again and I swatted his hand away.

“You can have some with dinner.” I laughed, “So, when Sam gets here, just go easy on the whole reaper thing.” I tried to tread lightly on the subject, but Cas seemed utterly confused with his head tilting again. “Dark souls are one thing. We can gank them and defend ourselves. Reapers, I am still trying to wrap my head around your existence.” I explained and he seemed even more confused now.

“Dean, I assure you that I exist.”

“I know you do Cas.” I chuckled, rubbing my hand down my face. “Sammy isn’t going to take it well because we don’t know how to protect ourselves against your kind.”

“I will protect the three of you if anything happens.” He frowned.

“I know that, but he doesn’t know you like I do. Just, lay low until I can warm him up to it.” I insisted, feeling guilty. I hated doing this to Cas. He didn’t deserve to be treated like a scandal.

“I suppose you could tell him that I am a friend from work. Humans tend to lie to protect those they care about. He can get to know me before finding out what I am.” He suggested, thoughtful.

“Yeah, okay. I can manage that. Let me text him with a heads up. Mind stirring the sauce?” He nodded sternly, awkwardly grasping the spoon with a determined look on his face. I chuckled, stepping away to message Sam until he approved the addition of a dinner guest. I let Cas finish off the sauce before directing him on how to set the table. He wasn’t a natural, but the guy picked up on things quickly. “Bitch!” I called as the front door opened.

“Jerk.” Sam stepped into the house with Jess on his heels. He smiled fondly before his nose twitched. “Everything smells great man.” He pulled me in with a pat on my back and handed me a six-pack. I smiled appreciatively while Cas stepped forward. He was cautious. Sam extended his hand with a wide smile. “You must be Castiel. It’s nice that Dean found someone sane to talk with at work. I’m Sam and this is my fian-” Before Sam could finish his pleasant greeting, Cas appeared behind Jess, pressing his fingers to her temple. She collapsed into his arms, her body dead weight, as Cas lowered her gently onto the ground. Sam pulled a switchblade from his pocket and stabbed Cas in the back with it. I launched myself forward, dragging Sammy back as he yelled. “Dean! Let me go! Jess!” He shouted as Cas swiftly pulled the switchblade from his shoulder and dropped it so it clattered on the hardwood. He had a reason for whatever he was doing and I would give him my trust until he did something to betray it. Cas pressed two fingers to Sam’s temple and he slouched, falling limp in my arms as his eyes struggled to stay open. “What did you do to her?” Sam growled, wavering as I helped him onto a chair.

 _May I explain to him? I am afraid the cat has hit the fan._ I coughed to hide my laughter, noting the inappropriate time for that.

_Dude, it’s “the cat is out of the bag” or “shit hit the fan”. Just explain yourself before Sammy stabs you again._

_His blade cannot harm me Dean._ A gentle warmth brushed my cheek. A warmth that was entirely Cas and I basked in it before he spoke.

“Sam, I extracted life energy from Jess to lull her body into a deep sleep so I can extract the dark soul inhabiting her body. I did not wish to harm her soul in the process. I also took a bit of energy from your body to tire you out. I assure you that I will bring no harm to her. There are wardings on the property, hiding me from outsiders. With her inside the house, she would have been able to identify me had I not acted immediately.” He explained calmly, his gaze locked on Sam’s before sliding to me. _Can you retrieve sage from the garden on your back patio?_

I nodded and left Sam for a moment to get it for him. I handed Cas the sage and he smiled gently.

“Dean, what are you doing? Jess isn’t possessed! She has the anti possession necklace.” Sam cried out, struggling to haul himself off of the chair. I placed a hand on his shoulder, holding him down.

“There is no such necklace around her neck.” Cas responded and crushed the sage between his palms. His hands glowed as he whispered words in a language I couldn’t understand.

“Dean, stop him.” Sam begged weakly, his words heavy with exhaustion.

“Sammy, I swear to you. Cas is not the enemy here.” I fell silent as black smoke escaped Jess’s mouth. Cas palmed it, pushing it between his hands until it crackled into nothing more than dust particles.

“She will wake in a few minutes. Dean, is there anyone else close to you that is unprotected?” Cas studied my worried gaze.

“Charlie-” I whispered, but paused. I couldn’t help being hesitant.

_Dean, I can explain when I return. I wish to check on your friends and give them protection. Their memories will be wiped after, I promise._

I nodded, relaying their addresses of Charlie, Jody, Benny, and even Bela to Cas. His warmth brushed my cheek again before he vanished. Sam shoved himself up, staggering over to lift Jess off of the floor. I helped him place her on the couch before Sam gently brushed the hair from her face. He turned to focus a famous bitch-face on me and I sighed.

“Dean. What the hell is Castiel?” He growled and I looked away.

“He’s a reaper. Remember in the hospital, when I asked you about angels?” I tried to form the best explanation in my head first, but I was out of my element here. He nodded, waiting for me to continue. “The angel I was referring to was Cas. He saved my life, brought me back from the dead that day and back when dad died. He’s been watching over me ever since that accident and I trust him one hundred percent Sammy. So when he gets back, be decent and thank the guy before you drown him in questions. He nearly died this morning and doesn’t need to deal with your shit all night.” I growled, ready to fire back if Sam tried to challenge me. All the anger rushed out of me though as a calming wave of warmth washed over me and Cas appeared on the couch with a hand on my shoulder.

“Your friends are safe and protected.” He assured me, before handing me Jess’s necklace. I tossed it at Sam and he took a shaky breath, clasping it back around her neck. He looked defeated, his shoulders slumping. Cas coughed violently, his body shaking. When he removed his hand from his mouth, it was stained red and my heart lurched. _I am okay Dean. I can sense your panic again. Removing the demon without harming Jess, removing life energy, killing another few demons, protecting your friends, and wiping their memories took a lot of my power. I am weakened right now and my body is reacting naturally. I just need to rest before I answer Sam’s questions. May I place my head on your shoulder?_

 _You don’t have to ask._ Cas smiled and his eyes fluttered shut as his body went slack with his head on my shoulder. His arms snaked around my own and his warmth blanketed my body. Sam’s eyes widened as he studied us. “Sammy, give the guy a break. Everything he just did took a lot out of him. Like I said, he almost died this morning.” I explained, relaxing under the radiating warmth.

“Did he just talk to you somehow?” He narrowed his eyes, wheels turning in that too smart for his own good brain of his.

“Yeah, he can reach out and talk in my mind. He made some kind of connection with me so I can respond to him.” I shrugged with my free shoulder and Cas snuggled closer. If Sammy wasn’t sitting there with a different bitch-face, I would have pulled Cas onto my lap. The guy deserved the comfort.

“How do you know he hasn’t brainwashed you or filtered your memories? Do you even know what he’s capable of?” Sam was trying to be the voice of reason but it was pissing me off.

“The guy’s capable of amazing things Sammy. Did you forget already that he brought me back from the dead twice already? He’s told me a lot Sam, more than I’ve shared with him. So get off your high horse and let the guy explain himself.” I retorted as Jess stirred on the couch. Before Sam could react, she shot up. Her stare was bewildered and she locked it on Cas. His eyes cracked open as he studied her.

“You. Explain, now. Don’t you dare hold anything back. I want to know what the heck was inside of me and why it wanted me to kill Dean.” She demanded, eyes narrowing at us until Cas separated from me. He kept warmth resting on my shoulder and let it spread over like a blanket. I expressed my gratitude in his mind and if he felt it, he didn’t respond because he was focused on Jess. Much to Sam’s disliking and my discomfort, Cas started from the beginning and told them both his story.


	8. Burgers, Mojitos, and Mates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why didn't you tell me you have a mate?” I regretted the question as soon as the words left my lips. The warmth snapped back away from me like a rubber band. His eyes darkened as he shoved the blankets to the floor, holding himself tall. The lights started brightening, the radio of my alarm clock screeching. I pushed myself forward, grabbing his shoulders as I attempted to meet his distant stare.  
> “Hey man, no exploding light bulbs tonight, alright? It's okay, honest. You can let her inside if you want.” I tried to calm him down, but his hands shot up and shoved my hands down. Despite my irritation, I didn't want to upset him like this.  
> “She is not coming in here. Do not go outside.” His eyes were glowing and if I squinted, his veins were too. It was as if lightning was shooting through his body, his being radiating power. He vanished and a string of curses escaped my lips. I pushed through the backdoor to find Cas and April staring each other down. A look of fury on Castiel’s beautiful features and a taunting smirk on April’s lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry for the delay! I had planned to have this chapter posted earlier in the week, but had to postpone due to spending the week traveling. I was visiting/ interviewing at graduate schools in other states and I just moved back into my house at school today. I finally finished unpacking though, so I had time to edit this chapter! Enjoy and please feel free to leave comments/ critiques! I plan to post another chapter tomorrow before my classes start on Tuesday, so stay tuned!

**May 19th**

**Dean**

* * *

 

Dinner was tense, to say the least. After Cas had explained everything Sam had worked to keep secret from Jess, he proceeded to give them a less detailed rendition of his past. Jess had placed her hand on his forearm, her gaze apologetic. She handled all of it a lot better than Sam, who was aggressively sawing through the chicken throughout the entire conversation. He had locked eyes with me and I had given him an eye roll. I knew that look. He had wanted to know how I knew Cas wasn't lying. That memory flickered into my mind.

_ I tore my gaze from him and glanced at Cas's watery eyes. He already had to relive his past three times that day, yet he still smiled softly at me before turning back to Jess and answering her questions all evening. Sam took a breath, pushing his plate away and placing his elbows on the table. It was his typical business posture and I wasn't entertaining that tonight.  _

_ "Man it's getting late. Are you guys heading back to Jess's parents place or visiting Jody?" I had pushed my chair back, grabbing my plate and Sam's.  _ _   
_

_ "Yeah, I think we were going to swing by Jody's. She has a guest room and we were going to go fishing with her in the morning. He's right, we should get going Sam." Jess smiled gently, thanking Cas before standing to help me clear the table.  _ _   
_

_ "Actually, Jess. I was thinking we could stay here tonight and keep Dean company. He has two couches." Sam insisted and the bitch-face Jess gave him rivaled his own. He flinched back and Cas looked at me with wide eyes.  _ _   
_

_ "Nope. We are going now. You can ask Cas questions later, I'm sure he will be around for a while?" She glanced at me and then Cas. The man in question gave me a shy look before nodding with a small smile. Jess turned her knowing smirk on me and I had scratched the back of my neck. "Thank-you for dinner Dean, it was delicious. We will see you at your barbecue this weekend. Will Cas be joining us?" She looked over her shoulder at Cas who was attempting to scrape his plate into the trash can.  _ _   
_

_ "Anytime Jess. You know you guys are always welcomed. He will be here if he wants to be." I glanced at Sam who was hovering near Cas. Jess nodded before strolling over to retrieve Sam.  _ _   
_

_ "Come on. We don't want to keep Jody waiting." She grabbed his hand and pulled him to the door.  _ _   
_

_ "Bye bitch." Sam called from the door and my entire body relaxed. The simple sentiment let me know that despite being at odds over this, we were okay.  _

__   
_ "Later jerk." I responded and he huffed a chuckle before shutting the door behind them.  _ __   


_ "I am very sorry Dean. I did not know my presence would cause so much trouble." Cas stood in front of the sink, plate still in his hands. I gently grabbed it from him and dropped it into the sink before wrapping him in my arms. He had clung to me like his life depended on it, listening to my soothing words before settling on the couch with nearly every blanket I owned.  _

Turns out, Cas wanted to be here for the barbecue. He had been helping me prepare for it all week while I worked shifts at the Roadhouse. Apparently, Ellen could still pull a few strings and the head chef just happened to quit to start a family with his new wife. It worked in my favor and Cas had been a huge help all week. I had just finished my last shift of the week, the persistent odor of burgers and beer clinging to my clothing. Dull pain stretched through my back and my feet were aching. I was twenty-three going on eighty-three. Pushing the door open, I stumbled through the entrance way and collapsed onto the couch. 

“Hello Dean.” As if I tripped a sensor, Cas appeared next to me, a small smile on his chapped lips. He was wearing one of my AC/DC t-shirts over his black slacks and his hair maintained its typical tousle. The man was gorgeous, without even trying. Rather than respond to his greeting, I sat there staring at him with an adoring grin on my face. Yep, I had it bad. “May I?” Two fingers hovered above my forehead and I nodded, intrigued. The pain dissipated the moment his fingers brushed my forehead. A moan escaped my lips and my entire body relaxed into his side. 

“Your fingers-” the words left my mouth and I had no intention of putting a filter in place, “-are magic.”

“They simply channel my life energy to the target I designate. It's just biology Dean.” His head quirked to the side as his eyes narrowed. 

“Shhhh. No one likes a non-believer.” I placed my finger to his lips, my body not even holding itself up anymore. Cas narrowed his eyes further, which I didn't think was possible. Man, I was wrong. 

“Dean, I highly doubt I qualify as this ‘non-believer’ given the circumstances.” And damn, he used his fingers to make physical air quotes. Times like this, Cas didn't seem like the powerful, supernatural being that he actually was. He was adorable. 

“So, I'm going to nap a bit and then we can start prepping for the barbecue when the sun rises. Sound good?” I clapped my hands together, noting the time and stifling a groan. Two in the morning. 

“Dean, just sleep. There will be plenty of time if you wake by ten.”

“Nah, I just need my four hours. Are you going to be okay for a bit?” I pulled myself off of him with more reluctance than necessary.

“May I lay with you?” And those words floored me. With wide eyes, I stared silently at his innocent gaze. His eyes were wide and curious. “I'm a bit sleepy too.” He added, for good measure.

“I could just sleep out here, if you wanted the bed.” I glanced at the couch and then at the alcove. He stepped back into my line of vision and shook his head.

“No. I'd like to lay with you. If you would rather not, I understand.” His eyes fell to stare at the ground. 

“Come on.” I mumbled, grabbing his hand and pulling him to my bedroom. “Make yourself comfortable, I'm going to shower so I don't smell like grease and booze.” So I showered, singing a few songs to distract myself from the lovely angel laying in my bed. I shivered, drying myself off and pulling on sweatpants. Stepping into my room, I noticed Cas sitting on the edge of the bed, eyes shut. “Whatcha doing?”

“Resting.” He didn't even flinch as he responded with his eyes shut tight. 

“Lay down, you dork.” I pulled the covers up, patting the spot next to me. It was a king sized bed, so there was plenty of room for us. 

“Are you sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable.” He frowned, brow furrowing. I grabbed his hand and pulled him back to lay on the bed. I buried myself under blankets and turned on my side, my face pressed into the pillow. 

“Nighty night.”

“Goodnight Dean.”

* * *

**Morning**   


Of course I awoke to a tangle of limbs and Cas’s mouth blowing tiny puffs of air onto my chin. The aroma of honey and fresh rain filled my nostrils and it was the most pleasant smell to ever touch my nose. His head was resting on my chest and he cuddled in closer, absorbing my body heat. This angel was going to be the death of me. Here this all powerful, supernatural being decided I was worthy of his companionship. That I was worth throwing his life away. I was determined to make it up to him. He didn't throw away the life he knew for nothing. He was powerful, protective, terrifying, kind, sarcastic, and honest. I would stay with him for as long as he wanted me. I was screwed. 

“Hello Dean.” His sleep-rough voice greeted me and I wrapped my arms around him. He snuggled closer, peeking up at me with his bright blue orbs. 

“Morning Sunshine.” I smiled and he returned the expression. “Guess we have to actually get up and be productive. You hungry? I think I have stuff to make blueberry waffles.” And that caught his full attention, his eyes round with wonder. “Come on.” I pushed us both up and climbed out of bed, stretching my limbs before wandering into the kitchen. By the time I turned the coffee maker on, Cas was perched in one of the bar stools, his chin held in his hands with his elbows on the island. I whipped up the waffles and handed Cas a bowl of blueberries while they cooked. He demolished those before the first waffle was done and laughter shook my core. There were some startling moans from that man’s lips as he ate and I almost had to wipe drool off of my chin. After breakfast, I cleaned while Cas showered. He emerged from the bathroom as I finished wrapping up the watermelon slices and placing them in the fridge. I had picked fresh mint to make mojitos and taught Cas how to make them, filling pitchers with different flavored mojitos and storing them in the fridge. I grabbed the ground beef and mixed herbs, making the burger patties while Cas observed. By the time I finished making the vegetable kebabs and salads, the doorbell rang. Cas jumped off the stool and answered the door, a welcoming smile on his face. Meanwhile, I was elbow deep in macaroni salad. 

“Hello young lady.” He beamed at the person on the other side of the door. 

“Hi! You're really pretty. What's your name? I'm Lily and this is my twin sister Tay!” Lily’s voice echoed through the house as her sister giggled beside her. 

“Well thank-you! Though, you girls are more beautiful than I am. My name is Castiel, it is a pleasure to meet you.” He knelt down, holding his hand to shake both of theirs. 

“Casteel?” Tay attempted and I couldn't help the laughter escaping me. 

“You girls can just call me Cas, if that is easier. That is the name Dean gave me.” He spoke proudly, a small smile on his lips as he stood up. Now that warmed my heart. 

“Uncle Dean!” Lily bolted through the door and I quickly wiped my hands off and caught her mid-jump, swinging her around. 

“Hey Lil’” I kissed her cheek and she giggled, hugging me tightly. I placed her down to find Tay waiting for her turn. “Hey T! Up you go!” I swung her as well, placing a wet kiss on her cheek before placing her next to her twin. 

“Is Cas your friend Uncle Dean?” Lily was buzzing with energy. Charlie probably gave the girls soda when Dorothy wasn't looking again. Speaking of the devil, she strolled in with Dorothy on her arm, greeting Cas with animated gestures before throwing her arms around him. He didn't seem to mind her over-affectionate tendencies. 

“Yeah, he's a very good friend.” 

“Is he your boyfriend?” Tay spoke softly, eyes wide as she stared up at me. I bent down to their level, gesturing for them to come closer. 

“Can you girls keep a secret?” I whispered and they both nodded, leaning closer. “He isn't yet, but I sure hope he will be.” And they squealed, jumping up and down. 

“Good luck Uncle Dean.” Tay hugged me again before the girls ran off, each one grabbing one of Cas’s hands.

“Cas! Cas! Will you play dolls with us? Mommy said not to bother Uncle Dean when he's cooking! Pleaseeee?” Lily pulled him forward, skipping while Tay grabbed the duffel bag from Charlie. Cas’s stare was bewildered, but he nodded.

“I would be honored.” And boy did that brighten the twins’ smiles. While they set up the dolls and taught Cas how to play, Charlie and Dorothy cornered me in the kitchen. 

“He seems wonderful Dean. How'd you meet him?” Charlie always cut right to the chase, while Dorothy greeted me with a hug before dropping onto one of the stools. 

“I met him at the hospital. He came to visit the wrong room and we just got to talking.” I explained what Cas had suggested earlier in the week. It was a good cover story and I had called Sam to make sure him and Jess knew it as well. 

“Well he’s absolutely gorgeous Dean! Can we have more details?” Charlie pushed, but I silenced her with a hug as Sam burst through the door, Jess and Benny in tow. Sam eyed Cas tentatively before striding over to greet Charlie and Dorothy. 

“Uncle Sam! Aunt Jess! Come meet Cas! He's playing dolls with us!” Lily dragged both of them over as Benny chuckled.

“Hey brother! I brought your favorite.” He lifted his blueberry pie and my mouth watered just looking at it. The guy was a pie baking fiend and I requested blueberry this year for a certain someone. Cas was going to be floored. After he placed the pie and a case of beer on the counter, he got talking with Charlie and Dorothy. He hadn't seen them since last summer’s barbecue so they had a lot of catching up to do. Bela arrived after that, Jody not far behind. Soon the house was buzzing with energy and laughter. I ushered everyone outside as I started up the grill. Cas was being dragged around by the twins, as they took it upon themselves to introduce him to everyone. As I worked on the burgers, Sam and Jess brought out all of the salads and drinks. 

“So he's still here.” Sam stated, his words lacking emotion. I narrowed my eyes at him.

“I told you he wasn't going anywhere.” I pointed the spatula at him and he frowned.

“Dean-”

“I don't want to hear it Sammy. I care about the guy, okay? And I think he cares about me so just lay off and trust my instincts. They've saved your bacon in the past.” I focused my attention back on the burger and he sighed, rubbing his face with his hand. 

“What, are you in love with him or something? Dean, you hardly know what he's capable of! He's worse than a dark soul.”  He growled under his breath, not wanting to draw attention to us. 

“No Sam, but I really like him. And it's none of your business anyway. He's basically my guardian angel, so get over it.” I argued, placing cheese on a few of the burgers. 

“You actually have a thing for him.” He gasped, eyes wide. “Do you know how messed up that is Dean?” The surprise wore off fast and anger quickly replaced it. I huffed, loud enough to acknowledge his words. I knew it was messed up. I didn't need my little brother telling me that. It's not like I could help it though. It wasn't a choice. 

“Whoa, you must be the younger Winchester. Am I interrupting?” I knew that voice. I turned and clenched my jaw, glaring at Meg. She stood in a sundress, smirking at Sam. “Meg Masters, nice to meet you.” She held out her hand and Sam shook it.

“Sam Winchester. Who are you exactly?” He was suspicious, his body tense. His senses were rusty, but still there.

“I'm a good friend of Castiel’s.” Her eyes flicked to the empty pits for a second before flicking back. Sam pulled the knife from his back pocket and I grabbed his wrist, twisting it until he dropped it. His eyes held betrayal and he stormed off into the house. I piled the finished burgers on a plate, calling for everyone to dig in. 

“Cas is with my nieces. Touch them or even look at them the wrong way and I'll skin you alive before sending you back to the pits of hell.” I snapped at her and she saluted me before I stomped off after Sammy. As soon as the door slammed shut, Sam pounced. 

“Really Dean? Your buddy-buddy with a dark soul now? Do you remember Ruby? Because I sure do!” He shouted and that set me off. 

“First off, Ruby was your mistake, not mine! I didn't trust the bitch and it's not my fault you chose to ignore me! Second, Cas is one of my best friends! I don't care if you don't trust him! You're not treating him like a monster in my house. Third, Meg is his friend! I don't trust her either, but she showed me how they met and she is working against Crowley, who happens to be the freakin’ king of hell! She knows the demon that killed Mom. We can end this Sammy.” I let everything pour from my mouth, tired of holding shit back. If Sam wanted to give me a bitch-face and not talk to me for weeks, so be it. His jaw hung open and I sensed someone behind me. I hadn't heard the door open. Cas stood, awkwardly holding three plates with burgers on them, salad and a vegetable kebab on one, macaroni salad and pasta salad on the other two. 

“Is what he saying true?” Sam locked his eyes on Cas. Cas, of course, nodded. He placed one plate on the counter before handing me one with macaroni salad on it and the vegetable one to Sam. Sammy was taken aback for a moment, nodding in thanks.

_ Thanks Cas.  _

_ Of course Dean. I just thought you both would be hungry and your friends are ravenous. They really do not let food go to waste.  _ Warmth accompanied his words and I smiled, biting my tongue to withhold a chuckle. “Yes Sam, it is true. Dean is the best friend I have ever had in my entire existence besides my sister. I would never hurt him. I am wanted by the higher council in the afterlife, but I take precautions and if it put Dean in danger, I would leave. As for Meg, she is a friend. We have been through a lot together and she does know the demon who killed your mother. She is also against Crowley, the king of hell. I feel that she would be a good ally to have, if you intend to ever face the king or Azazel.” 

“Azazel?” I questioned. Sam was too busy processing his words to respond. While I was smiling like an idiot, I still paid attention to his entire statement. 

“He is the yellow-eyed demon who killed your mother. I do not know very much about him, but he was good friends with Alastair. He works with a white-eyed demon, Lilith. She is very powerful and can only be killed with enchanted weapons. She is the original demon and despises Crowley. Though her and Azazel are focused on overthrowing the king, Crowley is the lesser evil. If you wish to know more, Meg can inform you of their history and their current location and motives.” Castiel explained, glancing between Sam and I. 

“I'm going to talk to Meg after checking on Jess.” He eyed Cas one more time before slipping pass us and out the door, 

“I am very sorry Dean. Meg came to tell me that one of my sigils was fading. She has been keeping watch on the afterlife for me. I can leave with her, if that will make it easier. I do not like causing tension between you and Sam.” He frowned, looking down at his shoes. I put the plate on the counter and stepped forward to cup his cheek.

“You really need to stop apologizing for my idiot brother’s prejudices. I don't know about Meg, but he just needs some time to warm up to you and what you are. If I didn't experience everything first hand, I'd have a hard time believing it too.”

“You are very wise Dean.” 

“Shut your cakehole.” I snapped playfully, a smile on my face. He chuckled, before pulling his cheek away so he could slip his arms around me. I pulled him close, holding him until I noticed the sunset in the back window. “Have you ever made a s’more before?” His head tilted after he released me. “I'll take that as a no. Come on, finish your plate and I'll get the fire going!” I scarfed down my food, causing Cas to laugh as he calmly ate his. When we finished, I started the fire. Jess, Charlie, and Jody were playing with the twins. Benny, Bela, and Dorothy were waiting around the fire pit chatting. Meg and Sam were deep in conversation by the now cool grill. Cas stepped away to join them and I brought the dessert out, tossing the s’mores stuff by the fire. Sam eventually had enough and he stepped in front of me. 

“Meg gave me some information. I still don't trust either of them, but I'm going to look into it.” That was all he said before he went to join Jess. I would take it for now. When I glanced back over, Meg was long gone and Cas was eyeing the pie curiously. 

_ It's blueberry.  _ His eyes brightened, his tongue slipping over his lips before he bombarded me for dessert. I cut him a large slice before offering everyone else dessert. The night progressed without incident, everyone laughing. I pressed melted marshmallow to Cas’s nose which caused Tay and Lily to fall off their bench, laughing so hard as Cas attempted to lick it off. I eventually gave in and wiped it off for him with a smile before he smooshed melted marshmallow on my forehead. Yeah, I deserved that, but now it's war. That's how the melted marshmallow war started. It quickly ended though, when Bela’s high-pitch scream caused everyone to freeze. Apparently she didn’t enjoy marshmallow in her hair, who knew? Cas escaped to get a drink, proceeding to drink an entire pitcher of blackberry mojito by himself and multiple beers. He was swaying as he plopped down next to me. He laid his head on my shoulder, unphased by Charlie’s smirk and Sam’s overprotective stare. Eventually everyone cleared out, the twins already asleep. I left Cas by the fire to help Charlie and Dorothy carry the girls to the car. After saying goodbyes, Tay reached out and grabbed my hand. 

“Uncle Dean?” 

“Yeah kiddo?” She was yawning, rubbing her eyes with her free hand. 

“You should tell Cas that you think he is beautiful. Then you should ask him on a date like Mommy does for Mom. Get him flowers too. Lily and I like him lots.” She insisted, an adorable smile on her face. 

“Alright kiddo, I will. Nighty night T.” I kissed her forehead and shut the car door. After they left, Jody soon followed. She was kind enough to drive Drunk 1 and Drunk 2 (Benny and Bela) home. Cas was fast asleep on the bench when I returned to the fire, his trench coat draped over him. 

“He looked cold and I found the coat on your couch. I hope he doesn't mind.” Jess stated quietly from behind me. Her and Sam had helped me clean the backyard up, putting all the food away and putting out the fire. 

“I'm sure he will greatly appreciate it. Thanks Jess.” She hugged me tightly. 

“I may not have a history with this stuff and I love and trust Sam more than anything, but I think he's wrong Dean. Castiel is lovely, human or not. He was great with the girls and though awkward, friendly with everyone. Don't lose him because your brother doesn't see him in the same light, okay?” She spoke honestly, a bright smile on her face. I pulled her in for another hug, whispering a thank-you to her before Sam stumbled over. 

“Have a safe ride home, yah moose. Let me know if you find anything about Azazel.” I gave him a quick hug and he nodded. 

“Be careful Dean.” That was all he said before following Jess back through the house and out to their car. A sigh escaped my lips and Cas’s head poked up from the bench. 

“Dean?” His voice was weak and heavy with sleep. I helped him up, leading him to my room and dropping him onto the bed. He protested, words slurring as he mumbled about a shower. 

“I'll wash the sheets tomorrow and you can shower when you wake up. Campfire isn't the worst smell in the world.” I insisted, pulling off my shirt and burying myself in blankets. Cas immediately clung to me like a spider monkey, our limbs entangling. I smiled into his mess of raven hair as he sighed contently. “Night Cas.” I kissed the top of his head and he mumbled something back before soft snores were the only sound in the room.  My insomnia decided to visit tonight, so I laid awake for a while and continuously ran my hand through Cas’s hair. A few hours into the night, a voice startled me. 

“Castiel.” It was haunting and beautiful. Definitely feminine and coming from the backyard. I untangled my limbs, despite Cas’s sleepy protests. Even though it wasn't my name, I was drawn to the voice and I slipped out of bed. I stepped out onto the patio, my eyes falling on a beautiful woman with auburn hair, standing next to the now lit fire. Before walking out further, I studied her. She seemed human, but I could feel power radiating from her. I decided to stay within the bounds of the sigils, safe on the patio.

“You are not Castiel mortal. Where is he?” Her voice was even more daunting and angelic outside. 

“He's a bit preoccupied so I'm the best you're going to get right now. What are you?” Meaning, he was drunkenly passed out and didn't need to be disturbed right now.

“That is none of your concern. I came here for Castiel and him only.” She retorted, looking away. She seemed uninterested now.

“Then get the hell out of my yard. I'll tell him you came by.” I turned to walk inside, grumpy from lack of sleep and irritated at the situation.

“This is your abode? It is most charming. May I come in?” Her interest was peaked now and I scowled at her.

“Yeah, I don't think so. Not until you tell me who you are and what you want.” I snapped back, narrowing my eyes.

“Castiel does not require a monkey’s protection.” She growled, fury swimming in her eyes. She had a temper similar to Cas’s and it was much more unsettling with her. 

“It's more for my own protection since Cas is pretty strong on his own. I have his back though and for that reason, you aren't coming inside.” I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest as if that made me more threatening.

“I wish you no harm. Not unless you have harmed Castiel. Just scrape away one of the sigils and I can come inside.” She insisted, the fury muted and replaced with concern. This chick was good, but I still saw right through her. 

“Want to tell me who you are first?” I wasn't budging, but I might as well get information to relay to Cas.

“I am April, Castiel’s mate.” Now that was a sucker punch to the gut. Any retort or quip I could make exited my mind along with any hope of being anything more to Castiel. Irritation creeped in and made a home in my mind so that's what I rolled with. I turned inside without a word and went to wake Castiel from his slumber.

“Dean?” A muffled voice questioned as Cas poked his face out from under the comforter. His hair was chaotic, his eyes droopy as he yawned. 

“Hey Cas. We have company.” I whispered, leaning against the door frame as I admired his groggy stare. Instantaneously, he jolted upright, eyes wide. He must have sensed my uneasiness and irritation in that moment because warmth wrapped around me, embracing my tense form. 

“Why didn't you tell me you have a mate?” I regretted the question as soon as the words left my lips. The warmth snapped back away from me like a rubber band. His eyes darkened as he shoved the blankets to the floor, holding himself tall. The lights started brightening, the radio of my alarm clock screeching. I pushed myself forward, grabbing his shoulders as I attempted to meet his distant stare.

“Hey man, no exploding light bulbs tonight, alright? It's okay, honest. You can let her inside if you want.” I tried to calm him down, but his hands shot up and shoved my hands down. Despite my irritation, I didn't want to upset him like this.

“She is not coming in here. Do not go outside.” His eyes were glowing and if I squinted, his veins were too. It was as if lightning was shooting through his body, his being radiating power. He vanished and a string of curses escaped my lips. I pushed through the backdoor to find Cas and April staring each other down. A look of fury on Castiel’s beautiful features and a taunting smirk on April’s lips. 

_ Dean, I told you to not come out here.  _ His voice snapped. It felt distant though and I assumed he was communicating with April in a similar manner. Let me just shove that jealousy down and lock it away. 

_ Yeah, I'm not a very good listener Cas. Thought you'd know that by now.  _

_ Please Dean. This does not concern you and I want you to be where it is safe.  _ The familiar warmth reached out, coiling around my wrists and ankles, pulling me towards the house. I fought against it though. 

_ I'm honored that you want me safe and all, but you have a mate Cas. A MATE. You didn't think I deserved to know that?  _ There's the irritation and jealousy. I wasn't very good at suppressing emotions either. Yep, my life was spiraling dangerously towards chick-flick and in that moment, I didn't give a rat’s ass.

_ April is NOT MY MATE.  _ I flinched back from the pain splintering my skull. His voice was loud and angry. Through the connection, I felt all of his emotions melding with my own. Fury, regret, and pure fear. It was disorienting and the warmth strengthened until the emotions faded to a dull reminder in my mind.  _ Once a reaper is fully trained and becomes a warrior of the afterlife, the grand council ensures you have a partner. If you do not have a significant other at the time, they determine a mate for you and bind you. I fled before our ceremony could be complete. April is unstable and I have no feelings for her. Refusing a mate is another strike against me though and April has come to bring me to the afterlife. She fails to acknowledge that I am home and I have no intentions of abandoning it.  _ He locked eyes with me and the warmth strengthened. It was overwhelming, to say the least, but I maintained eye contact. 

_ Your home?  _ A beautiful, adoring smile blossomed on his face in response to my question. It instantly flipped when the connection between us was severed. It felt like whiplash and I stumbled backwards, dropping onto my butt. Sharp pains shot through my head and April was glowering at us. 

“Enough Castiel.” She strengthened her stance, power swirling in her irises. Cas’s fists clenched and he turned away from her, dropping down to his knees beside me. His fingers gently brushed through my hair before cupping my cheek. 

“Are you okay?” He whispered, blatantly ignoring the storm brewing in the small woman behind him. I nodded, sucking in a breath before speaking.

“Yeah, Cas. I'm good. Focus on Megabitch.” I waved him away, appreciating the remaining warmth as he stood, locking his glare on her. In that moment, I pitied her because I would never wish to be on the receiving end of that stare. I hardly paid attention to the words exchanged between the two beings, zoning out as the pain etched its way through my thoughts. 

“We are destined to be together Castiel. I will return for you. Your pet will get sick of you and then you will have nothing.” April’s words pulled my focus back in and then she was gone. I hadn't noticed that Castiel had left my side. His right side was bleeding and a bloody, silver blade slipped through his hands, clattering onto the patio before dissipating into air. Sweat beaded on his forehead and his breath was ragged. 

“Cas! Are you ok-ah!” I grimaced, clutching my head as I struggled to get to my feet. Cas was suddenly next to me, scooping me up into his arms as if I was weightless. He held me close, locking my backdoor before walking into my bedroom. He placed me onto the bed, pressing his lips gently to my forehead before disappearing.  _ Ca-?  _ I regretted that instantly, liquid fire shooting from my head to my toes, my body tensing. Cas reappeared, pressing a cool, damp towel to my forehead. 

“Do not try to establish the connection again. April severed it. It is one of her gifts, so to speak. I am so sorry Dean. I do not know what pain you are feeling and I cannot heal it. I should have known. I-” His words fell from his frowning lips, his forehead creased with worry. I snatched his hand, holding on tightly. 

“Megabitch did this. Not you. First-aid kit is under the sink.” It's all I could manage and he smiled apologetically, squeezing my hand before vanishing again. He returned in a few minutes, bare-chested with a white bandage wrapped around his core. He climbed into the bed on the opposite side and buried himself under blankets. I rolled over, curling into his side with a huff. He seemed startled at first before lifting his arm, giving me access to his chest. Shamelessly, I wrapped my arms above his bandage and tucked my head under his chin. “Night Cas.” I hummed, the fog of exhaustion overwhelming the pain. 

“Goodnight Dean.” Lips pressed against my forehead once again before I fell unconscious. 


	9. You Owe Me Lollipops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Luci, always causing trouble. Do you know how many souls I have to bring with us to see Michael? Pick your poison bro. Porno, flower garden, or a daycare?” The man stood on the edge of the fire, smirking at the collapsed reaper. Cas had deflated, sinking down onto one knee as he struggled to maintain even breathing. Lucifer’s mouth moved, but no words escaped his lips. “I really missed that gift of yours.” The cheerful man placed a hand on Cas’s shoulder, smiling fondly at him. “Well, daycare it is! Enjoy the screaming brats Luci.” The man snapped his fingers and Lucifer’s eyes paled to an off-white. He dropped onto the pavement like a rag doll and the golden fire faded to ash, along with the rest of the fire in market. I felt people crowding me and I pushed myself up. Sam was kneeling in front of me, the behemoth blocking my view of Cas and his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I am so sorry for the delay. My last undergraduate semester just started and it's already hectic. I promise to do my best to stick with the weekly updates. I have the next few chapters planned out, so hopefully that will help me stick with the weekly updates. They are on the shorter side, but they are very important for the longer chapters later in the story. Right now, I plan for the story to be 25-ish chapters long! (That might change as the story progresses.) That's enough of my rambling! This chapter introduces one of my favorite characters, so I hope you enjoy! Please leave comments or critiques, as they are greatly appreciated.

**May 20th**

**Dean**

* * *

 

I awoke to a cold and barren bed. The window was open, curtains fluttering from the gentle breeze. Based on the height of the sun in the sky, it had to be early morning. The bed sheets were tucked neatly around my body, clearly done with care. My limbs protested by aching and cracking as I pushed myself up onto my feet. I stumbled out into the living room, my body and mind screaming for some form of caffeine. After fumbling with the coffee maker until it sounded like it was brewing, I spun around to lean on the counter. My eyes fell on a ratty notebook, laying open on the island. Needless to say, my curiosity was peaked. I glanced down, eyes scanning over the page. In neat cursive swirls, a note was written.

“Dean,

I have to handle April. I cannot have her putting you in danger. I left this morning, but you were sleeping so peacefully, I did not want to disturb you. For that, I am sorry. If your head is feeling better, I would very much enjoy hearing your voice. I left your bin, packed for the farmers market, in your baby. Have a lovely day Dean.

Cas”

The smile forming on my lips was unavoidable and I basked in the warmth swirling in my chest. The guy was a dork and he left again, but at least he left me a note this time. Though, I can't say that the idea of him chasing after April was settling. I contemplated it for a moment, deciding my head felt well enough to reach out. Picturing the angel, I thought of his name, soft as a whisper.

 _I’m pissed that you left without telling me, again._ I muttered in my mind, hoping he'd sense the annoyance. I sipped the scolding coffee, hissing at the sting on my tongue. The bitterness was a nice kick in the ass in the morning.

 _Hello Dean._ It was weird to explain it, but I could feel him smiling. _You are a bad mumbler._

 _And you’re bad at this whole sticking around thing. Why’d you leave?_ I downed the rest of my coffee, wandering into the bathroom to shower after throwing the bed sheets in the laundry pile. I’d have to go to the laundromat after the farmers market.

_April knew where you lived. I had to track her down before she could relay the information to Michael._

_I feel like it’s a lot more complicated than that Cas._

_It is not, I assure you._

I frowned, rinsing shampoo from my scalp. Deciding not to respond, I finished my shower and got changed quickly before baking a pie. The blueberries were growing surprisingly well in the backyard garden, so they were the perfect produce to showcase at the market. I had also made blueberry muffins and strudel to sell along with my usual breads and herbs. I packed up the freshly baked pie and whistled, wandering out to my car. It was a gorgeous day, the warm air caressing my exposed arms.

 _Dean, are you actually angry with me?_ The worry coating his words almost broke my resolve, but I wasn’t budging. I slipped into baby, enjoying the purr of the engine before pulling out towards the market. It would be swamped today, due to the agreeable weather. Baby eased down the side street, cruising on the open road.

“Dean.”

“Son of a bitch!” I clenched my jaw, easing baby back onto the road. I was rusty and the sudden appearance of a man in my car nearly threw me off course. I glanced at the angel beside me, bewildered. “Cas, what the hell?”

“Are you angry?” Worry creased his brow and he slid across the bench seat to reside beside me. His eyes were wide with concern. I sucked in a breath, adjusting my position on the seat before easing into the marketplace.

“No, Cas. I’m not angry.” I muttered, hands dropping from the steering wheel. He looked away, a perplexed look falling on his features. “I just-” My words fell off. I didn’t have a good explanation for why I didn’t answer him for a few hours this morning. “Disappointed and annoyed are better words.”

“Dean, I left to protect you. I found April. She is trapped in sigils for now.” He spoke flatly, following me towards my usual table with the bin in his arms.

“Good morning Dean! Good morning Castiel!” Julia smiled widely at us, her hazel eyes sparkling. Her table was covered with fresh produce and homemade fruit chews. She dried them in the oven and captured the essence of the fruit in the snack. Who knew healthy food could actually taste freakin’ awesome?

“Morning.” I smiled back politely and Cas smiled widely at her, eyeing the blueberry fruit chews as he gave her a small wave. The guy was addicted and Jules knew that. She handed him a baggy, winking before tossing me one as well.

“These are my new berry blast chews. They have a mix of blueberry, blackberry, and strawberry. You’ll have to let me know whatcha think!” She clapped her hands as she bounced around her table, organizing the different fruits.

“Thank-you Julia. That is very kind of you.” Cas took the seat next to me and helped me set up the table. He eyed the pie before locking his stare on mine, mouth agape. “Did you make blueberry pie without me?”  

“Maybe.” I mumbled, glancing away to look at the growing crowd around us.

“Dean, you told me I could help you make the first blueberry pie. We grew the blueberries together.” He was honestly offended and I cursed at myself. Jules looked over at us, giving me a small smile, before helping her first customer of the day.

“Castiel! Dean!” Anna was sprinting through the crowd, panic swirling in her eyes. “Stop bickering! We have trouble.” As she neared us, the tears streaming down her face glistened in the sun. If the waterworks weren't enough of a clue something was going to go wrong, the table closest to the entrance exploded, flames extending to lick the nearby tables and families. The flame grew, wrapping around table after table, engulfing people and burning them to ash. Cas shot up, kicking our table forward and away from us.

“The fire will not stop until its satisfied. Anna, take Dean and get people to safety. Throw anything lacking value into the blaze.” Cas ordered, kicking Julia’s table over and pushing it towards the center. He was feeding the fire with objects instead of people. I grabbed our chairs, tossing them towards the center as my moose of a brother came barreling through the panicked crowd, Jess on his heels.

“Tell me what the hell is going on Castiel.” Sam yanked on the collar of Cas’s trench coat, fury dancing in his irises. Cas gripped my brothers wrists and removed his hands from the coat, glowering.

“It does not concern you.” His voice overflowed with power as he stepped back from Sam.

“Innocent people are dying Cas! We gotta know what's going on so we can help people.” I grabbed the sleeve of his coat and he yanked his arm away. I was persistent though and I linked our fingers together, startling him. He paused, studying our entwined hands before meeting my gaze. His gaze softened for a moment.

“Lucifer. He must have followed me from the afterlife. I must face him alone. Get everyone as far from here as possible.” He squeezed my hand and I held tighter, pulling him towards me. I cupped his cheek with my free hand and refused to let him look elsewhere.

“Sam and Jess, help Anna get everyone out. I'm staying with Cas.” I spoke sternly, holding on tighter.

“Dean-” before he could finish his retort, a man emerged from the fire, flames twirling around his wrists. Castiel maneuvered us so he stood in front of me, a barrier between his brother and I. Anna dragged Sam and Jess away, both too bewildered to fight back. Jules ran after them, not fully understanding what was going on. She wasn’t stupid though and she knew following them was the safer option.

“Castiel, it is so great to see you doing well. How was your swim? I hope the wires weren't too hard for you to break all by yourself.” The man spoke in a demeaning, mocking tone. “And who's this? You get hitched without notifying the fam? How does April feel about emerald eyes?” He continued progressing forward, Cas stiffening in front of me. A silver blade slid from his sleeve and into my hand as he released the grip. He had another blade in his own hand and he turned to face Lucifer head on. “Oh, come on now. That hurts Castiel, truly. Where’s the adoration? The brotherly love and sympathy?”

“What are you doing here Lucifer?” Castiel ignored his mockery, mirroring Lucifer’s movements as the reaper sauntered across the ravenous flames.

“To have some fun.” He smirked, lifting his hand and clucking his tongue. “Come on back. We are all friends here. Are you trying to hide lover boy’s friends from me baby brother? That just won’t do.” Sam, Jess, Anna, and Julia were dragged back by other beings. Each person handled the attack in their own way: Jess kicking and screaming, Julia taking staggering breaths, Anna fighting back her tears, and Sam glowering at Cas. I caught the black, bottomless pits where the being’s eyes should be and huffed a string of curses.

 _Cas, they’re dark souls. Sammy and I can handle them if you distract Lucifer._ The knife was in my back pocket. I could give it to Anna and use the blade Cas gave me. It would be the three of us against four demons and we would have the upper hand, springing a surprise attack on them.

 _No!_ Cas’s voice was panicked, completely contradicting his calm and stoic expression. I paused, glancing back at his raven hair. _Lucifer is many things, but naive is not one of them. He is playing a fool, but he knows who you and Sam are. Most likely the demon’s are ordered to kill them all if you so much as look at them the wrong way._  His voice was dreadful, and I hated it.

 _Then what the hell are we supposed to do Cas? Lay down, roll over, and hope he doesn’t kill us all anyway?_ I shouted back, glowering at his head.

 _Glaring at my head will not solve anything or change my mind Dean. Focus on the beings around you and on Lucifer. He cannot break the link like April, but he can do worse._ I gulped, not wanting to find out what Satan was capable of. In a blink, I was suddenly kneeling in front of Lucifer. Bewildered by the motion, I swallowed the acidic vomit climbing up my throat. I’d rather not piss off the devil more by throwing up on his shoes. He studied my face, his hand cupping my cheek. _Dean!_ Cas cried out and he launched himself forward.

“Not now, brother. I’m busy. Didn’t mother teach you it is rude to interrupt?” Lucifer snapped his fingers as fire wrapped around Cas’s wrists and ankles, yanking him backwards. “Wait your turn.” He focused his attention back on me and smiled. “Dean Winchester. Son of Jon and Mary Winchester. Older brother of one Sam Winchester. Hiya Sammy.” He gave a dainty wave to Sam, winking as he did.

“Satan. My apologies for not researching your backstory before this. Guess I missed the stalker memo.” I returned the greeting, ignoring the foreign fear pulsing in my head. Cas really wasn’t holding back his emotions from me anymore and I can’t say it was any less disorienting. Lucifer chuckled harshly before raising his hand and smacking me right across the face. The echo of the slap was enough for me to know it was going to leave a nice bruise on my cheek. The flood of coppery blood in my mouth was also a clue to how hard he hit me and I spat on the ground, smiling at him. “For the devil, you really have a girly slap. I think my niece has hit me harder than that.”

“A little birdy told me that you Winchesters have a bit of a fear of fire. Why don’t we test this theory? I was going to save this for my darling little brother, but you’re mouthy and I’m not a fan.” He flexed his hand out, tendrils of the flame stretching forward and twisting in his palm, forming a whip. A familiar warmth stretched out around me, blanketing my body before Lucifer lashed the whip down, scraping the flames across my left shoulder blade. I cried out, the heat cutting into my bone. The warmth danced on my skin, soothing the pain before Lucifer hit again. The whip ripped across my thigh, blood splattering on the pavement as the fire licked at the wound. The smell of burning flesh filled my nostrils and I gagged, my head spinning from the pain. He continued to hit, alternating between my shoulder and thigh. The warmth was struggling to keep up, only able to relieve the pain so much. “Do you have anything more to say Dean? Is the pain up to your standard now?” He knelt down in front of me, locking his glare on mine. I sucked in a large breath, praying my throat and brain would cooperate enough to speak.

“Fuck-” In goes another raspy breath. “-you.” I smirked at the reaper and he frowned, standing and lifting his hand.

 _DEAN!_ The whip slashed across my cheek, my hair singing. I felt as if my skin was boiling and maybe if I pissed him off enough, he would just kill me to shut me up. No such luck though. I collapsed to the ground, the sound of my name coming from the group being held be demons. I couldn’t answer though, the strength leaving my body with every stream of blood. It felt like my skin was melting off easily, as if it was the wax of a burning candle. The warmth maintained its focus on my shoulder and thigh, cooling the areas to the best of its abilities. I managed to force my eyes open, the sounds of grunting and metal clanging had pulled my interest. Cas was lunging at Lucifer, a silver blade in each hand. Lucifer matched each strike with his whip of fire, smirking at the attempts of his younger brother. The warmth left me for a moment as Lucifer flew backwards, his body shattering the pavement like it was made of glass. It returned as Cas sprinted forward, knocking the whip out of the way to stab Lucifer’s shoulder. My eyes caught movement from the dark souls, Julia being tossed to the side as one sprinted forward. Cas. The pain was too much in my head and I was unable to form the link with him. Speaking wasn’t really an option either, the air heavy with smoke. Even breathing hurt, my lungs filling with the fumes every time I gasped. Before the demon could reach the brothers, a shorter man with golden brown hair appeared behind her, touching her shoulder swiftly. His eyes sparkled as she turned to dust. He appeared behind each demon, turning them all to dust before appearing next to Cas. Lucifer’s eyes widened as the man whispered foreign words. Castiel joined him, continuing to deflect Lucifer’s whip. Lucifer tried to hiss words back at them, but his voice dissipated into the air with the smoke. His eyes widened as he clutched at his throat. The fire whip fell from his grasp, forming a circle of golden flames around him. He collapsed to his knees, clutching at the pavement as he cried out in agony. The short man smirked at him, clicking his teeth.

“Luci, always causing trouble. Do you know how many souls I have to bring with us to see Michael? Pick your poison bro. Porno, flower garden, or a daycare?” The man stood on the edge of the fire, smirking at the collapsed reaper. Cas had deflated, sinking down onto one knee as he struggled to maintain even breathing. Lucifer’s mouth moved, but no words escaped his lips. “I really missed that gift of yours.” The cheerful man placed a hand on Cas’s shoulder, smiling fondly at him. “Well, daycare it is! Enjoy the screaming brats Luci.” The man snapped his fingers and Lucifer’s eyes paled to an off-white. He dropped onto the pavement like a rag doll and the golden fire faded to ash, along with the rest of the fire in market. I felt people crowding me and I pushed myself up. Sam was kneeling in front of me, the behemoth blocking my view of Cas and his brother.

“Dean. Talk to me man. Say something, please. Jess! Can you get some water? Or bandages? God, Dean. Why the hell did you talk back to the devil?” He was angry, panicked, and unsure of himself. Jess stood to his left, attempting to calm Jules down. They were both as shaken up as he was and Jess frantically looked around the square. Anna was nowhere in sight and I struggled to move around Sam.

“It’s just a scra-” My words trailed off as I cried out. Apparently standing was a really bad idea and my leg gave out, sending me tumbling towards the pavement. Warm arms caught me though and I was maneuvered around so the person could hold me bridal style. A gentle hand pushed my hair from my forehead, feather-light lips brushing the now exposed skin. Cas.

“I am going to take the pain away first, okay? By no means are you to walk on your own. Mending your wounds will take time and I would like to ease your suffering before moving you back to your house.” Guilt soaked Cas’s words and I lifted my hand, brushing my fingertips against his cheek as my eyes attempted to focus on him. His beautiful facial features were creased with anguish and he placed two fingertips on my forehead. A gasp escaped my lips, my body going slack in his arms.

“What did you do to him?” Sam growled, held back by Jess’s hand entwined with his.

“I only have so much power to give Sam. I alleviated Dean’s pain so I can bring him home to heal him. Anna left to acquire help with repairing the market square. I am afraid there is nothing any of us can do to bring back those lost today. For that, I am deeply sorry.” Cas kept his eyes on mine as he spoke.

“It’s not your fault. Lucifer threw the epic tantrum and I taunted him. Don’t blame yourself.” My voice was raspy and a coughing fit shook my body before I managed to lean further into Cas’s embrace. His entire body flinched as the shorter man’s face appeared over his shoulder. The guy had a cheerful smirk on his face, blue syrup smeared on the corner of his lips. “Did you eat my pie?” The words escaped me before I could stop them and he fell back on his butt, laughing joyously. Cas pushed himself off the ground, standing over the hysterical man.

“Yes and it is magnificent. You really outdid yourself Dean-o.” He held the crumpled pie dish in his hand as he scooped out another piece, scarfing it down. Sam, Jess, and Jules were staring at him, bewildered. “Oh, right. Before I forget.” He was suddenly behind Jules, his fingers brushing the back of her head before lowering her to the ground. He reached for Jess and Sam yanked her behind him, knife raised.

“Back the hell up.” He snapped, giving the man a rather impressive bitch-face. The man chuckled, eyeing Sam up and down.

“I like em feisty. We will talk later Sammy. I’ll leave your memories for now.” He winked before snapping his fingers. Just like that, the three of them were gone.

“He sent them back to their respective homes Dean. Please do not worry.” Cas quickly assured me before I could yell something I’d probably regret at the guy who saved our bacon. It was as if the sound of his voice signaled his presence to the shorter man. My vision was beginning to blur and I fought the urge to tuck my head under Cas’s chin.

“Hey Cassie. I think we are up to a few hundred lollipops at this point. You can either owe me that, or you could have your human there make another pir. I’ll happily settle for an apple one as repayment. “ He winked again, at least I thought he did.

“Gabriel.” Cas huffed, eyes narrowing at the shorter man. THE Gabriel?

“The one and only.” He lifted his arms with a wide smile. It was the last thing I saw before drifting off into unconsciousness.


	10. For the Angel, Irises and Blueberry Pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Dean! Such a surprise seeing you here. You know Charlie only helps out on weekends.” She pulled me in for a hug, a wide smile on her lips.  
> “Heya Dorothy. Yeah, I know. I’m actually here for some advice and flowers.” I scratched the back of my neck again awkwardly, eyes scanning the rows of colors. I found myself drawn to the blue flowers lining the left wall, my eyes settling on the petals that matched the reaper’s eyes. Dorothy bounced into my line of vision, her bright smile replaced with a smirk.  
> “Well, I didn’t realize Dean Winchester was such a hopeless romantic. Never thought I’d see the day. Aren’t you allergic to… what do you call them-” She paused and had her little ah-ha moment. “-chick flick moments?”  
> “Usually, but as of late, no.” I responded genuinely. I needed her help and I would choke out honest answers to get it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is what you all have been waiting for, finally! I am very sorry for the update delay but I was struggling to make the scene perfect. I also apologize for the extreme slow burn that is Dean and Castiel, but I really wanted to build and strengthen their relationship rather than just throw them together early on. I feel like the time adds depth to their relationship and makes it more believable. I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. I plan to update again this weekend, so stay tuned for how Sam and Gabriel handle their huge revelation. I also apologize for any typos/ editing mistakes. As always, kudos and comments are appreciated!

**May 21st**

**Dean**

* * *

I awoke to fingers gently carding through my hair, a soft tune being hummed behind me. My eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the bright lights of my living room. The moonlight from the back window stretched across the floor and I struggled to piece my memories back together. Hot pain seared through my shoulder and I cried out, curling myself further into the warm body behind me. A gentle warmth overtook the fire, soothing my aching limbs and my jumbled mind.

“Shh, Dean. It is okay. You are safe.” A hushed tone reassured me as a wet, gentle touch pressed against my sweating forehead. I refocused my gaze on the living room, noticing Gabriel sprawled out on the love seat across from me, eyes trained on a magazine I didn’t recognize. I positioned myself to lock eyes with the man behind me. Cas’s lovely blue eyes were pained and watery, though he gave me a soft smile as I blinked up at him. My body was resting in his lap, curled against his chest as his arms clutched me protectively to him. “I am so sorry Dean. I hope that you can forgive me.” He whispered into my hair and I lifted my shaky hand to cup his cheek.

“You saved my sorry ass again. Cas, there’s nothing to forgive.” My voice was hoarse and it burned my throat, but I continued on. “You and Gabriel took care of Lucifer, I survived, and you’re in one piece. That’s all that matters.” At the sound of his name, Gabriel tore his eyes from the pages in front of him to study us. “What’s your story?” The words escaped my lips and he rolled his eyes, deciding the magazine was more interesting.

“Gabriel is skilled with mind tricks. He can make one feel as if they are in another universe or that they are seeing something out of place in their own universe. That is how Gabriel managed to stay hidden, save the few times he decided to inject himself into my life. As kids, he was fond of lollipops, so that was the form of payment we agreed on anytime he would save me. I have been lost in many tricks, but I promise he is harmless to you. My brother, though childish and annoying, means well and is very powerful. He agreed to watch over you while I deal with April. Is that okay?” My brain was slow on the uptake, but I processed the important aspects. Though, my train of thought was stuck on one phrase as I stared into his worried gaze.

“You’re actually asking me?”’I was pleasantly surprised and the warmth brushed against my cheek.

“I refuse to be the cause of anymore pain to you Dean.” He spoke earnestly, his eyes trained on mine.

  
“Go Cas. I'll be alright. Just bring me back apple pie or beer. Maybe a burger from the Roadhouse.” I waved him off, unfolding to separate from his body heat.

  
“By bringing you food, I will earn your forgiveness?” He stood swiftly, gently placing me onto the couch. The cushions were warmed by his body heat and I sighed happily.

  
“There's no forgiveness to earn Cas. You just saved my life again. Go take care of psycho bitch. As long as Gabe doesn't mess with me, I'll be fine.” I assured him again with a small smile.

  
“I am offended that you don't trust me Baby Bro.” The trickster himself decided to speak up in that moment. 

“It is nothing against you Gabriel. I did it to ease Dean's mind.” Castiel responded without a second thought, not even turning to acknowledge his brother.

  
“Did what?” I glanced around Cas to see Gabriel’s annoyed frown.

  
“Put sigils up while you were zonked out to restrict my power. I'm hurt.” He clutched his chest and sighed dramatically. Even I rolled my eyes at that.

  
“You have been gone for a long time Gabriel. I hope you understand my hesitation. Are Sam, Jess, and Julia okay?” He ignored his brother’s theatrics.

  
"Whatever. The fruit girl is sound asleep, dreaming of some organic farm. Jess is handling it all surprisingly well and the gorgeous hunk of Winchester only tried to stab me twice.” He plopped back down on the couch, a smirk on his face.   
  
“You could have just said yes.” Cas muttered, finally turning to look at the older reaper. 

“Yes.” Gabriel added a wink for a good measure and Castiel turned back around, deciding it was best to just ignore his brother. He leaned down and pressed a swift kiss to my forehead.

“If you need anything or the pain returns,  just reach for my mind. I will not be gone long.” With a warm smile, Cas vanished. My heart was fluttering away and I made a point to ignore the smirk plastered on Gabriel’s face.

“So, I got your story from Anna. She said Cassie isn't much of a talker. Anything I can help clear up?" He popped a bubble of gum as he pushed himself to get a better view of my reactions. I decided to push the question about the bubble gum to the back of my mind. He probably had a stash of sugary treats in his pockets.  
  
“Can you tell me more about Cas's power?” It wasn’t really a fair question, but the curiosity was nearly consuming. I knew of his ability to mute people, telepathically communicate, heal, siphon life energy and extend his own life energy. What I didn’t know was if he could manipulate all forms of energy or if the abilities were unique to only him. Reapers were still a mystery, for the most part, and Cas was the center of that mystery for me.

“No can do buckaroo. Even I have boundaries and Cas's history is one of them. He will tell you when he's ready Dean-o.” He popped another bubble and studied my expression. I frowned, thinking of another question. My head was aching and my eyes drooped. Despite Cas’s healing, my body was still weak and I tried to ignore that.

“Okay, well can you tell me about Lucifer?” It would be nice to learn about the son of a bitch who tried to fillet me with a fire whip.

  
“Well for starters, the guy's a big bag of dicks.” I sputtered a laugh, thrown off guard by his expressive and vulgar responses. The contrast between Gabriel and Cas was very defined. “He controls hell-fire and he's fueled by rage. And let me tell yah, he's got a lot of rage. Cassie and I trapped him in holy fire, one of his few weaknesses. It's really a weakness for all of us, courtesy of moi. I enjoy dabbling in magic and sigils, so its something I cooked up a few years back. You saw Castiel take Lucifer's voice, so Luci couldn't counter the spell. I placed his mind somewhere else and brought him to the head honcho himself, Michael. Basically, Luci was just throwing a tantrum of epic proportions. It’s kind of   
his specialty.” Gabriel summarized, shrugging his shoulders at the end of his speech like it was a simple retelling of a bedtime story.

  
“You offered to trap Lucifer in a porno?” My mind flickered to the options Gabriel gave his brother the day prior.

“I like to give options. The pornos are my favorite, but I thought he deserved to be surrounded by snotty, crying toddlers instead. He hates all humans, but he REALLY hates children.” Gabe rambled, laughing to himself.

“I..” I was at a loss for words, not even able to come up with a snappy remark or a humorous retort. A rather large yawn escaped me and I slumped back against the couch. 

“I know, I'm awesome. You should probably go back to sleep Dean-o. Castiel is still replenishing your energy. He'll probably be back before you wake up.” Gabriel responded with a wave of his hand, deciding to focus his attention back on the magazine. Lacking energy to argue, I let sleep overtake me while a trickster reaper who enjoys trapping people in pornos, reads magazines in my living room.

* * *

 I jolted awake, the familiar touch of my mattress supporting my back. Strong arms were wound around me and I smiled softly as my eyes fell on Cas, sound asleep beside me. I suppose he found me on the couch when he got back, so he carried me to my bed and decided to spider monkey me. I felt more energetic and well-rested today. Glancing down, I noted the bandages placed securely on  my shoulder and thigh. Damn, the angel was too good for me. My eyes fell on the quiet room, the sun peaking out from behind the curtains. It had to be early morning, the sun still low in the clouds. My eyes fell back on the snoring reaper beside me and my heart thudded evenly in my chest. Today’s the day. I was sure of it. I gently slipped from Cas’s grasp, kissing his warm cheek before pulling on fresh jeans and a flannel. Shutting the door behind me as quietly as possible, I trotted into the living room where Gabriel perched on the couch, eyes trained on the television. It was muted and colorless images of women danced across the screen, a man tapping away at piano keys in the corner of the scene.

“Morning Dean-o! Hope you don't mind, but I signed into something called Netflix and found a silent movie to watch. They really got the costume design and the mood of the era spot on. The accuracy is extremely satisfying.” His bubbly voice chirped as I refocused on him.

“Yeah, that’s fine. Are you a history buff or something?” I made some coffee, half tempted to add some liquid courage to get through the day. Cas deserved better though and I quickly dismissed that thought.

“Well, yeah. Only because I lived it. When you see how the world changes over centuries, you start to become really fascinated.” He clicked his tongue, eyes glued to the television. Centuries? It was as if my brain decided to neglect to file away the fact that Cas and Gabriel are supernatural, all-powerful, centuries-old beings. Great job brain.

“Right. Uh, do you know when Cas got back?” I rubbed the back of my neck, taking swigs of the caffeinated heaven in my mug.

“A few hours ago. He should be out a little longer. April was missing and Cassie thinks someone helped her escape the sigils. He tried tracking her for a bit, but he didn’t want to go deeper into the afterlife. Michael gave him a temporary pardon because he helped subdue Luci, but he didn’t want to risk any extremists hunting him down. Cas is a bit more human than reaper now because of all the healing he’s been doing, so its best to not throw himself in danger at the moment. The idiot spent most of the night healing you, so he’ll be out cold for a bit longer.” He must have ingested pounds of sugar, the words flying from his mouth. I struggled to keep up with them, nodding as he spoke to show I was attempting to listen.

“Alrighty then. Well, I have a few errands to run. There’s pie in the fridge, so help yourself. If Cas wakes up, let him know I’ll be back in an hour or so.” I pulled the front door open and stepped out.

“Pie?” Gabriel bounced off the couch as I pulled my front door shut. I slid into baby, enjoying the purr of the engine before pulling out onto the highway. Dorothy’s flower shop wasn’t too far away and I needed some expert advice. Before I could convince myself I was being cheesy and stupid, I pulled into the parking lot and shoved myself out of the car. The bell above the door jingled as I pushed it open and Dorothy, sporting dark denim jeans and a brown leather jacket strolled to the front to greet me.

“Dean! Such a surprise seeing you here. You know Charlie only helps out on weekends.” She pulled me in for a hug, a wide smile on her lips.

“Heya Dorothy. Yeah, I know. I’m actually here for some advice and flowers.” I scratched the back of my neck again awkwardly, eyes scanning the rows of colors. I found myself  drawn to the blue flowers lining the left wall, my eyes settling on the petals that matched the reaper’s eyes. Dorothy bounced into my line of vision, her bright smile replaced with a smirk.

“Well, I didn’t realize Dean Winchester was such a hopeless romantic. Never thought I’d see the day. Aren’t you allergic to… what do you call them-” She paused and had her little ah-ha moment. “-chick flick moments?”

“Usually, but as of late, no.” I responded genuinely. I needed her help and I would choke out honest answers to get it.

“Does this have to do with a certain blue-eyed gentleman?” She batted her eyelashes, leaning forward.

“It has everything to do with him.” I confirmed, a warm blush creeping up my neck and blanketing my cheeks. She squealed, sounding more like Charlie by the second, before grabbing my hand and pulling me to the back room.

“So what do you want the flowers to say? ‘I love you’ and all the ooey gooey stuff, or more of a subtle adoration bouquet?” She must have noticed my bewildered stare because she chuckled. “Subtle adoration, got it.” She nodded, reaching for the flower that caught my eye when I first walked in. “Blue and yellow irises. They’ll be perfect.” She pulled a mix of both from the vases on the side, tying a silver bow around them.

“What do they mean?” I gulped, studying the bright petals. She smirked, gesturing for me to follow her back out to the front.

“The blue represent faith and hope. The yellow represent passion. I believe it is the perfect subtle bouquet that just also happens to partially match the recipient’s vibrant eyes. Don’t keep him waiting hotshot.” She handed me the flowers before I could argue, ushering me out of the shop. “Oh, and to pay me for them, you can come over and replace Charlie’s breaks next week.” She winked, pulling the door shut before I could agree. She was definitely a firecracker, like Charlie, when she wanted to be. I hurried to the grocery store, buying a few ingredients before returning home. I walked in, retrieving a vase from under the sink and filling it with water and the flower food Dorothy gave me before putting the bouquet in it. An empty pie dish resided in the sink and a chuckle escaped me as I noticed the lack of Gabriel in the house. Even his magazines were gone from the coffee table. I didn’t dwell on it too long, heading out back to retrieve some of the blueberries Cas and I had planted. I made quick work of baking the pie, pulling it out so it could cool. As if awoken by the pleasant aroma hanging in the air, Castiel stumbled out of the bedroom, rubbing his eyes.

“Hello Dean.” His voice was groggy and he dragged his feet while walking right into my personal space. He slipped his arms around my waist, cuddling in close to me. “Warmth.” He huffed, pleased with the position. An adoring smile tugged at my lips and I leaned down, kissing the top of his head before engulfing the man with my arms.

“Mornin’ Angel.” I spoke softly, hugging him tighter to me.

“M’ not an angel.” He retorted, his words muffled by sleep and my flannel. I thought over it for a moment, before deciding to just dive right in. It was too late to change my mind at this point so there was no sense in dancing around it.

“Well, you’re my angel. Thanks for coming back Cas.” It was a sincere thanks and I tried to push my gratitude and adoration into his thoughts. I wasn’t entirely sure if the link worked that way, but if I could feel Cas’s emotions when he wanted, surely he could feel mine when I wanted him to.

“I promised you I would. I would never leave you voluntarily Dean.” He took a shaky breath, tightening his grip on me. His voice was very small as he added a short question. “Do you mean it?”

“That you're my angel?” I pulled away slightly as he nodded. My hand slipped out from around his waist to cup his cheek instead.

“Course I do, yah dork. Here, I got you these.” I reluctantly pulled away to hand him the bouquet. My smile was sheepish as I awaited his reaction. If he didn’t know flower speak, he probably wouldn’t get the meaning behind them. Nonetheless, I always saw him eyeing the flowers at the market, so at least I knew he would like them. Cas stared at them, eyes wide as his mouth hung slightly agape. “I also made you pie, since Gabriel ate the one from the market. How about I make you breakfast? Gabriel said you're a bit more human today since you've been wasting your energy on me.” I was rambling now, trying to smother the tiny bit of regret forming in the back of my mind. Cas was still staring at the bouquet, a gentle smile on his face. His eyes snapped up at me, his gaze narrowing as he processed my words.

“Dean Winchester, you are not a waste. You are everything to me. Do not ever think less of yourself. You deserve to be saved. You deserve to be cherished. You des-” I jumped forward, cutting off his words by crashing my lips to his. They melded together effortlessly as Cas snaked his arms around my waist. My hand reached up to caress his cheek, guiding him closer as my other hand pressed into the small of his back. He curved forward, following my mouth, answering to every kiss. My tongue swiped across his bottom lip, a silent question. He opened his mouth without hesitation, my tongue sliding in to explore his mouth. He tasted of blueberries and summer. I was drunk on the taste that was essentially Cas. I sucked his bottom lip in, grazing my teeth over it before pulling back. Castiel wasn’t willing to quit just yet and I managed to gulp down a puff of air before his lips were on mine again. Warmth crashed into me, engulfing my body, pleasantly vibrating on my skin. Passion, adoration, happiness, want. A swirl of Castiel’s emotions entwined with mine as he pushed into my mind. He pulled away after another moment, satisfied as he held our foreheads together. We were both gasping for air to fill our deprived lungs. Our eyes locked, a raging ocean of blues connecting with rolling hills of greens.

_Dean._

_Yeah Cas?_

_It took you long enough._ Laughter shook my body as he gave me a loving smile, leaning in to press his lips to mine once more. He released me, stepping away to place his flowers on the windowsill and in the afternoon sun. My eyes were trained on his puffy, shining lips.“Dean, may I ask you something for clarification?” He broke my concentration as his eyes met mine once again. His voice was deep, rougher than usual and it sent pleasant electricity down my spine.

“Sure Angel, go ahead.” I responded and those lips pulled into a small smile. It was the rare, shy smile I always filed away for safekeeping. Knowing it was special and for me, left me overjoyed and warm.

“Does this mean we are together now?” He turned to face me, curiosity swirling in his irises.

“Are you asking me out Cas?” I returned his smile with a teasing grin, winking as I leaned back against the island.

“I thought…” The poor guy was flustered as he fumbled with his hands. “the flowers and the pie..” His words trailed off as he glanced away, eyes bouncing around the room. Damn, he was adorable.

“Hey, Cas. I'm just pulling your leg. We are together, if you'll have me.” I stepped forward, reaching for his hand and tangling our fingers together. His eyes brightened as he glanced at our conjoined hands.

“Dean, I've wanted you since you shattered the bracelet binding me to this world.” He spoke earnestly, a smile shining on his face.

“Why?” I huffed, startled by his confession. I was nothing compared to him, just a washed up hunter trying to start a new life, hardly making it by as a chef. If he was the sun, I was a blade of freakin’ grass.

“That is a foolish question. Your soul is radiant, it is the most pure and beautiful light I have seen in my entire existence. You match its essence perfectly. How could I not fall for you in that moment?” His words were honest and pure as he used his other hand to brush circles on the back of mine with his thumb. That small, shy smile returned and it was my turn to be flustered.

“Cas…” He was wrong. I’m not pure. I’ve killed and I’ve made mistakes. Both my parents died and I’m the one that gets to survive. The only good I’ve done is save a few people from dark souls and raise Sammy.

“Please do not refute anything. That is how I view you, similarly to how you view me as this ‘angel’. No matter what happened in your past, I know you now, in this moment. Your soul is still so bright Dean, the brightest I have seen in all my years. I would not be standing in your house with you right now if I did not want to be with you.” He met my eyes and leaned forward. My eyes closed instantly and he pressed his swollen lips to each eyelid before pulling away.  “I would very much enjoy curling up with you more before Gabriel returns.”  He added, that shy smile still present.

“Come on Angel.” I tugged on his hand, pulling him back towards my bedroom. I shed my clothes, leaving only my boxers hanging on my hips before settling in bed. Castiel did the same, curling into my side under the mountain of blankets, humming in satisfaction. I tucked him close, pressing a kiss to his forehead before shutting my eyes. The bed creaked as a feather light brush of lips pressed against my own, before a familiar warmth settled over both of us. I drifted off to sleep with my angel in my arms.


	11. Peanut Butter and Jelly Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas was standing in his trench coat and trousers, tie wrinkled and hung loosely around his neck. He was glaring at the batter splashed all over the tile. The island was set with two mugs full of steaming coffee by each plate. A stack of irregular pancakes, ranging from pale and undercooked to blackened, sat in the center of the counter with undercooked bacon next to them. “Hey Angel. Whatcha doing?” I leaned against the doorframe, an adoring grin on my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I had a snow day today, so I figured I would take advantage of the free time and write! I have another chapter finished as well that I have to edit tomorrow. I hope to have it posted by Friday. On a sidenote, please don't hate Sam, he's just watching out for Dean. I hope you enjoy and as always, comments are greatly appreciated!

**August 30th**

**Dean**

* * *

Throughout the summer, Cas suggested keeping our recently developed relationship on the down low. Not that I could blame him, really. He'd be the one that would have to face the wrath of Samsquatch. From barbecues, to farmers markets, to spontaneous beach trips; we had to act as if we were just a platonic pair. Not being able to touch Cas, in even the smallest way, turned out to be torturous. I couldn't even ogle the man in his swimsuit. The majority of my time was split between working my ass off at the Roadhouse, spending time with Sammy and our family, and educating Cas in the finer things in life. The finer things being: cooking without burning everything, Lord of the Rings, cars, Led Zeppelin, and making out. The reaper was healing and rebuilding his life energy, so he spent the hotter months volunteering at the market, helping Jules with her garden, and researching with Gabriel. On this particular day, he was with Anna and Meg. They were out tracking April, Meg having spotted her the day prior. That left me with a day off to twiddle my thumbs and plan a nice dinner for Cas and I. Well, that's what it would have been if Sam and Jess hadn't ambushed me with a lead on Azazel. Though I had been otherwise preoccupied, Sam had been in contact with Meg often and had spent his summer vacation reading lore and news articles. The moose himself shoved the chair back, digging into the box in the library’s archive. I hadn't spent this much time in a library since hunting with Dad and maybe not even then. We usually just used his journal or Bobby’s personal archive.

“So get this.” Sam jumped up from the chair, holding a yellowed newspaper up above the table. “Twenty years ago, there were three house fires in California. The only fatality was the mother, each time. Dean, this is the first real lead we have to finding out why it happened to our family. Jess and I can interview the families. Two of the three still live in California.” He was pacing now as Jess tapped away on Sam’s laptop.

“Well, Cas and I can come with you. I'll drive Baby up and take a few days off.” As soon as the words left my lips, Sam narrowed his stare.

“Dean, Castiel doesn't have to come with us. I'm sure he's busy with the whole estranged mate thing.” He waved his hand and continued pacing. A frown touched Jess’s lips as I flinched.

“She's not his mate.” My fists were clenched and Sam paused, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Cas had filled both of them in on the April issue as well as Gabriel’s plan to stay. Sam was less than thrilled about another reaper joining the party. I glared at Sam before making a rather stupid decision. “Cas is mine.” I barked out possessively and a knowing smirk blossomed on Jess’s face while Sam’s jaw dropped. “...and I’m his. He's coming Sam. End of story.” I shoved my chair back, storming up out of the archive and to the front yard of the library. I threw myself back onto the grass, narrowing my eyes at the sun. I was fuming and I had to calm myself before Sam started arguing against my relationship. _Cas. I fucked up. The cat has hit the fan._ I tried to lighten the mood with the last statement, though I figured the joke would fall flat. A gentle warmth blanketed my body as I felt a sudden presence next to me. I pushed myself off of the grass leaning my body onto the familiar trench coat covered shoulder.

“Hello Dean.” Cas turned his adoring gaze down to meet my eyes. I sighed as his fingers entwined with mine.

“Cas. I thought you were in the afterlife with the Scooby gang.” I mumbled.

“I don't understand that reference Dean, you know that.” He huffed a laugh before continuing. “Gabriel set a meet up location so I could come see you for a few minutes. What happened?” He quirked his head to the side. I took a shaky breath, glancing away.

“Sammy said April was your mate and I may have blurted out the fact that you’re mine and not hers.” I spoke sheepishly, leaning my head down and shutting my eyes. The familiar aroma of a summer storm that was essentially Cas overtook my senses, calming me.

“April has no claim on me Dean. I am completely yours.” He assured me, pressing his lips to my forehead. “As for your brother, it oddly pleases me that he is aware of our relationship.” He spoke matter of factly as the door to the library swung open. _Sam seems apologetic Dean. Would you like to speak with him alone?_

 _Please stay._ He squeezed my hand, a soft smile on his lips as Sam dropped down across from us. He cleared his throat.

“So…” He glanced between the both of us. “When did this happen?” He was treading lightly.

“May 22nd.” Cas stated without hesitation and I couldn’t hide the clear pride for my angel on my face.

“So, you've been hiding this all summer.” Both of us nodded and Sam dragged a hand down his face. “Okay, so how about we get dinner tomorrow night and talk about this? We could go to the Roadhouse.” He suggested.

“No Sammy. It’s none of-” Cas cut me off though with a squeeze of my hand.

“Sure Sam. That would be most agreeable.” He smiled calmly and Sam nodded as Jess stepped up behind him.

“We are going to head out to meet Jody for dinner. See you guys.” Sam excused them as we all stood up from the scratchy front lawn. Jess wrapped me in her arms before turning to Cas and hugging him. The reaper tensed before returning her hug.

“I'm really happy for you both. See you tomorrow.” She spun, grabbing Sam’s hand and tugging him along before he could say more.

“Cas, we don't have to do this.” I started but Cas placed a finger gently on my lips.

“I want to. I have every intention to stay with you for as long as you will have me. Therefore, I want Sam to be comfortable with us. I have to get back before Gabriel comes to retrieve me and traps us in a horrid game show or daytime television. I will see you tomorrow Dean.” He cupped my cheek and pressed his lips to mine before vanishing.

 _You’re too good for me Angel._ A soft smile touched my lips as I thought of the dazzling blue eyes and tousled raven hair.

 _I often find myself thinking the same thing about you Dean. We have located April, so I must go. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow._ His words were gentle, dancing through my mind.

 _Be safe Angel._ A sigh escaped my lips as I leaned back down on the grass. Torn between visiting Charlie and driving around in Baby, I decided to clear my head and drive. Cas should be there when Charlie and the girls find out about us. Moreso to my benefit than his. Facing the two women and twins alone would be a little overwhelming. Baby eased along the back roads as I enjoyed the setting sun and cool summer breeze for a few hours. As night time rolled in, the moon lit my path home. I parked Baby and strolled inside, taking my time to enjoy the stars twinkling above. It was a calm night and I wished Cas was here with me. Curling up under the stars, yeah that's something I could get behind. I showered and pulled on sweatpants, settling into my cold bed. The hours ticked by, sleep evading me. A groan escaped my lips as I shoved my face into the pillow. Since Cas had been staying with me, nights have been enjoyable. I got used to sleeping through the night and without him beside me, it was increasingly difficult. Giving up, I sulked to the backyard, dropping down onto the yard to watch the rising sun. It was muggy this morning and I wasn't fond of it. The only positive was that the bugs weren't biting today. A few hours passed while I watched the clouds. A yawn escaped me and I rolled over, tucking my arm under my head. A rather loud clang in the kitchen startled me into full consciousness. A chain of angry, foreign words followed and I shoved myself up, stumbling through the backdoor. Cas was standing in his trench coat and trousers, tie wrinkled and hung loosely around his neck. He was glaring at the batter splashed all over the tile. The island was set with two mugs full of steaming coffee by each plate. A stack of irregular pancakes, ranging from pale and undercooked to blackened, sat in the center of the counter with undercooked bacon next to them. “Hey Angel. Whatcha doing?” I leaned against the doorframe, an adoring grin on my face.

“Hello Dean. I- I wanted to make you breakfast. I am very sorry about your kitchen. I will clean it up, I promise.” He hung his head, shoulders slouching. I stepped forward, caressing his cheek before tapping his chin. I locked my stare on his and smiled.

“Darling, I greatly appreciate you. Don’t worry about the mess, I’ve done worse. Come on, let’s eat.” I pressed my lips to his forehead and pulled his hand to follow me to the stools. I pulled him down next to me, loading up my plate with gusto. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I smelled food.

“Dean, you do not have to subject yourself to this. I will not be offended.” He assured me, grabbing a few pancakes and poking them with his fork. I waved him off and kissed his cheek.

“My boyfriend made me breakfast. It’s automatically the best breakfast.” I cut into the pancake, curious about the red goo baked into it. I hesitantly bit into it and my brow furrowed. “Are these peanut butter and jelly pancakes?”

“Peanut butter and jelly makes me very happy Dean.” He smiled sheepishly, glancing away as he chewed. Man, he was adorable.

“You make me very happy Angel.” And the smile that blossomed on Cas’s face shined like the early morning sun. I pulled his face in, pecking his lips quickly before digging into the pancakes. I took a swig of the caffeinated heaven and choked. The sugar coated my teeth in a layer of crystals and I studied the liquid. “So, how much sugar did you put in the coffee?”

“Eight spoonfuls, I think.” He sipped his own coffee and spat it out, frowning at the mug. I grabbed both mugs and dumped them, rinsing them out and pouring fresh coffee.

“Maybe add a little less sugar next time Cas. Let’s not get cavities from our coffee. Save the sugar overload for Gabe.” I chuckled, handing him the new drink. He sipped at it and smiled gratefully.

“I will remember that next time Dean.” Next time. I smiled at that. After we finished breakfast, I helped him scrub the floor and clean up the dishes. His eyes were trained on my face as I closed the fridge.

“Like whatcha see?” I mused, turning to face him. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” I winked and he frowned, shaking his head. Well that was unexpected. I turned away, but he grabbed my arm.

“Dean, you know I find you incredibly beautiful.” Warmth spread through my cheeks and to the tips of my ears. “You look exhausted. Did you sleep at all last night?” His warm hand cupped my cheek and I closed my eyes.

“Not a wink. I eventually gave up and went outside to watch the sunrise.” I admitted and he slid his hand down to entwine his fingers with mine. He tugged me along, leading us to my room. He pulled me down and curled around me, tugging me to press my back against his chest. He pulled the blankets over us and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Sleep, Love. I will wake you for dinner. Would you like assistance?” His fingers brushed my forehead and I shook my head, turning my body so my face was tucked under his chin. As soon as I was in his arms, I felt exhaustion overtake my thoughts and body.

“No, I’m good Angel. You’re all the help I need.” I assured him and I fell asleep in my angel’s arms as he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

* * *

After waking up in Cas’s arms and convincing him to change into a more comfortable outfit, we slid into Baby and headed towards the Roadhouse. Cas wasn’t messing around when he said he would wake me right before dinner. He left us ten minutes to spare, so we got dressed and left. He slid across the front seat, leaning against my side.

“Did you sleep okay?” He wrapped his arms around my right arm, gently, to not obstruct my driving.

“I slept like a baby. Thanks Angel.” I swiftly kissed the top of his head before focusing back on the road. He smiled softly, tucking closer against my body. I pulled Baby into the familiar parking lot and led Cas inside, his hand in mine.

“Dean-o! Even on your day off, you’re here. How’s it going?” The young bartender, Martin, smiled at me.

“Just grabbing dinner. You know I can’t stay away from the burgers here man. My boyfriend here also has a thing for hamburgers.” I tucked Cas under my arm with a wide grin on my face.

“Honored to meet the man that stole Winchester’s heart. I’m Martin.” He stuck out his hand and Cas stepped forward.

“I am Castiel. It is a pleasure to meet you.” He smiled politely.

“Sick name, man. If you guys need anything, let me know.” He waved before turning away to help the customers at the bar. I led Cas towards the back table, where Sam and Jess sat.

“Hey guys. How was your day?” Jess beamed as we sat across from them. Cas sat on the inside of the booth and I sat on the outside so I could grab drinks for everyone.

“It was pleasant.” Cas smiled shyly, glancing at me from the corner of his eye.

“Cas made me peanut butter and jelly pancakes for breakfast. The guy has a creative side to him.” I kissed his cheek as a blush spread on his cheeks and down his neck. It was the most endearing thing I’ve ever seen and Jess was eating it up. Sam studied our interaction as if we were under a microscope.

“Interesting choice, but I’d love to try them sometime Castiel! You’ll have to make them for us when we come back for Thanksgiving.” She insisted.

“I would be honored. Dean just has to teach me how to cook them properly beforehand.” He was sheepish again as he stole a glance at me.

“I think I can manage that.” I smiled down at him before meeting Sam’s eyes. He was frowning slightly. “So, who wants a drink? Beer or liquor?” I clapped my hands together and Cas waited for everyone else to answer.

“Beer for us. We have to pack tomorrow, so nothing too strong.” Jess giggled and Sam nodded, agreeing with his fiance. I glanced down at Cas who huffed his response under his breath.

“What was that Angel?” I leaned closer and he repeated himself.

“Could I have a mojito?”

“Blackberry?” I questioned and he nodded with a small smile. “Coming right up.” I pushed myself up and strolled over, giving Martin our order.

“Dean!” A woman’s voice caught my attention and before I could react, arms were wrapped around me and soft lips pressed against mine. The lips were unfamiliar and I tensed up, gently pushing her back. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand as I felt a sudden presence beside me. Cas’s fists were clenched as he glowered at the woman standing before me. I grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently.

“Lisa?” I was bewildered and her smile widened. _Please don’t freak out Angel. No exploding light bulbs._ Lisa paid no mind to Cas as she beamed at me.

“Dean Winchester. I can’t believe you waited for me after all these years.” She was swaying slightly and she batted her eyelashes at me.

“Lisa, you dumped me six years ago for that football-tossing douche. I didn’t wait around for you to realize you made a stupid mistake.” I snapped at her, suddenly angered by her ignorance. Cas was tense beside me.

“But...Sam said…” She seemed lost now, finally acknowledging the man beside me.

“I do not know who you are, but Dean is my boyfriend. I would appreciate it if you kept your lips to yourself.” He stated and his authoritative voice sent a pleasant chill down my spine. Lisa’s eyes widened.

“I’m so sorry. I should go.” She turned and hurried out of the Roadhouse before I could stop her. Yeah, jumping my bones wasn't the best decision, but Sam was the one who told her I waited for her. I turned and kissed Cas’s forehead before pulling him back to the table with our tray of drinks.

“Really Sam? You dragged freakin’ Lisa into this? I get that you don't trust Cas, but he's making an effort! You won't even give him a chance. He's my everything Sam and I really don't give a shit anymore if you approve of him or not. Thanks for ruining the night.” I slammed the tray down and glared at Sam. He looked away, guilt washing over his features as Jess’s jaw dropped. Cas was glaring at the floor, angry energy rolling off him in waves. I turned away and grabbed Cas’s hand, pulling him out of the Roadhouse and towards Baby.

“Do you trust me?” Cas halted our steps and locked his gaze on mine.

“Always.” As soon as the word left my lips, he placed a hand on my shoulder and the entire parking lot spun. In a blink, we were standing on the edge of a mountain, overlooking a valley of sunflowers with a river twisting its way through. The view was breathtaking, but I was still a bit disoriented. I dropped down onto the ground, placing my head between my knees as I tried to calm the nausea. It wasn't as bad as when Anna teleported me, but it still wasn’t great. Cas stood on the very edge, eyes glued to the valley.

“I am very sorry Dean. I should have controlled myself better. When I saw that woman with her lips against yours, this ugly feeling twisted in the pit of my stomach.” He growled.

“That’s called jealousy Cas. It happens to everyone. It's just human, man.” I explained, but that caused him to spin and glare at me.

“I am not human Dean. I should not be-” he paused, “-feeling such a pathetic emotion.” I pushed myself up, ignoring the clenching of my stomach as I cupped his cheek with my hand.

“Angel, I know you aren’t fully human, but part of you is. Human or not, jealousy just means you care about me. Just thinking about April makes my blood boil. You're not the only jealous one in the relationship” I had more to say, but Cas cut me off.

“April is dead.” His words were flat, emotionless.

“What?” I stepped back, eyes wide.

“Michael locked her away with Lucifer and he tore her soul apart. She did not stand a chance against him. I would not wish that fate on anyone.” He pulled his face away from my hand and dropped down on the edge of the cliff.

“I’m so sorry Cas.” I was at a loss for words, so that was the best apology I had for him.

“She was not my mate. It is no matter.” He whispered, voice hoarse. I sat next to him, pulling my legs up to rest my chin on my knees. My arms wrapped around them to keep them from sliding.

“Death is still difficult, mate or not.” He stayed silent though, lost in his own thoughts. “Cas, can I tell you about Lisa?” I was cautious with my words and he nodded. I sucked in a breath before diving into my past. “Lisa was the first person I ever loved. I had moved in with her right after high school. Dad was pissed, but I didn’t care. I gave up my life on the road to be with her, bought a ring and everything. She kept me focused on what really mattered in life and saved me from some really dark places. I mean, Sammy was dating a demon and then the bitch killed our friend Kevin. She tried to kill Charlie too, but I carved her heart out first. God, I remember sitting there, hands covered in her tainted blood with Sammy screaming at me. He stayed with Bobby for a while and Lisa found me at the bottom of a liquor bottle. She pulled me back, so I was finally ready to settle down. The night I was going to propose to her, she disappeared. Everything she owned was gone, the apartment mostly barren. All that was left of her was a note, saying she made a mistake and went to be with the quarterback from high school. She said I was wrapped up in too many secrets and she craved a stable life. Guess I wasn't cut out for an apple pie life. So I went back to hunting, joining my Dad on the road and drowning my sorrows in hookers and beer. When Sam met Jess, he pulled me back. Said I could have a good, safe life. I moved in with Ellen and Jo, registered for culinary school and worked as a mechanic for a few years. After Dad died, I moved into my own home and applied for the internship.” I choked out every word, my arms tightening around my legs as I struggled to finish the story. The man beside me deserved the truth though. “I'm a murderer Cas. I've killed so many because I thought it was the right thing to do. Ruby was possessing an innocent girl and I didn't hesitate to end her life just because she was hurting Sammy. Lisa saved me from myself after that, and I'll never forget that. She chose a different path though, tore my freakin’ heart out. With you, it's different. I feel safe and so warm Angel. I'm sorry about Lisa, I'm sorry about my past, and I'm sorry about my idiot brother.” The last word left my lips and wet droplets dripped onto my hands. I hadn't realized I was crying, but my entire body was shaking. Cas maneuvered me onto his lap, my body curling into his chest.

“Dean Winchester, I love you. I love you with everything I have. Your soul is the purest light I have seen in my entire existence. You are not a monster, Dean. You are human. If being with you makes me more human, than so be it. I realize that Lisa was an important person in your life. I also know that Sam does not trust me and that it pains you. I want to stay by your side despite that and help you shoulder your grief. I did not bring you here to upset you or start an argument. This is my safe space, where I retreat to anytime I am upset. I wanted to share it with you, but I had to gather my thoughts first.” He whispered into my hair, holding me  
closer against him.

“I love you too, Cas.” His gentle lips pressed against my forehead as the warmth I adored blanketed us. I settled into it, my body relaxing. We stayed like that for a bit, before Cas decided it was time to return to reality.

“Your brother is waiting by your car. Do you want to speak to him alone?” He questioned, lifting me up with him as he stood. I was cradled against his chest and I thought over what he said.

“I should probably talk to him alone. Is it okay if I meet you at home?” I studied his expression and he placed me on my feet. He pulled me close, lips pressed against mine as he swiped his tongue across my bottom lip. I opened to him as his tongue tangled with mine, his hand running through my hair to rest behind my head. His other hand snaked around my waist, resting on my hip as he pulled me closer. When he was content, he rested his forehead against mine, a gentle smile on his face as his eyes sparkled.

“I will return you to your car and meet you at home. I love you.” He spoke softly, as if he wasn't certain how many times he could say it. The thing was, I would never tire of hearing those words from his lips.

“I love you too.” I pressed my lips to his once more and in a blink, I was standing in front of a bewildered Sam. He was standing beside Baby, Jess nowhere in sight. “Sammy.” I stated, narrowing my eyes at him before bending over to settle my stomach. The parking lot was still spinning and I placed my hands on my knees to keep from tumbling over.

“Are you okay?” He stepped forward to help steady me, but I waved him off.

“It's just a side effect of Cas’s teleporting. I'm fine.” I gulped down a breath of air and straightened myself. My vision settled and I could focus on Sam’s pained expression.

“Dean, I didn't know you were that serious about Cas. With Lisa, I didn't think she was going to throw herself at you. I was hoping she could talk some sense into you since you weren't listening to me.” He explained himself, words soaked in guilt and I almost pitied him.

“Just stay out of my love life, okay? I don't care that you don't trust Cas. You're not the one kissing him so it doesn't matter. I can protect myself if something ever happened, but I love Cas. Okay, Sam? I freakin’ love him and he would never do anything to hurt me. So stay out of it.” I responded, not interested in accepting his apology tonight. His eyes widened as he stepped back.

“I didn't know, I’m-”

“You didn't care to know Sam! He's not Ruby! Wherever I go, he goes and that's just how it is now. If you can't handle that, fine. He's not the one leaving my life.” I pushed past him and opened the driver’s side door.

“Dean, I’m sorry. Our entire lives, we have hunted supernatural beings. It's kind of hard to wrap my brain around the fact that you’re dating one now. I didn't mean to hurt you.” His eyes were pleading as he placed his hand on the door handle.

“Get in.” I huffed and headed towards Jess’s parents’ house. I glanced at him and my brother had his hands clasped together, staring intently at them.

“I forgive you Sam, but try something like that again and I’m not listening to your apology.” I spoke sternly and he nodded, shoulders relaxing as he looked up at me.

“I still don't trust him, but if he makes you happy, I will try.” At least he was honest about it.

“That's fine Sammy. That's all I ask. Now go make nice with your fiancé and let her know Cas and I are fine.” I stopped in front of the two-story home. He studied me for a moment.

“You really love him?” He asked, pushing open the door.

“I really do.” A soft smile touched my lips and he seemed satisfied with my answer, shutting the door behind him as he left. I rolled down the window before he could walk too far.

“Bye Bitch!” I called, a smirk on my face.

“Later Jerk.” He called over his shoulder and I rolled back up the window, content with the end result of the night. It wasn't what I expected, but I guess that's just life.


	12. Frozen Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I left my weapons in the body, kicking off my jeans so they wouldn’t weigh me down in the water. I dove in without another minute of hesitation. I let the water drag me down the river, kicking my legs to increase momentum. A pale hand shot above the water and I sucked down a gulp of air before letting the water pull me under. If I didn’t struggle, the raging current would drag me along faster. The hand latched onto an exposed rock, fingers slipping as I hit the other side of the same rock. I threw myself forward, grabbing the hand and pulling the shaking body to mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter! I apologize for any typos. I skimmed through it to edit after rewriting the entire chapter today. I thought of a different direction for the story and I hope it doesn't disappoint! The next chapter will take place in the afterlife and you can finally see where the reapers and spirits live! I hope to have the next chapter up soon, but I have a week of exams ahead of me and will be driving home next weekend. I am aiming for it to be posted a week from today. Enjoy! Feel free to leave comments (:

**December 10th**  
**Dean**

 

* * *

Thanksgiving had come and gone, with me teaching Cas how to cook the entire meal. The reaper managed to bake an apple pie by himself and I couldn't contain the pride I felt for him. There was a lot of kissing that day until the family arrived. Sam, Jess, Gabriel, Anna, Jody, Charlie, Dorothy, and the twins came over. Anna pushed most of her food onto Gabriel’s plate when people weren’t looking and she really hit it off with Jody. Gabriel immediately stuck himself between Sam and Jess, chatting away about his latest idea for a new chocolate bar flavor. I think it was chocolate covered strawberry, if I remember correctly. I was a little preoccupied with the announcement I was making after dinner. Cas and I decided that it was a good time to announce our relationship and the twins squealed, spinning around with their new “Uncle Cas”. Charlie had punched my shoulder, annoyed I hadn't told her, but she was happy for us nonetheless. Everyone had left, including Cas in the hugs. They all accepted him and his siblings as part of our family and it warmed my heart. Gabriel and Anna had stayed to help clean up before going separate ways. Apparently, Anna adopted a stray cat in the market square that required a lot of attention and Gabriel had to check his funds and scout out empty buildings. The reaper was set on retiring his supernatural status and embracing the human life by opening up a candy store. Cas and I had quickly settled back into our routine, despite my increase in hours at the Roadhouse. Ellen and Jo had even come to visit and they both took a quick liking to Cas, which earned me another punch to the arm from Jo. Today, Cas and Gabriel had gone to speak with Michael. Apparently, he wasn't fond of the brothers assimilating into the human world. Cas assured me they would not be long and that Michael just wanted their reasons. Anna had ended up staying with me and we decided to take a break from the Azazel research and watch mindless crime shows all day. Criminal Minds peaked her interest so that's what we settled on. As for the Azazel issue, Sam and I had failed miserably at talking to the families Sam found in the archive. They didn't want to speak to us, so Cas erased us from their memory. We decided to ask Charlie to make us FBI badges again, having burned them when we decided to leave the hunting life behind. Charlie was a saint and didn't even bat an eye, simply asked for some time so she could ensure their legitimacy. I planned to pay her with tickets to the newest Star Wars movie and she was very satisfied with the trade. I glanced away from the screen to find Anna’s eyes on me. Her brow was furrowed as she stared at my left shoulder.

“You look like you've seen a ghost Anna. What's wrong?” I chuckled nervously, rubbing a hand over my shoulder. She flinched, shaking her head before settling her stare on my eyes.

“It's nothing. Castiel should be the one to explain.” She mumbled, eyes sliding back to the television.

“Anna, if it's nothing, why does Cas have to explain anything? What's going on?” I pushed, but she was resilient.

“It's just something I noticed, but there's no sense in you panicking if I'm wrong about it. Castiel will know and can explain it to you when he returns with Gabriel.” She shrugged and I deflated, staring back at the television screen.

“Dean!” Meg flung herself into my kitchen, stumbling as she tried to use the wooden stools to catch herself. Terror swirled in her eyes and I had never seen a demon look so emotionally distraught.

“Clarence-” My heart stopped as the name left her lips. She was struggling to catch her breath, which was also odd for a demon. Sudden, sharp pain shot through my left shoulder and a strangle cry escaped my lips.

“Son of a bitch!” I huffed, sweat pooling at my brow and on my torso, soaking through my flannel. “Where’s Cas?” I choked out, my voice strained.

“Michael- he bound Castiel’s power as punishment for bonding with you. On his way back, demons got the jump on him.” She explained as her eyes flicked to black pits. She was glowering at me as if it was my fault.

“We bonded? Like mate-bonded?” A pressure settled on my chest as I struggled to stand. My heart was thundering in my chest and it was difficult to focus on anything else in that moment.

“Accidentally apparently. Surprise!” She mumbled awkwardly.

“How? When? Is Cas okay?” I gasped as she tapped her shoulder, left brow quirked. Anna’s soft gasp caused me to launch myself towards the bathroom. I yanked off my flannel, tossing it to the floor. A handprint was etched into my skin, burning red as the pain seared across my chest.

“Alright Dean-o, let me break it down for you. Castiel has healed you and brought you back to life twice now. To do this, he had to touch your soul. The last time he did this, your soul reached out to his and he was too startled to pull away fast enough. Not that you could help it really, you just sought comfort in his life energy. You two idiots also declared your love for each other and you both have physical marks. His took the form of a handprint and yours took the form a bite mark which is rather kinky Winchester.” Meg explained and I fixed a glare on her.

“Why and how the hell do you know all of that?” I growled, too encompassed by the pain and Cas to be embarrassed.

“I told her.” Gabe decided to join the party in that moment. “The only thing you two idiots haven't done is seal the deal with the horizontal tango.” He winked though the usual shit-eating grin was missing from his face.

“You know what? I'm done talking about this. Focus on finding Cas. Where would they take him?” I grumbled, pacing as Gabe locked eyes with Meg.

“They are followers of darling Luci.” Gabe muttered.

“The river.” Anna jumped up, eyes wide. “They'll take him to the river. It is where Lucifer drowned him before and now he's human.” Her eyes teared up as she placed a hand on my shoulder. I nodded, not even needing to hear the question before the entire world flipped. I landed, sprawled out in a bank of snow. I blinked the icy white from my eyes as I pushed myself up, ignoring the frostbite settling into my fingers before I even stood.

“I'm all about going in guns blazing sis, but Dean here is human. The guy needs something warm.” Gabriel appeared with Meg, my leather jacket, gloves, and a hat in his arms. I pulled the outer layers on, thanking Gabriel as I caught my breath and waited for my stomach to untwist. Anna frowned, practically ignoring us to throw herself over snow to follow the roaring river. Chunks of ice flowed down with the current. The merciless wind chilled us to the bone as I tried to match pace with Anna. Gabriel and Meg headed down the river in the opposite direction. They could move faster together and Gabriel had given me his silver blade for protection. Anna also clutched a blade tightly, her knuckles turning white as she ran. The sun was hidden behind gray clouds and the constant spray from the river hitting the bank did not help the temperature. I pushed on, praying Cas could still hear me. Even being human, it had to still work, right?

 _Cas? Angel, please answer me if you can. We are at the river. Anna brought me with her. Gabriel and Meg are here too. Please, Angel I can't lose you._ I paused for a moment as I dropped down into a snowy cavern. The rolling white had hidden the cavern from my sight and Anna had floated over it. I hauled myself up, holding onto the exposed rock. My limbs ached and my muscles were screaming in protest. I had managed to drop myself back onto the snow, wiping it from my eyes as Anna paused to study my physical state. “I'm fine. Just keep going. I wasn't watching where I was stepping.” I waved her off and she nodded without a word. She pushed on and I struggled to suck in air. _Angel, please. Just one word. I just need one word to know you're okay._  
If there was a god, I would be praying with everything I had. Cas had never been human before. How the hell was he supposed to survive this?

 _Love_. His voice in my head was broken and it twisted my heart.

 _Cas! Angel, where are you?_ I continued to scream Cas’s name in my mind as I ran faster. I even passed Anna as I sprinted. A group of figures huddled on the edge of the river, shielded by the relentless wind and snow.

 _Anna, I think I see them. We have to blindside them or we will lose. There’s four of them and one kneeling on the ground. The one on the ground has to be Cas. Have your blade ready. Don’t leave any survivors. They don’t shut up, so whatever we need to know, Cas’ll know._  
I pushed my thoughts at Anna and she flinched, locking her stare on mine. She nodded, no questions asked. I dropped down behind a snowbank, glancing around the corner, Cas was in clear view now. He was breathing heavily, curled in on himself. I dove behind a closer bank as Anna managed to get even closer. Cas looked briefly to the side, eyes locking on mine for a second before dropping back down.

 _Tall. Leader._ His voice was raspy, even in my mind and I knew we didn’t have much time. I cursed softly, ducking back down to gather my thoughts.

 _Cas says the tall one is the leader, Anna. I got the bitch._ I assured her and she nodded. Gabriel was suddenly beside me, Meg crouched next to Anna, blade ready. I counted down to all of them and on one, we launched ourselves from behind the banks. I grabbed the tall one by the ponytail, yanking her down and sliding the blade through her throat. Blood shot from her throat and a scream tore through the air as she crumpled onto the red snow. My eyes sought out Cas and I lunged forward as one of the demons shoved him off the ledge. His body flailed backwards as he hit the ice water with a sickening splat. “Cas!” I shouted, jumping forward and slamming the switchblade down. The demon sidestepped away, raising his own blade to match mine. Not today bitch. I met each slice, keeping pace with him. _Cas, hold on. Please darling. I’ll be there soon_. I begged, hissing as his blade dug into my thigh. I tore it out, turning it back on him and hitting him twice. Once in the chest, once in the head. His eyes burned orange before his lifeless body hit the ground. I left my weapons in the body, kicking off my jeans so they wouldn’t weigh me down in the water. I dove in without another minute of hesitation. I let the water drag me down the river, kicking my legs to increase momentum. A pale hand shot above the water and I sucked down a gulp of air before letting the water pull me under. If I didn’t struggle, the raging current would drag me along faster. The hand latched onto an exposed rock, fingers slipping as I hit the other side of the same rock. I threw myself forward, grabbing the hand and pulling the shaking body to mine. Cas clutched onto me, spitting up mouthfuls of water as he moved his hands down to not obstruct the movement of my arms. I let my body hit into the ledge as hands grabbed Cas under his armpits and dragged him up. Four arms reached for me and yanked me onto the snowy bank. I coughed violently, shoving the two women away from me so I could get to Cas. He was gone though and before I could process anything, everything in my vision twisted. I landed, sprawled out on my living room floor. The shower was running and there was a lot of yelling from my bathroom. I shoved myself up, stumbling forward as I tried to steady my balance. I hit into the doorframe, eyes widening at the scene before me. Gabriel was trying to coax Cas into the shower, steam filling the entire bathroom as Cas struggled against his brother. He looked up for a moment and flung himself towards me. I dropped forward, catching his falling body in my arms as he let all of his weight settle on me. He didn’t speak, but he didn’t have to. I nodded at Gabe, the reaper frowning as he stepped around us. I helped Cas to his feet, pulling him onto my lap on the shower floor. I wasn’t sure how much time passed, but we sat in the hot shower silently until both of our bodies were thawed.

* * *

  
“Hello Love.” The beautiful sound of my angel’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. My eyes fell on him as he poked his head up from under the mountain of blankets on my couch.

“Angel!” I dropped my paper thin blanket, throwing myself forward. I came to a halt right in front of him, waiting for his approval. He hadn’t spoken since Gabe brought him back here.

“I am human, not made of glass, Love.” He held his arms up, and a sigh of relief escaped my lips. His fingers were not blue anymore and he seemed to be coming back to his senses.

“Is there really a difference?” I huffed a laugh, dropping onto the couch next to him and pulling him onto my lap. He was still naked, except for the boxers hanging on his hips and his body was still shaking.

“You tell me. You are the expert, are you not?” He quirked a smile and tucked his head under my chin, arms wrapped around my center. “You are freezing. Why did you let me hog all of the blankets?” He nuzzled closer, attempting to share the little body heat he managed to establish.

"Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. You just had to get kidnapped in the middle of freakin' winter didn't you? Couldn't have been in the summer with sunshine and 80 degree weather. Nope, it's 6 degrees and blizzarding like it's an ice age." I mused, shutting my eyes as a blanket of calm settled over me.

" I assure you it was not my intention." He mumbled as the other supernatural beings returned to the living room. Anna was sitting on the floor, a dusty book in her lap. Gabe and Meg were arguing quietly in the kitchen.

"I know that, Cas. You didn't ask to be kidnapped. I'm just saying the demon could have been a little more considerate is all." I muttered and Cas pulled away slightly to quirk an eyebrow at me.  
"I realize what I just said. Just forget it."

"As much as I love listening to you ramble, we need to borrow some clothes. I'm not sitting here, dripping in your living room Winchester." Meg grumbled as soon as my eyes fell on Cas’s bleeding arm.

“Uh, yeah.” I mumbled, frowning as I placed Cas on the couch next to me. He made a noise of displeasure which I quickly shut down with a kiss to his nose. I grabbed the first aid kit from under the bathroom sink and left the door to my bedroom open. I knelt down in front of Cas, caressing his arm in my hand and cleaning the wound. I stitched it up and he smiled slightly, trying to hide his flinch.

“Thank-you Dean.” He spoke softly, his eyes glassy as he blinked away the tears forming.

"Do you own anything other than flannel? You damn lumberjack" Meg quipped, clearly annoyed.  
  
"Shut up and grab one or go get your own clothes Princess." I growled as I finished stitching Cas's arm up. I hit Meg’s shoulder and I went by to retrieve a heavier flannel for Cas.

"May I have the green one?" Cas spoke up and I smiled softly.

  
"Sure Angel." I grabbed the green one and handed it to Cas along with a warmer pair of sweatpants. He pulled the clothes on under the blankets with a small smile. Meg narrowed her eyes at me as she finished buttoning up the blue and red flannel. Gabriel had vanished and Anna was still engulfed in the book on her lap. The front door clicked open and we all flinched.

"So Dean, get this. Apparently, a whole trail of fires happened the week after mom’s death in Florida. If Meg's right and it's revenge, there were other families that were targeted besides the group in California and ours. We could try talking to th-" Sam's voice trailed off after he pushed through the front door, laptop bag slung over his shoulder. "Is this a bad time?" His eyes were wide as he studied all of us.

"Just peachy Sammy." I grunted as Cas reached for my hand. I let our fingers tangle.

"That's my cue to leave. Bye Clarence. Later Winchesters." Meg smirked. "Oh and Dean? Thanks for the shirt." She threw in a wink before vanishing.

"I hate that black-eyed-" I growled, but Sam cut me off.

"Dean." His eyes fell on Cas.

"She took my favorite flannel Sam." I grumbled, glowering at where she once stood.  
"I'm sure your closet won't miss it Dean. I'm going to pick up Charlie, I'll be back in twenty." He eyed Cas before opening the door.

"Cas isn't leaving. He’s human Sammy." Cas let out a breath I didn’t know he was holding and Sam’s jaw went slack.

“What? How?” He was bewildered and he dropped onto the couch across from us. Cas squeezed my hand until I looked at him. His eyes were pleading and I lowered myself next to him, letting him scoot onto my lap.

“Michael bound my reaper half. It is similar to when the human side of me died and was trapped into the crystalline bracelet. The sigils he used were unlike anything I have seen before in my entire existence. Gabriel had not seen them before either and he designed most of our binding spells. He is in the archive in Greece currently, searching for anything resembling it. Until it is broken, I will be completely human.” Castiel explained, eyes falling to the ground.

“Why’d he do that though?” Sam was confused, freeing his laptop from his bag.

“Dean is my mate. The ritual is almost complete. It was accidental and I’d rather not go into the details of it. It is something Dean and I have to talk about. To put it simply, Michael is unhappy that a human is my mate. He thinks I killed April on purpose so I could be with Dean.” He huffed, his breath staggering as he let his body collapse into mine.

“Oh. Uh, well this is bad, not unfixable though. I read all about your mating rituals. We could reverse it and have Michael unbind your powers.” He typed away on his computer and I spoke up before Cas could.

“I don’t want to reverse it. If Cas will have me, I want to be his mate Sammy.” I made the decision the second I found out that we had started the mating ritual. It made sense in my head and I wasn’t budging. Cas pushed himself off of me, eyes locking on mine. “We can talk about it later, Angel.” I brushed his crazed hair from his forehead, pressing my lips to the exposed skin before he nodded, settling back against my chest. Sam gulped, studying us a moment before glancing back at the computer screen.

“I know how to reverse it! We have to go to the afterlife though. Let’s go compadres!” Gabriel bounced into the room, hands extended towards Cas and Anna. I tightened my grip on Cas.

“I’m going with him.” I stated, eyes narrowing. I expected Gabriel to challenge me, but he just shrugged.

“Sure, your funeral Dean-o.” He turned and quirked an eyebrow at Sam.  
  
“I’m going too!” He dropped his laptop back into his bag and stood. “I’ll have to call the school, take a semester off and beg Jess to forgive me. It should work though if I hurry.” He mumbled to himself. No way in hell was Sammy sacrificing his apple pie life for us.

“No, Sammy. You’re staying here. I’m going with them and when I get back, I expect to see a 4.0 GPA and a smiling married couple. You hear me?” I stood with Cas curled in my arms. He slid out of my grasp, pushing his shoulders to stand taller.

“I will protect him Sam.” He spoke, determined. It would have been believable if his body still wasn’t shaking and if coughs didn’t shake his frail frame.

“Who’s going to protect you Cas? I am coming with you guys. Gabriel already accepted it. I’ll be back in less than an hour.” He hurried from the house before I could retort anything.

“He called me Cas.” Cas whispered under his breath and he had a small smile on his face. Gabriel rolled his eyes, pulling Anna up off the floor.

“We will be back. Be ready to go in an hour.” He ordered and they both vanished.

“Cas-” I started, but was cut off by his lips crashing against mine. They melded together effortlessly as he licked his way into my mouth. He was relentless, pressing his body against mine completely. My hands cupped his cheeks, holding him even closer until we both needed air.

“Did you mean it? You wish to stay mates?” His blue orbs were sparkling as he stared up at me.

“Of course Angel.” I pressed a swift kiss to his swollen lips before a wide smile broke out on his face. “We can make it official when we get your powers back.” I kissed his forehead. He glanced away for a moment before locking his stare on mine once more.

“What if I stay a human Dean? What if Gabriel’s plan does not work?” He huffed and I grabbed his chin with my hand.

“Human or not, Angel. I want to be yours.” I assured him, kissing him once more before grabbing his hand. “We need to pack food and weapons. I have guns with sigils carved into the bullets hidden all over. They’ll be useful.” I formed a mental checklist and Cas nodded, unable to hide his adoring smile.

“Okay, Love. Just tell me what to do.” He clutched my hand tightly and a growl escaped his stomach. His eyes widened as it finally dawned on him that he needed food.

“How about some blueberry pie first?” I smiled slightly and his eyes formed perfect circles. I don’t know what lurks in the afterlife, but with my angel by my side, nothing else mattered. I could get Benny to cover for me at the Roadhouse and I still had time to convince Sammy to stay here. Everything seemed to plan itself, but I wasn’t stupid. Cas was frail and being human was foreign to him. He put on a brave face for me, but I knew better.

“Love? I would greatly appreciate pie before my stomach decides to eat itself.” Cas wrapped his arms around my back. I had become lost in my thoughts after opening the fridge.

“I’m glad humanity has made you more dramatic, Angel.” My smile didn’t reach my eyes as I huffed a laugh.

“I think you are just rubbing off on me, Dean.” He kissed my cheek before slipping away to retrieve plates. Yeah, I wasn’t losing him. Not now, not ever.


	13. Lurking in the Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I studied our surroundings. The sun was at the highest point in the sky, so it had to be around midday. The forest was silent around us and that was extremely unsettling. There weren't any crickets chirping or flies buzzing around. It was just the sound of our breathing mingled with the running river. Sweat beaded at my brow, droplets running down my face as the blistering temperature dehydrated my body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I wrote the final chapter of this story because it just came to me in my forensic psychology class. Now that I know the definite direction, I plan to have about 6 or 7 more chapters until the end! They are going to be a bit longer than the usual chapters, but I hope you enjoy them! My plan is to maintain my weekly updates, but midterms are rolling around and the semester is getting hectic. This might delay posts a bit. Anyway, this chapter takes place in Avergon (the afterlife) and I hope you enjoy it! As always: kudos, comments, and critiques are greatly appreciated!

**December 11th**

**Dean**

* * *

 

We ate pie in blissful ignorance before raiding my house of all non perishables and weapons. With my backpack ready to go, we huddled together until Gabriel returned with Anna, Meg, and Sammy. Cas was extremely irritable, having to sit with Meg and Anna while Gabriel talked to Sam and I. Our connection had been severed with the loss of Cas’s power and my head just felt empty without his lingering presence. It left an uneasy pressure in my chest. My angel was slumped on the couch, curling in on himself while Anna rattled off about something. His eyes were shut, arms wrapped around his knees. He seemed so defenseless, lost without his connection to the afterlife. A hand clasped my chin, yanking it so my eyes focused on the hazel eyes of the older reaper. Even Gabriel’s glare was lackluster, the sadness and regret seeping through to overpower the fury. I mumbled an apology under my breath and pulled my chin away.

“Look boys, I'm not trying to be a dick. Cassie, he's trying to be strong and play it off like it isn't ripping him apart. Truth is, being cut off from the afterlife is worse than dying. It leaves you with this empty hole in your chest, cutting deeper to settle in your soul. I don't know how his body is even going to handle being back in the afterlife, let alone how his mental state will handle it. The guy has been through a lot, but this- I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy. And trust me, Luci deserves absolute torture. Dean-o, I need you to keep trying to force a connection with his mind. In the afterlife, you just might be able to. Samsquatch, I need you to actually trust us here. You volunteered to come but I will gladly send your ass packing if you question any of us. The portal is going to separate us. Sit tight and I will find you. Comprendo?” The words flew from his mouth, Sam and I nodding to show we understood. It was best not to set the reaper off anymore with a retort or even verbal acknowledgement. He was very wired. “Sam, stand with Anna. Dean, go with Cassie.” I locked eyes with Sam, but he just nodded. His backpack had everything mine did and we were both prepared for a fight. Sam, having less exposure to this world, left my nerves tingling, but he was fearless. I had to hand it to the kid, once the moose set his mind on something, he didn't back down. I dropped down next to Cas, pulling his body onto my lap. He wrapped his arms around my waist and curled as close as he could to my chest. I kept my arms away from his shoulder blades, the area extremely sensitive to the point that I added all of his supplies into my backpack. He couldn't even stand with a pack of his own for a minute before he let it drop, looking utterly defeated. Neither of us mentioned it again and I hoped he would just tell me about it when he was ready. Gabriel stepped over to us, placing a hand on both of our shoulders. “Remember, stay put if you get separated.” With a nod, my vision blacked out, my body going completely numb. Colors flashed before my eyes, colors I didn't even know existed. My lungs were compressed, unable to pull in more oxygen and I watched the world piece together around me until my body landed on solid ground. Everything spun and my body was tingling as if every limb was asleep. When my body got its shit together again, I pushed myself up. The aroma of lupines tickled my nose as I found myself sprawled out in the middle of a meadow. A dry heat assaulted my body, sweat pooling in every crevice.

“Hello Dean. Are you alright?” All the air left my lungs as my jaw went slack. My eyes were drawn to the rough voice of my angel. Cas’s eyes were vibrant, even more than in my realm, if that was possible. His raven hair was glistening in the sun and a black, swirling tattoo stretched up his collarbone and over his right cheek, hooking over his eye for the tip to settle beside the right side of his nose. He had two, rather large scimitars of the sort resting on his back. A frown touched his beautiful lips and he glanced away, his eyes scanning the edge of the forest that surrounded the out of place meadow. “The scar is from Michael binding my power. I hope it fades when the spell is broken.” His voice was soft and I pushed myself up to stumble over to him. I dropped to my knees and cupped his face with my hand.

“Angel, you're beautiful. It's not the scar, it's just you. You look vibrant here.” I pressed my lips to his gently and he came to life under my lips, just for a moment before pulling away.

“Our colors are muted in your realm so we appear more natural to not frighten spirits.” He explained, eyes holding a look of longing in them. “Welcome to Avergon. It is what we call the afterlife.” He spoke softly and I sat down next to him in the flowers. A winding river ran through the meadow, curving into the forest of willow and evergreen trees. While the meadow was serene, the forest had an aura of deception and despair. I couldn't explain the feeling it left in the pit of my stomach, but for some reason, my body could sense it. “Come on, we should find cover. It is foolish to stay exposed out here.” He entwined his fingers with mine and pulled me to my feet.

“Gabe said to stay put though. And honestly, it feels pretty cozy out here while in there looks a bit more intimidating.” Normally, I would run in guns blazing. Act first, ask questions later. Here, in Avergon, I was out of my element. I didn't belong in this world and if someone who did told me to stay put, I figured I should listen.

“Dean, it is a false sense of security. The meadow is tricking your brain into thinking it is safe. If the Volix decide to start hunting, we will have no place to hide or defend ourselves. They can't climb trees so the forest is the best option.” He explained, tugging me along.

“Volix?” I was at such a loss and I thanked any higher power listening that Cas and I had managed to not separate.

“They are similar to the wolves in your realm I suppose. Though they are much bigger, have sharper teeth, and produce venom.” He shrugged, ducking under the short willow trees and winding us around evergreens until the trees cloaked us from the merciless sun.

“Peachy.” I muttered. We followed the river for what seemed like hours. Cas paused and lowered himself on the river bank, deciding it was time to rest. I suppose it could be due to my huffing and puffing. I wasn't completely out of shape, but the pack was heavy and I wasn't used to walking for hours in the blistering heat. He dipped his feet in, a satisfied sigh escaping his lips. I hadn't realized he was barefoot. I studied our surroundings. The sun was at the highest point in the sky, so it had to be around midday. The forest was silent around us and that was extremely unsettling. There weren't any crickets chirping or flies buzzing around. It was just the sound of our breathing mingled with the running river. Sweat beaded at my brow, droplets running down my face as the blistering temperature dehydrated my body. My palate was dry as my cracked lips ached for water. I could probably start a fire and boil the water. Cas was probably thirsty too.

“Dean, I can hear you licking your lips from over here. You can drink from the river, it is safe. There are no parasites or pathogens in Avergon’s water systems. Chemicals are also useless here so it is not contaminated.” Cas smiled gently, cupping his hands to scoop water to his lips. I gulped down the clear liquid with gusto. The water on my tongue was refreshing and I nearly cheered. I dropped down onto a rock, leaning back to let my muscles relax. The mood was calming until a branch snapped behind us. Something growled and I scanned the area around us.

“Please tell me that was your stomach.” I huffed under my breath as Cas shot me a look. That was the closest thing to a bitchface Cas had ever given me and I was oddly proud of the guy. He slid the scimitars off of his back, the silver blades glistening in the scattered sun. A band of dark jewels jutted up the center of each scimitar. Odd sigils were etched into the blade and Cas slid one into my hand, suddenly beside me. He twitched his head, signaling for me to follow and I dropped down into the river beside him. He submerged his whole body, scimitar included. Just his head stayed above the water, hidden by the rock I was sprawled out on before. I followed his motions, peaking around the rock. A dark figure stumbled out of the forest. The body was completely black, save their eyes, which were pale green. The body appeared to mimic the night sky, thousands of sparkles shining like stars mingled with the dark tones. It sniffed at the air, eyes scanning the surface of the river. I ducked back, hoping it just continued on. Whatever it was seemed humanoid and I wasn't sure if Cas and I could handle it.

“You humans better watch your backs. I may be fearful of water, but my sisters are not.” His voice dissipated into the air and Cas’s eyes widened. He snatched my arm, dragging us both out of the river to the other side. The figure stood, leaning on the rock as it watched us scramble. A blue figure shot straight up, perching on the rock. She seemed to be made entirely of water, her eyes a deep shade of purple. She blinked at us, her head tilted.

“I am Cora and this is Arrick. You are?” She spoke pleasantly, though her voice held a touch of curiosity. I glanced at Cas who took a shaky breath.

“I am Castiel and this is my mate, Dean. I hope you take no offense to my hesitation. I am not familiar with nymphs venturing this far out.” He bowed his head, sheathing his scimitar. I held mine out to him, but he shook his head.

“Castiel. Brother of Michael, Lucifer, Gabriel, and Raphael, yes? You hold the essence of a reaper and a human. Where are your wings?” Cora inched forward, her facial features becoming more clear as she came closer. Confusion washed over her features. Cas tensed. Wings? What in the hell was she talking about?

“You are well educated Cora. I am afraid Michael has bound my power.” He glanced away, eyes falling on Arrick.

“I would very much enjoy easing your suffering. May I?” She extended her hand and Castiel flicked his eyes back to her.

“I mean no disrespect, but why would you wish to help me?” He asked and she sighed.

“Michael has banished all of us from the mountains. I want my home back. I only assume that by helping you, you will return the favor. All I ask, is that you speak to Celeste for us. We cannot reach her anymore and she does not know where we went.” She explained and Arrick stepped closer.

“Dean, yes?” The dark figure eyed me and Cas stepped between us as a barrier. “I wish him no harm, Castiel.” He spoke with earnest, yet Cas maintained his position. “You are mates, so you must love Castiel, yes?”

“I feel like that's self explanatory.” I huffed and a musical giggle escaped Cora’s lips.

“What would you do if he was killed in front of you?” His head tilted and I tensed, grabbing Cas’s hand and pulling him behind me. He was surprised by the sudden change in position and I narrowed my eyes at the nymphs. “I do not wish to harm either of you. I only ask because my brethren were slaughtered before my eyes. We do not mate like you do. We are born from the elements and we form clans in the mountains. We were slaughtered and herded away from our homes to the forest by demons. All we want is revenge. I am sure you understand that.” He explained and Cora nodded, eyes trained on Cas.

“Demons attacked you?” He whispered, shock falling over his features.

“You did not know? Michael has been working with demons for years. He thinks that by ridding the mountains of us, he can train the Volix and the Mara to use against hell. He has been working with one named Azazel and another named Lilith to distract reapers from the changes occurring in Avergon. I suppose it has worked.” Cora sobbed, throwing herself into the water and reforming on the bank in front of us. “I know you are not fond of us Castiel. We have reduced the amount of soul energy we feed on though and we never take enough to kill a spirit. I give you my word. Just help us repair Avergon. Please.” She extended her hand again and Cas slid his palm against hers. His entire body went slack, dropping onto the muddy ground. I smacked her hand away, my own hand going through it. She was actually composed of water. “Give him a moment. You would be the first to know if I killed your mate.” She ran her fingers through my hair and smiled.

“This must be weird for you. We are not fond of humans, but we respect that you accompanied your mate on his quest. Without his wings, he is a major target in Avergon. We must go, but you can call on us with this. Use it sparingly.” Arrick tossed a small shell over the river. It landed beside Cora’s foot and she retrieved it, placing it in my hand.

“We will keep our kind out of your way. Just please hurry.” She whispered gently before her body became one with the water. Arrick faded back into the forest, body dissipating into the fog creeping through the trees. Nymphs, really?

“You idiots! I ask you to stay put and you decide to lollygag through the forest! You even managed to find freakin’ nymphs!” Gabe dropped down beside us, Sammy falling onto his ass. Meg and Anna landed more gracefully and everyone just seemed pissed off. I ignored all of that though, my eyes falling on the golden feathers arching behind Gabriel’s back. Reapers have wings.

“You are an angel!” I pulled Cas up as he came back to consciousness. He eyed Gabe for a moment before locking eyes with me.

“Wings do not make us angels Dean.” He muttered, his shoulders drooping as all of the tension left his body. “My wings were temporarily removed when my power was bound and it left searing pain in my shoulder blades. Cora soothed it, but I can see the furrow in your brow. I will explain later Love.” He pressed his lips to my forehead.

“I AM RIGHT HERE DAMN IT!” Gabriel shouted, his voice high pitched. Sam and I flinched, our ears ringing. Even Cas flinched before narrowing his eyes at Gabriel. I touched my fingertips to my ear, shock encompassing my features as I studied the red liquid on my fingers. That son of a bitch made my ears bleed.

“That was incredibly unnecessary Gabriel. We landed in a meadow and you know as well as I do that Volix hunt in exposed areas at midday. I was not subjecting Dean to that.” He snapped, fury in his irises. He freed the tie from around his neck, tearing it in half and handing a piece to Sam. He placed the blue fabric in my ear, soaking up the blood.

“Oh, excuse me! Do you really think nymphs are better?” He retorted, pacing before us.

“Yes, I do. They wished us no harm and they requested our help. Michael is working with Azazel and Lilith. He wishes to take over hell and he banished the nymphs from the mountains.” Cas explained and Meg’s jaw dropped.

“That snake. Who does he think he is? Reapers don't belong in hell! Just being in Avergon makes my skin itch. There are separate realms for a reason.” Meg snarled, freeing blades from her hips.

“Listen up kids. I am the reaper in charge. I cannot fly us all in to attack Michael head on. We need Celeste. I’ll take Cassie and you guys travel on foot. Anna knows the way and I trust that you can defend yourselves against mindless creatures, yes?” Gabe growled, locking his stare on each of us as wings expanded, glistening in the afternoon sun. Cas clutched my wrist and narrowed his eyes.

“I am not leaving Dean.” He stated, his shoulders squared as he challenged his brother.

“I wasn’t giving you a choice baby bro. And until you get your power back, you can’t subdue me. Lover boy can handle himself. Say goodbye and let’s go. The sooner we find Celeste, the sooner we get your power back.” He handed Sam and Anna a pure silver katana each. I suppose he didn’t really need those if he had all of is mojo. Cas muttered a string of foreign words under his breath before, grabbing my face. He yanked me forward, crashing his lips to mine. Despite the audience, our lips melded together and he devoured them hungrily. His tongue swiped into my mouth, tangling with my own before separating as Meg cleared her throat.

“Do not die.” He stated, eyes locked on mine.

“That an order?” I smirked, pressing my lips against his swiftly.

“Yes, you fool.” He pressed his lips to my forehead. “Stay low unless you see the Volix, then climb as high as you can. Sleep up in the trees and do not leave a fire going. Call for Cora and Arrick if you need help. They will be on your side. I love you.” He whispered, tucking himself against my chest as I engulfed him with my arms.

"I love you too, Angel." A dazzling smile blossomed on his face as he held me tighter. Gabriel didn’t waste time and snatched Cas  as soon as we separated, beating his wings down until they were airborne. Sam was busy scanning our surroundings and Anna cleared her throat.

“We should head towards the tallest mountain. That is where Celeste resides. Come on.” Thus, we followed her until the sun set, trekking through the somber forest. We settled on a cluster of thick evergreens. Meg and Anna didn’t hesitate to get situated up in the branches. Sam and I eyed each other, hesitant. I gulped, trying to justify climbing the damn tree. My scream was muffled as a hand clamped down over my mouth, my body being hoisted up onto the tree. Meg glowered at me, shoving my back against the tree. She swiftly tied my backpack above me before knotting my legs to the wide branch.

“You really need to lay off the pie Winchester.” She huffed, catching her breath before glancing down at Sammy. “You want a turn too?” She extended her hands and he held on, allowing her to help him into the tree. One thing was for sure, Winchesters are not limber. She tied him to the branch beside me and ventured further up the tree, grumbling under her breath. I glanced over, meeting Sam’s eyes. We sat in silence for a while, letting the day’s events process before speaking.

“So, apparently mom was just a distraction. She wasn’t a specific target, just a means to an end.” I muttered, finally letting the anger settle in my core. I had managed to suppress it throughout the day, but I couldn’t bite my tongue any longer.

“So she was just a pawn. In the wrong place at the wrong time. Azazel randomly chose her.” Sam sighed with his eyes shut. His head pressed against the thick bark.

“She was supposed to live a long life Sammy. It's why she was chosen. Her death would have taken the reapers by surprise…” My fists were curled tightly into fists as my jaw clenched. “We could have been an actual family. We could have had a normal childhood and a father who didn't throw his life away for revenge and to drown his sorrows in liquor. Our lives would have been so different.” I growled through my teeth as Sam opened his eyes to study me. His gaze was thoughtful, a frown on his lips.

“You wouldn't have met Cas. And I probably wouldn't have met Jess. We would have no idea this world even existed Dean. Is that really what you want?” All the tension left my body as his words settled in my mind. Cas’s gentle smile, tousled and constant sex-hair, and his glistening blue orbs occupied my thoughts. My brain decided to flip to his squared shoulders, clenched jaw, and glowing veins as power flowed through him. Then the images flickered to the reaper shoveling blueberries in his mouth, then to a memory of us driving in baby with the windows down, Zeppelin' blaring through the speakers as the sun rose. I chewed on my lip, letting my brain take me down memory lane as the images kept flickering before my eyes. “Dean, I know I unabashedly opposed you guys and that I hated him at first. But, I've never seen you this happy Dean. Would you really throw away that happiness to change our past? Because I sure as hell wouldn't.” He continued.

“I wouldn't trade Cas for the world. He's my mate and I don't regret any of the decisions I made because they brought me to him.” I whispered, my heart clenching as I longed to curl up with Cas for the night.

“So yeah, Mom was a pawn and Azazel is a complete douche. Forget revenge though. This, us being in an entirely different realm, is so much bigger than revenge. The entire balance of the realms is resting on our shoulders. We need to remember our parents, but this fight is for something so much bigger.” He concluded, turning his gaze to settle on the round moon, lighting the tops of the trees.

“When did you get so wise?” A smirk touched my lips and he chuckled.

“Since birth. Someone had to be the rational thinker in our family. We both know you couldn't handle the role.” He teased and I rolled my eyes, shoving his shoulder with the hand closest to him.

“Night bitch.” I shut my eyes, evening my breathing so I could relax.

“Night jerk.” He retorted, falling asleep easily in the tree. I stayed awake for most of the night, listening to his soft snores and watching the clouds glide by the moon. 

 


	14. Through the Eyes of a Reaper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I can't leave Sammy. I can't. He already lost mom, now our dad. I can't. Look, I don't know what the hell you are. If you are some bringer of death or some twisted dark soul, but to be honest, I don't care. Either put my soul back in my body or take your holy tax accountant get-up and leave." He dropped onto the ground, completely overtaken by guilt and anguish. My gaze narrowed as I tried to determine the source of such strong emotion. It was uncommon for the soul to feel such guilt. Anger and regret typically, but not guilt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to write a chapter from Castiel's perspective. I am hoping this chapter will give you a better understanding of the bond between Cas and Dean, as well as a better understanding of reapers in general. I apologize for any grammar mistakes and for the odd spacing. As a side note, I will be going through and making some minor edits to chapters I have posted previously.
> 
> Thank-you for your support! I hope you enjoy this chapter, because I really enjoyed writing it.

**December 12th**

**Castiel**

* * *

 

 

My eyes blinked open slowly, adjusting to Avergon's intense, glaring sun. It was evident that my human body was not attuned to the hot, dry climate and it was rather unpleasant. Gabriel was seated beside me, his golden wings spread behind him with his back pressed against a willow tree. My brow furrowed as I stretched my limbs. The foreign hum of pain was unpleasant and I did not recall falling asleep.   


"Morning Sleepyhead.  You conked out halfway to the mountain. You were basically dead weight so I figured we could take a short break. And don't worry, your hunter is fine. Meg said he couldn't sleep last night, so he's cranky. Though, Anna won't let Meg push him out of the tree so she's cranky too." My older brother rambled on, eyes focused on the skyline. The mountains were still a fair distance away and they were coated with a dusting of snow at the tips. I was unsure how my body would handle the high altitude, but there was not another option. My thoughts wandered to Dean. The righteous man was not far behind and yet, my heart ached for him. "Also, I gave Celeste a heads up while you were unconscious. We should reach the mountain by midnight if you can manage to stay awake." He added, flicking his gaze to me. Reapers, though unable to carry anyone with them, could still travel instantaneously in Avergon. I had silently prayed that Celeste would travel to us, but it was dangerous for her to leave the mountain. Michael would not hesitate to hunt her down the moment she stepped off. He was not fond of our mother's sister. Though, the feeling was mutual in their case. "Cassie, are you even listening to me?" He pushed his face into my view and I frowned.   


"Sadly, yes." A sigh escaped my lips and he cackled.   


"Dean-o really rubbed off on yah! Where'd my clueless little Cassie go?" He sighed dramatically and I was not amused by his antics. Deciding to gather my thoughts elsewhere, I pushed myself up. "Where are you going?" He scrambled to stand, following me with heavy footsteps.   


"I require food Gabriel and I left my belongings with Dean. I wish to go alone. Stay here." I spoke flatly, glancing over my shoulder at him. His wings deflated as he wandered back to the willow tree. He threw himself on the ground, crossing his arms over his chest. "I will return in a few minutes." I refused to play into Gabriel's childish tendencies. Though more frequent, I still found them incredibly irritating. I let my mind slip into a less than fond memory as my body worked on autopilot to collect Biko plants, similar to, but more bitter than the strawberries in Dean's realm. 

* * *

 

_"Who the hell are you? You son of a bitch!" My head tilted as Dean reached for the firearm. It had been ejected from the glove box and resided on the darkened cement. His hand slipped through it and he let out another string of vulgar language. The man frantically paced before me, glaring at the ground. "What did you do to me? Where'd you take my father? Where's Sammy?" He had an awful lot of questions and his eyes snapped up to glare at me. His stare was complex and very green._

_"Breathe Dean. I assure you I am not here to harm you. Your father needed assistance crossing over into the afterlife. Now it is your turn." It was a standard routine now, coaxing the spirits into the afterlife. This specific spirit just happened to be rather uncooperative. I stepped forward, hand raised to help him cross._

_"You stay the hell away from me? I'm not dead! Sammy!" He flung himself away from me as if I was toxic. The name was familiar. Perhaps it was his brother?_

_"Dean, your brother survived. He will be rescued by first responders shortly. The impact, though earlier than expected, took your life. I am here to help you cross." I did my best to explain the situation and I stepped forward again._

_"I said stay the hell away!" He snapped, spotting his younger brother in the crushed car. He easily phased through the broken metal, attempting to shake the man’s body. His arms went through the motion, but he could not grasp anything._

_"Dean, he cannot hear or see you. Your soul will be trapped here if you do not cross over." I explained, hoping he would understand._

_"I can't leave Sammy. I can't. He already lost mom, now our dad. I can't. Look, I don't know what the hell you are. If you are some bringer of death or some twisted dark soul, but to be honest, I don't care. Either put my soul back in my body or take your holy tax accountant get-up and leave." He dropped onto the ground, completely overtaken by guilt and anguish. My gaze narrowed as I tried to determine the source of such strong emotion. It was uncommon for the soul to feel such guilt. Anger and regret typically, but not guilt._

_"I am not whatever this holy tax accountant is, Dean. My species is no matter. We must cross tonight." His soul was already binding with the realm and he would soon be overcome with rage._ _Dean laughed bitterly, fixing a hopeless stare on my face._

_"Do we have to go right now?" His voice was broken. Despite my hesitation, I decided to appease him._

_"No, I suppose we could stay here a little longer. Will you be more willing if you are able to see the responders saving your brother?" My head tilted._

_"Can I talk to him again?" Hope overtook his thoughts and I frowned._

_"I am afraid not, Dean. If your soul is left in this realm, it will be overtaken with a thirst for revenge. You will no longer feel love for your brother or guilt. All you will know is hate and vengeance. If you cross, your soul will not be altered. You will still be Dean in the afterlife, I assure you."_

_"What kind of fucked up, sick joke is this? Why does that happen?"  His outburst took me by surprise and I thought over his question._

_"I find myself wondering that quite often. No one knows for sure. It is just how the balance between realms is maintained." I stated._

_"How many realms are there?" He stepped towards me, curiosity sneaking its way into his thoughts._

_"There are four known realms." It would cause him no harm to be aware of the other realms._

_"So hell, Earth, the afterlife, and your realm?" Though he knew more than the average human, he was still mistaken._

_"My realm is the afterlife." My gaze narrowed and he rolled his eyes._

_"Then what's the fourth?" The man was very impatient and his emotions were strong._

_"The fourth is naturally uninhabited. Though, it is the reason for your realm's sky." I gestured to the stars, my lips quirking up into a small smile. I was very fond of the celestial realm._

_"So you're telling me outer space is an entirely different freakin' realm?" His jaw hung open._

_"Yes Dean. Why do you think it is so difficult for you humans to explore it? Whatever maintains the balance does not want human interference with the celestial realm. Even my species has refrained from exploring to prevent upsetting the balance." Regret seeped into my tone and I tried to reign in the few emotions I still had._

_"Do you know a lot about space?" He lowered himself onto the grass, shoulders slouching._

_"I find it quite fascinating so I know a decent amount of information, yes." I had prayed to the balance many times for a chance to explore the celestial realm. It was useless, yet I could not manage to stop._

_"Sammy always loved looking at the constellations, but I never knew what that one was." He pointed at a cluster of stars hanging low in the sky. A soft smile touched my lips again._

_"That is Auriga, the Charioteer. It is believed to honor a legendary king of Athens. People believe that he invented a chariot, one that was drawn by four horses. The yellow star in the corner, that is Capella. It is believed that the star has the same surface temperature as the sun." I spoke fondly, enjoying the ability to share my knowledge with the man. His eyes widened as his eyes fell from the constellation to my gaze._

_“How do you know that?” His voice was soft now._

_“The celestial realm fascinates me. When I was younger, my sister would ask about the stars and I did not wish to disappoint her, so I learned as much as I could.” Hope and curiosity swirled back into his mind at the mention of my sister. I frowned, not wanting to give the man false hope. We both turn, startled by the approaching sirens. The first responders freed Sam from the wreck first. When the man regained consciousness, he screamed for Dean and attempted to climb back into the car. A rough sob escaped Dean’s lips as tears cascaded down his lovely face. I could not fight the urge to reach for his cheek. My thumb brushed away a few of the glistening drops and I managed to pull Dean’s attention from the wreckage. Dean’s eyes land on the crystalline band, wrapped around my wrist._

_“May I touch it?” He whispered and I froze. He assumed my lack of response was acceptance and he reached out, brushing his fingers along the cool surface. Time froze around us. The sirens and yelling of the first responders was inaudible and they no longer moved. The band cracked and emotions that were once foreign to me rushed into my thoughts. They overwhelmed my being and I felt my body curling in on itself as Dean fell backwards. I sucked in ragged gasps of air, trying to calm my thoughts and body. I was shaking violently and Dean stared in confusion as I pushed myself up. I managed to refocus on the man before me and I nearly fell again from the impact of his feelings. Pain, grief, guilt. It all washed over me and settled in my breaking heart._

_“Dean, I am so sorry. You are in so much pain. What is wrong?” I tried to search through his thoughts and memories, but it was very difficult._

_"You just told me I'm dead. What game are you playing?" He was confused and defensive. I could not blame him for the way he was feeling._

_"I could not truly feel your pain prior to this moment. It is foreign to me. Why do you feel such horrid guilt?" I leaned forward and he flinched back._

_"I practically raised my little brother. After losing Mom, and now Dad, I can't just cross over into some mystical realm and abandon him. Please, I know I said I'd be more willing, but this? It's too much man. I can't leave Sammy like this." He begged, watching as Sam fell to the ground, sobbing as they dragged Dean's body out from the car. It was a heart-wrenching scene._

_"Dean." My voice was soft._

_"Please don't make me cross." He sobbed, grabbing onto the front of my overcoat._

_"Dean, I will return your soul to your body. You must promise me something." It was a rash decision, but it had to be done._

_"Anything." He immediately perked up, holding tightly._

_"Do not live recklessly. Watch yourself as much as you watch over your brother. You must wear your father's cross at all times, okay? I will most likely be hunted after this and will not be able to watch over you often. If the others know I disregarded the balance like this, I will be killed." I freed the cross from my overcoat pocket. I know not why John Winchester placed it in my coat, but I was grateful for it now. I let my life energy reach into it, etching small sigils into the iron._

_"What?" His eyes widened as he released me. I put the necklace over his head._

_"Promise me, Dean. Please." Those were the only words I could manage._

_"I promise." Good choice, Dean. I smiled slightly and took a breath, focusing all of my energy into my fingertips._

_"Be safe." I touched my fingers to his forehead and he collapsed. His soul dissipated, reconnecting with his body. His physical form convulsed and he shot upright, eyes wide before he sucked in a gasp of air and collapsed back onto the wet cement. Sam was by his side, screaming for the first-responders. A warmth settled in my heart. I ensured they reached the hospital safely before returning to the afterlife._

_"Welcome back Cassie. Congratulations on getting your feelings back. You big idiot." My eyes widened as I studied the golden wings peeking out from behind the willow tree. I had not seen them in years._

_"Gabriel."_

* * *

 

That was the day I learned the truth. That my humanity was taken from me, sealed in the band that binds spirits to Earth and allows us to cross over. To this day, I do not know why I allowed Dean to touch it and I do not know why his touch broke it. It did not really matter anymore, but the curiosity still lingered in the back of my mind.   


"Time's up." Gabriel's hand startled me from the memory and I rubbed furiously at my eyes. I was not used to my tear ducts functioning correctly and the droplets escaping my eyes were rather bothersome. "Whoa, did I do that?" Gabriel's gaze softened for a moment as he observed the tears.

  
"No, do not be foolish." I retorted, turning away to wipe the last few tears that had escaped. Gabriel gave me another moment to collect myself before lifting me into his arms. The entire motion seemed rather effortless and I shut my eyes.

  
"Were you thinking about Mom?" He spoke softly, dancing around the subject.

  
"No, were you?" I countered, hoping to deter Gabriel from questioning me further.

  
"Yes." His voice was small and I frowned.  He hauled me up into his arms, extending his wings and taking off. “Why did she put herself through all of that? Why have more children? I love you guys, but why?” His voice was hardly audible over the wind and the flap of his wings.

“I wish I had an answer for you Gabriel. If she had not, Samandriel and Anna would not have suffered.” My tone was dismal and regret integrated into my thoughts.

“I mean, I am happy that you are here Cassie. I don’t think I would have maintained my sanity without you since our other lovely siblings are bags of dicks. I just wish mom would have made different decisions.” He sighed, eyes trained on the skyline.

“I am very sorry Gabriel. Had I known-” He cut my words off though.

“I don’t blame you Cassie. I was just thinking out loud. Don’t worry about it.” Gabriel huffed and the rest of the flight was silent. Both of us, lost in our own thoughts. We eventually reached the high mountain and I knew something was wrong. The moment we touched down, my body collapsed, curling in on itself as my lungs screamed for air. They tightened as they struggled. My eyes struggled to open as they settled on a tall woman with light purple hair cascading in waves down past her shoulders. She settled on the ground before me, a lovely smile on her delicate features.

“Hello, my sweet boy.” She caressed my cheek and air inflated my lungs. My body uncurled from itself and I pushed myself to my feet. “Better?” She pecked my cheek with her lips before greeting Gabriel in a similar manner.

“Yes, thank-you Celeste.” I straightened my stance and she glowed.

“I have everything prepared. It is in the Eastern meadow. Before we begin, you boys must be aware of the consequences. I will need to borrow some of Gabriel’s energy to counter Michael’s spell. He used very dark and ancient magic.” She spoke softly, beckoning for us to follow her towards the meadow of tiger lilies.

“You got it! Luci is all chained up, so take what you need!” Gabe bounced forward, throwing himself into the lilies and rolling around. I sighed, following the escaped petals as they scattered into the air.

“While that is very kind of you my dear, you must be acknowledge the consequences. You and Castiel will be out of commission for a while. If this is successful, you must return to the terrestrial realm and heal. Castiel, you will return to your mate and he will be given the responsibility of protecting you. Gabriel, you will return with Meg and she will be given the responsibility of protecting you. You must not interact until you are healed. It would draw too much attention to you both if your energies mingle.” She explained, a serious gaze sliding from me to Gabriel. He pushed himself up, plucking petals from his hair before squaring his shoulders. His wings expanded and he nodded.

“I think we will manage.” He assured her and she sighed, locking her gaze on my stare. I nodded, agreeing with a small smile. I was not opposed to recovering in Dean’s arms.

“Okay. Castiel, please step into the circle of rocks from the Northern waterfall. Gabriel, step forward and place your foot on the red rock.” She retrieved a group of flowers from the bowl residing by her feet. She entwined the lupines with the flax, entwining a thick bracelet over the crystalline band on my wrist. She placed a thinner bracelet on Gabriel’s wrist and one on her own. She took a breath before speaking in an old tongue, one I did not recognize. White light pulsed from her fingers, lingering in the air as it danced around the circle. A gentle breeze brushed my hair back as her musical voice concluded the final verse. Golden light emerged from Gabriel’s fingers, wrapping around the bracelet before tangling around my arm. Celeste’s white energy secured itself around my other arm and the energies met at my forehead, pressing between my eyes. Power surged through me, the crystalline bracelet cracking more than before. Energy vibrated on my skin and in my veins, overwhelming my being and forcing me to my knees. I cried out, my wings bursting from my back as they expanded, stretching over my curled body. My body surged up, letting my wings carry me from the circle. I had no way of fighting the motion, simply following the pull. Conscious thought left my mind and all that was left was energy and emotion surging through. I landed sprawled out in the middle of the woods, incredibly disoriented and breathing heavily. I had no idea where I had crash landed. Everything that had happened was hazy and I scanned my surroundings. I could feel the power running through my veins, but I could not grasp it or channel it in anyway. Hot pain seared through my shoulder and I clutched it tightly, falling back onto my knees.

 _Cas!_ Dean’s strangle cry etched through my thoughts and I forced myself onto my feet. _Angel, please!_ His pain made a home in my mind and I tried to locate him. My mind scanned over the forest and I pushed myself into the sky. My wings protested, but I was not in the mood or state of mind to listen to them. I dropped down onto solid ground, my wings curling around Dean’s body.

“I am here love.” His eyes opened at the sound of my voice and the lovely shades of green were replaced with empty darkness. “Dean?”


	15. Enter Deanmon?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That’s my line bitch.” I growled, slicing the blade down her forearm. Bright light seeped through the gash and she cried out, her grip loosening enough for me to slip out. I hit the forest floor, leaves scattering about. My knife slid into my side when I landed, cutting through my flesh. I grunted, running my hand through my blood and whispering the enchantment Gabriel taught Sam and I. When Eve hit the ground, I launched myself forward, placing my bloody hand on her wound. I muttered the binding word in Enochian and shoved her backwards. “You will stay here until I leave Avergon. You will not cross the border into my realm ever.” I shouted, repeating the binding word. Her body convulsed and a growl tore from her throat. She spat at me, her spit hitting my cheek. She whispered words and the world swayed around me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I finished my senior seminar presentation earlier than expected, so I was able to get some writing done this weekend! I'm leaving on Friday to go home since next week is my spring break, so I'm hoping to spend some extra time writing while I'm home! My goal is to have at least two more chapters posted! When I wrote this chapter, I decided to add some more layers to the story, so this story might be a bit longer than expected. I hope you all enjoy it and please let me know what you think in the comments! Have a great week (:

**December 12th**   


**Dean**

* * *

 

Something was wrong. My instincts were spasming as if a silent alarm was tripped. Of course I was tied to a freakin’ tree, unable to reach the switchblade in my back pocket. I maintained even breathing and cracked one eye open. My line of sight landed on a young woman, perched on the branch a few inches in front of me. Her lavender wings were curled tightly behind her. Her eyes were baby blue and they watched my every move.

“Hey gorgeous.” A teasing grin played on her lips and I slid my gaze to my surroundings. Sammy was gone and the branches above were barren. “Don't worry about your friends sweetheart. They each get a special friend too. Do you want to do this the hard way or the easy way?” She watched me carefully, her body moving in time with the swaying of the branches.

“What’s the easy way?” I coughed, slowly stretching my muscles as far as they would go before sliding my hand under my thigh. I pushed the knife up as she thought over my question. 

“Well, I untie you and bring you to my nest. We mate and then you help me kill darling Castiel.” She batted her lashes, her wings fluffing as if the mere thought was ecstasy to her. My stomach twisted and I swallowed harshly. Try again bitch. 

“And the hard way?” I narrowed my eyes, running my hand along the bark until my fingertips touched cool metal. Her eyes darkened as a light gray aura surrounded her body.

“I can rewrite your entire genetic code. You will not be you anymore Dean Winchester. It will take a little while, sure, but you will not remember Sam, Charlie, or even Castiel. All you will know is the touch of hell and my body. Is that what you want Dean? I can oblige.” A wicked grin spread on her lips. That shut me up real quick. “Yes, Dean. I can make you a demon. It is my gift. I twist people into monsters.” 

“What the hell are you?” I was bewildered. What kind of freakin’ reaper could change your species? A spell, there had to be a spell that Gabriel taught us. Something to at least hinder the demon in front of me. 

“My name is Eve, sweetheart. I am the mother of monsters and I have a lot to bring to your realm. It will be a lot more enjoyable with a mate by my side.  Have you made your decision? I am afraid I am not very patient.” She inched closer and I made one of the dumbest decisions in my life. 

“Go to hell.” I gripped the knife tightly and slid it through the rope, throwing myself over the edge. I free-fell for a moment before claws dug into my side as strong arms wrapped around my center. 

“That was foolish.” Eve growled in my ear and I smirked, tightening my grip on the pocketknife. 

“That’s my line bitch.” I growled, slicing the blade down her forearm. Bright light seeped through the gash and she cried out, her grip loosening enough for me to slip out. I hit the forest floor, leaves scattering about. My knife slid into my side when I landed, cutting through my flesh. I grunted, running my hand through my blood and whispering the enchantment Gabriel taught Sam and I. When Eve hit the ground, I launched myself forward, placing my bloody hand on her wound. I muttered the binding word in Enochian and shoved her backwards. “You will stay here until I leave Avergon. You will not cross the border into my realm ever.” I shouted, repeating the binding word. Her body convulsed and a growl tore from her throat. She spat at me, her spit hitting my cheek. She whispered words and the world swayed around me. 

“You will regret that, you ape.” She hissed, wings flaring out as she struggled against an invisible force, holding her in place. 

“Yeah, that’s the story of my life.” I wiped the spit from my cheek and closed my blade, sliding it back into my pocket. My eyes scanned the forest floor as I ignored the string of curses escaping Eve’s mouth. “Come on Sammy.” I huffed under my breath, stepping around the area. There was always a sign, something to show direction. My eyes landed on an overturned rock. East, he was dragged to the east. I trekked off in that direction, ignoring the pain blossoming at the back of my head. I followed the pressed down grass for hours until my legs faltered, sending me tumbling to the ground. A memory slid into my thoughts, overwhelming the present day and pulling my consciousness inward.

* * *

 

_ “Dean!” Cas shouted from the bedroom. I paused, hands covered in raw hamburger meat and spices. I waited for him to continue, but silence was hanging in the house. The bedroom door flew open and Cas sprinted from the bedroom, dropping both feet on the tile and sliding towards me. I pulled my hands from the bowl and extended my arms, hooking them under his armpits as he slammed into me. Laughter shook his body as he wrapped his arms around my center, his head resting on my shoulder.  _

_ “Whatcha doing Speedy Gonzales?” I chuckled, wrapping my arms around him while extending my hands to not get raw meat on his back. He was wearing the softest sweatpants I owned along with my dark green t-shirt. He had fuzzy blue socks on his feet and I had to bite my lip to not laugh harder.  _

_ “He is the mouse from Looney Tunes, yes?” Cas blinked up at me, a carefree smile on his face. We had watched cartoons the day prior, improving Cas’s appreciation for them. Looney Tunes was his favorite.  _

_ “Yep. I’m proud of you for getting the reference.” I kissed his forehead and he hummed, pleased with my response and praise. “So what made you sprint from the bedroom?” I questioned, amusement in my gaze. His eyes brightened as he separated from me. He pointed at his feet with a childish grin on his face. _

_ “Charlie gave me these! She said they are perfect for sliding around the kitchen. She is very wise Dean.” He proceeded to slide around the kitchen as I shaped the burger patties and washed my hands. I held my arms up, waiting for another armful of reaper. Cas didn’t disappoint. He caught my eye and flew full speed at me, not holding back.  _

_ “Son of a bitch!” I gasped as we both went tumbling to the ground. My back screamed in protest as Cas sprawled out on top of me. Cas gave me a sheepish grin, brushing his fingers along my forehead. Electricity shot down my spine, soothing my pain. _

_ “Sorry Love. We do not have socks in Avergon and I wanted to test Charlie’s theory.” Pushing the shock from the lack of socks to the back of mind, I tilted my head.  _

_ “It’s okay.” I kissed his forehead swiftly, pulling us up so he was sitting on my lap. “What was Charlie’s theory?” A rosy blush brushed his cheeks and neck as he glanced away. _

_ “She said that gliding with socks feels like flying.” He spoke softly, his voice hardly audible.  _

_ “Well? What’s the verdict?” I tried to meet his gaze, but he kept looking away. I placed my fingertips on his chin and gently guided his eyes to meet mine.  _

_ “You do not care how I know what flying feels like?” He whispered and I smiled gently. Of course I was curious, but why push him? _

_ “I have learned that if I need to know something, you will tell me. I also learned not to push you when you are embarrassed. So, no Angel. I just want to know if Charlie was right.” Cas beamed as soon as the last word left my lips.  _

_ “Surprisingly, she was not far off. It gave a very similar feeling. Can we get more socks Dean?” His head tilted and an adoring grin formed on my lips.  _

_ “Of course Cas.”  _

* * *

 

I blinked as the memory faded from my thoughts. That was the day we raided Walmart and bought way more fuzzy socks than any person needs. I’m pretty sure Cas has worn every pair since then too. We even spent entire nights sliding around the kitchen and making challenges for each other. I had no idea why my subconscious decided to pull that memory forward, but I was grateful for it. Wait, flight. I paused from following the fading path, brow creasing. Reapers could fly. I followed the trail until it ended and stood, staring up the side of a rocky cliff. Freakin’ reapers. A string of curses escaped my lips and I silently thanked my subconscious for the reminder. If the reaper took Sammy up the cliff, that’s where I was going. I took a deep breath and began hauling myself up the side of the cliff. My clothes stuck to my body with sweat as I wiped the salty water from my eyes. Dirt particles irritated my eyes and I huffed, pulling myself up onto level ground. I made it about a quarter of the way up and I was utterly exhausted. I shut my eyes, letting the sun bake me in the overgrown grass. When I opened my eyes again, the sun was setting and I cursed at myself. I must have fallen asleep and I had no way of knowing how long I was out. I studied my surroundings, hoping there was water or food of some sort. My luck was falling short though and I found myself surrounded by towering sunflowers, swaying in the dry breeze. 

“Dean Winchester?” A gentle, musical voice sounded from a small opening in the rocky wall. It sounded cautious and I yanked my switchblade from my pocket, pushing myself to stand. 

“Who’s asking?” I growled, tensing as a figure emerged from the cavern. I cursed myself for not noticing the spot sooner. The figure was a petite woman. She had dark, raven colored hair that hung down to her waist in loose ringlets. Her facial features were soft, a kind yet hesitant smile on her lips. Her eyes were incredibly blue, like oceans encased by her irises. I knew those eyes. “Are you-?” My words hung off though and I couldn’t bring myself to finish the question. 

“I am Castiel’s mother, yes. You are his mate?” Her head tilted and I could see where Cas got his habits from. I nodded, closing the blade and sliding it back into my pocket. “It is a pleasure to meet you. I am afraid you do not have much time Dean, before your memory will fade. I can sense Eve’s curse.” She spoke solemnly and I frowned. She held her hand out, palm up.

“Wish we could’ve met under other circumstances. What curse?” I shook her hand and she pulled me into a hug, wrapping her arms tightly around me. 

“Eve began the process. She is turning your soul into a demon’s soul Dean. I am so sorry. I would love to speak to you more, but you must find my son. Your memories will fade. I know not why the process is so much quicker for you, but I cannot change it.” She brushed my hair back before sliding her palm down to caress my cheek. She freed the sunflower from her hair and extended her hand. “May I see your blade?” She whispered and I obliged, handing her the closed blade. She entwined the sunflower around it and blew on the blade. The sunflower became slowly encased in a crystalline material, similar to Castiel’s bracelet. “Now you can return to me one day.” She smiled.

“How?” I studied the blade, brow furrowed.

“That is not important right now. You will know when it is time. You must go now. Follow the river and it will bring you home.” She assured me, kissing my forehead. The kiss eased my thirst and hunger and she laughed at my bewildered expression. 

“Home?” I was having a hard time following what was happening in that moment. 

“Home is whatever you need it to be. Even if you forget me, forget this conversation, and even forget your mate, remember those words.” She stated and the world shifted around us. We were suddenly on top of the cliff, sunflowers stretching up over the ledge to entwine around a man’s ankles. The man was sprawled out on the forest floor. He really was a behemoth of a man. 

“I can’t forget Cas. He’s-” My words trailed off though. I lost them and my mind was blank. What in the hell was I just talking about? 

“I know sweet boy, but I promise. My son will understand. It is not your fault. You did what you had to, to survive. Now go. When your brother awakens, get to the river.” Castiel’s mother spoke encouragingly, a soft smile on her face. 

“What is your name?” I spoke suddenly. It was the only thing I could manage to say coherently. 

“Dahlia. My name is Dahlia.” She glanced over at the setting sun, eyes sad. 

“Dahlia, you have to come with me. Come with me to the river.” I begged, but she shook her head.   


“I am so proud of how far Castiel has come. I am so thankful that he has a man like you as his mate. I cannot leave this ledge and he cannot come here. Only humans can exist on this land. Michael placed me here for protection. Please, hurry. If you remember, tell him that I am so proud of my sweet boy and that I will always love him. I do not blame him for anything. Go Dean.” She pressed her lips to my forehead once more and dissipated into the hot air as the man surrounded by sunflowers stirred. He groaned before startling awake, yanking his legs free from the flowers. 

“Dean?” He grumbled, rubbing his hand down his face before pushing himself up onto his feet. 

“Do I know you?” I studied his lengthy frame and shaggy hair. His eyes widened as he freed a blade from his pocket. I grabbed mine and flipped it open, ignoring the burning sunflower on the blade. I cried out as the sunflower burned so badly, it scorched my fingertips. I threw it at the ground, scowling at it. 

“Dean! It’s Sam, your little brother?” It’s like a switch flipped at the sound of his name. Sammy. The big moose. I rubbed my eyes and studied him. 

“Sammy? I’m sorry. I must’ve hit my head or something.” I grumbled.

“Are you okay Dean?” He closed the blade, stepping forward with his hand outstretched. 

“No, but I will be. We need to follow the river. Come on.” I mumbled, chanting the mantra in my head. Follow the river, it will bring you home. 

“Follow the river? Really Dean?” He was baffled. I retrieved my blade from the grass, blowing the dirt off of it. 

“I don’t know Sammy! I don’t know why, but we have to. Just trust me!” I grumbled, pushing passed him to head towards the river after returning my blade to my pocket.

“Dean, a few seconds ago, you didn’t even recognize me!” He shouted after me as I weaved through the trees. 

“Something happened after you were taken. Something bad and only Cas can reverse it. If we follow the river, it will bring us home. It will bring us to what we need!” I turned to snap at him before running into a tree. I punched the bark, angered by my fading memories. 

“Who told you that?” He put a hand on my shoulder and I pulled away from him. I stomped forward until the river was a few inches from my feet. 

“I DON’T KNOW! I’m losing my mind here Sammy and I really need you to trust me.” Sam flinched back, freeing his pocket knife from his belt. He raised it hesitantly, stepping back. “Sammy?” I thought we were passed the stabbing each other phase. 

“Dean? Your eyes-” I blinked slowly, brow furrowed. A sharp pain shot through my forehead and I fell to my knees. When my eyes decided to open again, my gaze fell on the calm water. Black, bottomless pits stared back at me and I fell backwards. 

“Son of a bitch. I’m a-” I sucked in air, hands clenching into fists in the grass behind me. “I’m a demon.” Bile shot up the back of my throat and I lurched forward again, coughing into the river. 

“Not yet.” A man’s voice taunted. I pushed myself up, turning to face the hoard of dark souls behind us. Sam spun, standing defensively beside me. Eight demons surrounded us, backing us up against the river. “Eve’s toxin is getting to you. When you exchange blood with the reaper who cursed you, it expedites the process. Dumb ass.” Shit.

“What process?” Sam turned to face me, eyes wide. “Dean!” He shouted and I flinched, eyes glazing over. 

“He’s becoming a demon. Courtesy of the mother of monsters. It’s the newest trick she learned and Dean’s the guinea pig! You should be honored!” The man clapped, a wide grin on his smug face. “You know what also speeds it up? Pain.” He smirked and the demons moved forward, closing in on us. My blade slipped through my fingers as my mind went blank. A body was suddenly in front of me, the fog lifting ever so slightly from my mind. I was encased by dark, iridescent wings. Hues of blues, greens, and purples stretched through the inky feathers and I was lost in their beauty, so I shut my eyes. That was, until a deep voice spoke. 

“I am here love.” I turned my eyes to lock on the beautiful blue irises before me. The man, the owner of the wings, was gorgeous. An adonis, truly. I searched my brain, his name slipping to the edges I could no longer reach. “Dean?” Concern wiggled its way into the man’s loving gaze. He spun, hand raised. Fury replacing the previous emotions. The main demon flew into a large oak tree, the tree cracking in half as the bark shattered. His wings spread wide behind his back and my jaw went slack. The tall man beside us stabbed another demon through the neck, light blazing through its eyes before the lifeless body crumpled to the ground. The other demons vanished, fleeing from the powerful duo. A gentle warmth blanketed me and my body relaxed. I fell back to my knees, overwhelmed by the feeling. 

“Follow the river and it will take you home.” I whispered and the winged man knelt down in front of me. 

“Love?” He raised a hand and I cringed. 

“Follow the river and it will take you home. Follow the river and it will take you home. Follow the river and it will take you home.” I repeated and shut my eyes tightly. “I don’t know where home is!” I cried and the feathers of the man engulfed me, the warmth strengthening. 

“Dean, Love, it is okay.” The man whispered gently, pulling me in his arms. 

“It's not! I don't know you. Who are you?” I regretted the words instantly, as I could see the man’s heart breaking reflected in his eyes. He pressed his fingers to my forehead the same time his lips touched mine and everything went black.


	16. Finding A Cure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Castiel?” Jess’s feet softly padded down the steps. They settled on the ground and her hand gently touched my knee. My wings expanded, stretching each muscle as I exposed Dean and I to the cool air of the basement. I uncurled my body, freeing myself from Dean’s embrace and slid off of his lap. My head tilted as I studied the hunter’s sleeping form. I had no recollection of moving after connecting our minds while I was on the floor. “Could I talk to you about something?” Her voice was a soft whisper and she took a step back from me. My eyes fell on Sam, who was currently drooling on a rather large and dusty book. He must have come back down after sleeping for a few hours. I could only assume it was morning, now that Jess has returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I am so so so sorry that it has taken me so long to update! I hit a small bump in the road. I am home for spring break currently, but left one of the scenes that I wrote in a notebook in my house up at school. I really wanted to get this chapter posted though, so I had to improvise a bit. I rewrote it a few times until I was happy with it, so I hope you all enjoy it. I hope to have another chapter posted by Sunday, but that might be stretch because I have a lot of school work to catch up on. At the latest, it will be posted by next Wednesday! Kudos and comments are always appreciated. Thank-you guys for your support!

**February 18th**

**Castiel**

* * *

 

My fingers gently carded through Dean’s overgrown hair, brushing it up to expose his forehead. I pressed my lips to the smooth skin and exhaled, allowing a small amount of life energy to escape. The energy passed through Dean’s skin, settling into his soul. Though I was not strong enough to reverse Eve’s curse, I was able to slowly fight it off to subdue it. Dean had been unconscious for most of the past two months, slowly fading in and out whenever his soul was exposed to energy. His memories had returned, yet his soul had darkened immensely, altering his demeanor and perspective. On cue, he stirred, his black eyes blinking open. I found myself thoroughly missing his forest green gaze. My smile was gentle as he fixed a glare on me before a taunting smirk touched his lips. I braced myself for his demeaning words. 

“Hey sweetheart. Yah change your mind?” He mused, his gaze straying from my face to observe my wings. “Because I’m ready for some angel-demon action. Are you into blood play? Guess it doesn’t really matter if you are. You’re too pathetic to fight back.” He spat, fury dancing in his eyes. 

“I will never hurt you Dean. You know that.” This conversation was fairly standard each time he woke. He cackled mockingly, rolling his eyes. His eyes flicked to a dulled green and he fought against the shackles, rubbing his wrists raw as tears welled in his eyes. I sensed Sam’s presence behind me and sighed. Dean tended to be theatrical when Sam was present. 

“Sammy! It’s a real funkytown.” His voice was soaked in panic as the shackles smacked against the metal chair. 

“Cas, just shut him up.” The younger Winchester grumbled, ducking under my wing to sit at the desk behind Dean. I turned my head, blinking slowly as I restrained Dean’s vocal chords. Dean grabbed his throat and proceeded to scream every vulgar word he could conjure up in my mind. I did my best to place a mental wall between our minds, but he was strong and stubborn. At least the room was silent. “I don’t know why you torture yourself like that Cas.” Sam grunted, sliding his hand down his face as he flipped through a lore book that Bobby had owned. Dean had an entire collection hidden in his shelves that Sam and I had found the week prior.

“What is funkytown?” My head tilted as I forced Dean from my mind. He continued to fight against the restraints, fury fueling his admirable struggle. 

“It’s a code word we used when we hunted together. It means that there is a gun pointed at him.It’s… a long story.” He explained and I glanced at Dean in horror. “Cas, I know you didn’t point a gun at him. He was trying to trick me into disabling you to free him. I am actually insulted he thinks that little of my intelligence.” He grumbled. I turned to study the youngest Winchester. Deep purple bags had settled under his eyes. He had not been sleeping well, despite Jess’s protests. Sam glanced up and studied my posture. I turned slightly, noting the moment Dean slipped back into unconsciousness. Sam cleared his throat, pulling my attention away from Dean. 

“Yes Sam?” His eyes widened as my head tilted. I sensed that he was harboring a question and that he would not be able to focus on research until he asked it. 

“Are your wings always out now?” He seemed a bit uncomfortable, though I had no idea why. 

“I do not have the energy to hide them while I am out of the public eye. I believe Dean is more important at this moment.” I responded honestly, feeling the wave of exhaustion shake my consciousness. Using my life energy to repair Dean’s soul was physically and mentally draining. Sam seemed apologetic as he looked away. “Do you mind if I rest for a moment?” My body lowered to the ground, curling up to lean against Dean’s legs. 

“Cas, you can head upstairs. Jody has a guest room right off the kitchen.” It had slipped my mind that we were in the sheriff’s home. Her house was on the outskirts of town, an ideal location that lacked neighbors. Every night, she has insisted on making dinner for Sam, Jess, and I. She also stationed herself outside the room, keeping watch while we searched for different resources and books of lore throughout the passing months. Though my life energy could keep the curse from tainting Dean’s soul further, I could not revert what Eve started within him. Even at my strongest, I do not know if I would be enough. Thus, we have been searching archives and tombs for lore on curing demons. Our efforts have been unsuccessful so far. “Cas?” I startled slightly, eyes wide as they focused on Sam’s crouched frame. He was squatting before me, concern in his hazel eyes. 

“I would rather be down here, Sam.” I shook my head, meeting his gaze before leaning back against Dean’s legs. 

“Okay.” He paused, hesitating before standing. “I’m going to head up to bed. If you need anything, just holler. Jody is working the graveyard shift at the station and Jess is at her parents’ place for the night.” He squeezed my shoulder before slipping up the steps. I closed my eyes, steadying my breath before pushing him a grateful thanks in his mind. He could not respond, but I hoped he heard it. I allowed my mind to prod against Dean’s, slipping into a deep sleep as our thoughts entwined. 

* * *

_ My feet brushed against the rotting wood, the dock swaying with the current. The salty, marine air danced under my nose as I walked along the wood. The sun was rising on the horizon and a pleasant calm settled over me as I continued forward. My eyes settled on a man, lounging on the edge of the dock with his feet dangling to touch the water. Dean had never seemed so at peace and I hesitated, not wanting to disturb him. _

_ “Did you remember the bottle opener, Cas?” His joyous, carefree voice was carried by the breeze. I cleared my throat, stepping forward. He glanced over his shoulder, eyes widening as he pushed himself to his feet. The water soaked the wood, droplets cascading down his shins. “Angel?” My name came out in a single breath, his eyes hopeful. My wings stretched out behind me, glistening in the early morning sun. His eyes were trained on them, his mouth agape.  _

_ “Hello Love.” A soft smile touched my lips. It was as if my words broke through his surprise and he launched forward, wrapping his arms around my neck. I folded around him, shielding us both with my wings as my arms snaked around his core. “How could you tell?” I whispered beside his ear as he pulled me closer.  _

_ “Dream-you didn’t have wings. How are you here Cas? Are you okay?” He pulled away too soon, but his stare prevented me from embracing him again. Concern danced in his lovely eyes as he scanned my body.  _

_ “Love, I am okay. I was resting beside you and decided to slip into your mind. Mates can dream-walk. It is a defense mechanism for my kind. I just needed to see you. I am sorry if it upsets you.” I added the last statement as tears welled in the corner of his eyes. I brushed them away with my thumb and he smiled lovingly.  _

_ “How long has it been?” His voice was broken and I pressed my lips to his forehead. Before I could respond, he pulled me to sit on the dock, folding himself onto my lap. I wrapped my wings around him and his fingers gently carded through the askew feathers.  _

_ “It has been two months.” I spoke softly and he sucked in air, hand pausing.  _

_ “I missed Christmas?” He was appalled, anger creeping its way into his thoughts. I tightened my arms around him. “It was going to be our first Christmas. I had it all planned out. We could have hung Christmas lights and cut down a real tree. I could have pulled out all of Mom’s old decorations and we could have decorated while drinking spiked eggnog until we were warm and slurring the words to Christmas carols. Then on Christmas, I was going to make us breakfast before Sam and Jess came over. They’d help with dinner and then we would have Charlie, Dorothy, and the girls over to watch Frosty and Rudolph. It would have been perfect. I had the perfect gift for you Angel.” His fists were clenched as he spoke, eyes trained on my chest.  _

_ “Dean, I am just thankful I can speak to you now. When you awaken, we can celebrate Christmas. We told the girls that you were sick and they will be so excited to celebrate with you later as well. Everything you have planned sounds wonderful.”  I tried to reassure him, but he shook his head.  _

_ “Two months? I’ve been a monster for two months? Have I been conscious at all? Oh man, please tell me I haven’t said anything awful to you. I’m so sorry.” I cupped his cheek with my palm, guiding his lips to mine in a tender kiss. He relaxed into the kiss for a moment before pulling away. “Don’t silence me with your lips. I’m going to make it up to you. I promise. I’m fighting the curse.” He spoke against my lips and I closed the gap between us once more.  _

_ “I just want you to come back to me.” I spoke honestly, opening my eyes to lose myself in his warm, green gaze.  _

_ “I’m right here and at least for tonight, I’m not going anywhere. Maybe I could even help you guys. What lore have you looked into so far? Has Sam trie-” I cut his words off by speaking his name. He paused, meeting my stare in questioning silence.  _

_ “When your soul is healed, I would like to mate with you.” I had decided that the day we brought Dean home from Avergon.  _

_ “Oh, uh, yeah Cas.” Dean coughed, glancing away as a red hue heated his cheeks and the tips of his ears. “I am definitely on board with that.”  _

_ “You are aware of what that means, yes?” My head tilted as he smiled.  _

_ “You’re completely mine, I’m completely yours? There won’t be a wall between us anymore and our minds will meld completely. I’ll always know what you’re thinking and it’ll be trippy at first, but I’m okay with that. I love you, so I want all of that.” He huffed and I reached forward, kissing him with a smile on my lips as my wings surrounded us once again. “I also love your wings Angel. I don’t think I had a chance to tell you yet, but they’re gorgeous.” He ran his fingers through the feathers and I shuddered in pleasure. Our lips connected again as a heat settled between us. I was not going to fight it, but Dean’s mind held other plans for us.  _

_ The world around us shifted and we were tossed into a flower shop. Dean was sprawled out on top of me and he pushed himself up, being careful around my wings. My eyes scanned the rows of beautiful flowers as I stood.  _

_ “Dean, where are we?” The aroma was nearly overwhelming and I brushed my fingertips along the various petals beside me.  _

_ “Dorothy’s flower shop. When I was thinking about your gift, my thoughts drifted to the shop and I guess my mind ran with it.” He shrugged, stepping around to view the different flowers. He picked up a few with a thoughtful smile.  _

_ “Those are dahlia, right?” I stepped forward, looking at the variety that grew along the center table.  _

_ “Yeah, they’re beautiful, aren’t they?” He mused before his brow furrowed. “Dahlia…”He spoke again, his eyes squinting as the flowers slipped from his gasp. He fell to his knees, his hands clutching his head as he cried out. I wrapped him in my wings, whispering soothing, healing words in his ear in my native tongue. Being in a dream, I could not ease his suffering. I was at a loss and had to observe while he suffered until he regained focus. “Dahlia.” He repeated. “Dahlia is your mom’s name.” He was panting, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the bright light of the flower shop. I was taken aback. _

_ “How do you know that?” I clenched my fists to hinder the shaking of my hands. He caught on though and wiggled his fingers in to entwine with mine.  _

_ “I was separated from everyone when Eve attacked me. When I escaped, I tracked Sam up the side of a cliff and landed in a meadow of sunflowers. Your mom was there and she told me that the river would bring me home. Now I think she meant the river would bring me to you. She enchanted my switchblade with a sunflower. It should be in the pocket of the jeans I was wearing that day. She said I could use it to find her again, though she didn’t explain how.” He explained quickly, unsure about his own words.  _

_ “She said that it can be used to find her?” I could not control the hope raging through me, though the look in his eyes diminished it.  _

_ “Yeah, but only humans can enter the meadow. We didn’t have a lot of time to chat, but maybe she would know something? Maybe Sammy could go back with Anna or Gabriel?” He tightened his grip on my fingers.  _

_ “Perhaps.” I spoke softly. His one hand let go, reaching up to cup my cheek. _

_ “She said she loves you Cas. That none of it is your fault and that she is so proud of you. Please don't be sad Angel.” He pressed his lips to my other cheek, giving me a reassuring smile.  _

_ “Thank-you Dean.” I smiled sweetly. His words meant a lot to me and I paused from speaking as my vision blurred.  _

_ “Cas?” Dean’s voice was panicked as the flower shop faded away. We were standing in Dean’s living room now, though I felt like I was floating. Dean’s fingers slipped through my wrist and panic settled over him. “What’s happening? You just got here.” He grabbed my cheek, as it was still solid, and crashed his lips to mine. He frantickly kissed me and I felt my body slipping out of his mind and into consciousness. I pulled back and pressed my lips to his forehead.  _

_ “I am waking up. I am so sorry Dean. I thought we would have more time. I promise, we will cure your soul soon. I will visit again if I can.” I gave him one last gentle kiss before my body dissipated and Dean was left, kneeling in the living room. _

* * *

“Castiel?” Jess’s feet softly padded down the steps. They settled on the ground and her hand gently touched my knee. My wings expanded, stretching each muscle as I exposed Dean and I to the cool air of the basement. I uncurled my body, freeing myself from Dean’s embrace and slid off of his lap. My head tilted as I studied the hunter’s sleeping form. I had no recollection of moving after connecting our minds while I was on the floor. “Could I talk to you about something?” Her voice was a soft whisper and she took a step back from me. My eyes fell on Sam, who was currently drooling on a rather large and dusty book. He must have come back down after sleeping for a few hours. I could only assume it was morning, now that Jess has returned.

“Of course Jess. Would you like to accompany me to breakfast?” Dean would want pie when he woke up and the cafe in town served the best cherry pie. 

“Sure, that would be lovely.” She smiled and turned to head back up the stairs.

“Should I wake Sam?” I glanced over, catching the sounds of his soft snores. 

“No. He hasn’t been sleeping much and I know his usual order. We can bring breakfast back for them.” She disappeared up the steps. I swiftly kissed Dean’s forehead and tucked his favorite blanket around him before transporting myself upstairs. I used a bit of my life energy to cloak my wings before donning my overcoat. 

“Shall we?” She swung a bag over her back before extending her arm. I slid my arm through her’s with a warm smile. 

“We shall.” Together, we drove over in her tiny car to the local cafe. We were seated in a secluded booth, separate from the small crowd. The sun had just risen, so most people were still sleeping. We both ordered coffee and blueberry waffles. It was a special they were running and I was not one to say no to anything blueberry. I was very fond of the spherical fruit. We spoke of trivial things, like the new conditioner Sam was using and the blizzard we are expected to get hit by the following week. Jess was dancing around the issue at hand until we finished most of our food and I patiently waited. She took a deep breath, pushing her nearly empty plate from her. She pulled a book from her bag and smiled softly. 

“So, I think I found a way to cure Dean. I didn’t tell Sam yet because I didn’t want to get his hopes up because I’m not sure if it will be effective.” She explained, opening the book to a page marked with a purple sticky note. My heart stopped for a moment and I stopped moving. I waited for her to continue and she took another breath. “Dean told you about Bobby, right?” She glanced up to me my gaze and I nodded, leaning forward in anticipation.  “Well, Bobby’s house was condemned a while ago and Jody checks on it every few weeks. He had built this panic room in his basement back in the day. The thing is like a mini bunker. It’s where Sam and Dean stashed all of his lore books. He was basically a headquarters for hunters and everyone called him when they needed help, so I’m sure you can imagine how many books he owned.” She continued, eyes skimming the page as she spoke. “I had Charlie help me crack the code to the panic room. There were hazy instructions in a notebook that I found at Dean’s house. Once I got in, I found John Winchester’s journal in the boxes.” She paused as my brow quirked. 

“John. That’s Dean and Sam’s father, yes?” I tilted my head and she nodded. 

“Yeah. I don’t know if they even realized they left it in there, but John was a seasoned hunted. He recorded everything he knew in that journal so I figured I’d give it a shot. Turns out, he came across a woman who claimed to have been cured. She was a demon for eight years, but she was human when they met. It mentioned this book about demons, so I searched Bobby’s stash until I found it. According to this, there was a cure created by Father Max Thompson in 1958 that basically consists of injecting purified human blood, eight times, into the neck of a demon.” She slid the book across the table and I scanned over the words quickly. It was referred to as the Ritual of Purified Blood. My heart thundered in my chest as I read over it again. It could work. “I know Dean isn’t fully a demon yet, but I was hoping it could still work. The demon that was cured was named Kaya McLin. Maybe we could track her down and see if she knows anything? If she knew John, she might be willing to help us.” Jess suggested, smiling slightly.

“Kaya McLin. I knew of her. She passed a few years ago, but my mother was good friends with her. She might know if it will work on Dean.” I sighed, glancing away from the book to gather my thoughts. If the blood purifies the soul, it should work in a similar manner with Dean. If the ritual kills the demon to set a vessel free, then it would not work. Dean is his own vessel, so it may destroy his soul entirely or not have an effect on him. 

“Could we ask her?” Jess was buzzing, hope pooling out of her. My thoughts wandered to Dean’s switchblade.  

“I could not, but Sam could. Dean spoke with my mother in Avergon. She is on land that reaper’s cannot inhabit. Dean said that my mother enchanted his switchblade with a sunflower. Apparently, it can be used to find her in Avergon.” I explained and Jess perked up even more. She freed a switchblade from her bag and slid it beside the book. A golden sunflower was twirled around the handle, standing prominent against the iron handle. 

“I found it when I washed everyone’s clothes.” She smiled sheepishly, shrugging. 

“Would you be okay if I ask Sam to return to Avergon? Gabriel was weakened by the ritual that gave me my powers back. Perhaps Meg could accompany him? I know he has great contempt for her.” I frowned, but she placed her hand on mine.  

“Sam will do anything for Dean. Jody and I can work on getting the blood while he’s gone and maybe we can cure Dean by the end of the week.” She beamed and it seemed as if a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I nodded, agreeing with her words. Immediately, she called the waitress over to order Sam and Dean food. Once the check was paid, she grabbed my hand and pulled me to her car. On the drive back to Jody’s house, I felt Dean stir as he pressed on my mind. I smiled widely and pushed him waves of adoration, love, and hope. The emotions easily drowned out his mockery, silencing him completely. 

_ Dean, do not give up.  _


	17. Carving a Reaper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh, do I have to share you with my baby brother now? Kinky. I added a wink as Castiel turned to glare at me. What's wrong Feathers? Am I not man enough for you? I bet you like it rough. I can oblige. Right here, right now. I'll make you come unraveled." He seemed flustered now as his eyes widened before he quickly turned back to Sam. I barked out a silent laugh, ignoring Sam's glare as he stomped up the steps. Castiel paused for a moment, studying me before disappearing upstairs with Sam. Well, time to shine. The pressure on my vocal chords subsided and I coughed, clearing my throat. Jody's boot had scuffed the devil's trap when she was down here cleaning last night. Rookie mistake. I snapped the chains on my wrists and ankles, rubbing the irritated skin. I pulled myself from the ratty, dust covered basement and breathed in the stale bar air. The pool tables had a fine layer of dust over them, overturned stools scattered across the bar. Cobwebs upon cobwebs resided in every corner and crevice. The bar was empty and I helped myself to top shelf liquor. Within minutes I downed a bottle of whiskey and damn, freedom tasted good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I am so sorry about the late update. School has been absolute insanity, especially this week. After April 7th, I will be returning to my regular, weekly updates! I have a very big presentation that day on research that has taken me two years, that basically has taken up any free time not spent on clubs or regular homework/exams. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Its a bit darker than most chapters, but I really enjoyed writing it! Comments and kudos are always appreciated. 
> 
> *Trigger Warning: There is a scene of (slightly) graphic torture later in the chapter. Please read with caution. I will gladly type a brief summary of the chapter later in the week!

**February 19th**

**Dean**

* * *

 

I fixed a glare on pretty boy and Feathers. They were talking about a cure that Blondie found, something about infecting me with purified blood. A+ effort guys, really. It was admirable, but foolish. My eyes focused solely on the reaper. His mannerisms and the way he spoke really made my blood boil. It's been getting worse as the days pass by. Just use contractions for frick's sake man. It'll make you sound less like a pretentious robot. I told him this too, pushing into his mind. His eyes turned from the moose to land on my mischievous grin and his head tilted. 

_ You look like a confused mutt. Why do you tilt your head so much? You got a screw loose? I'm sure I can fix it for yah.  _ He scowled, glancing away to focus on what Samsquatch was saying. They were saying something about him going with Meg to Avergon to talk to the reaper’s dead mommy to make sure whatever cure Jess pulled out of her ass would work. I scoffed, rolling my eyes as Samsquatch glowered at me. Pure hatred, that's what resided in his eyes and damn did that light a fire under my ass.    


"Sammy Sam. What's got your panties in a twist? You've been on edge a lot lately. Do you need a hug?" The last word left my mouth and my vocal cords constricted, nearly closing my airways. I really hated that freakin' reaper.    


"It will work Sam. We will have Dean back soon." Castiel, the proper douche bag assured Sam, putting a hand on his elbow.    


_ Oh, do I have to share you with my baby brother now? Kinky.  _ I added a wink as Castiel turned to glare at me.  _ What's wrong Feathers? Am I not man enough for you? I bet you like it rough. I can oblige. Right here, right now. I'll make you come unraveled _ . He seemed flustered now as his eyes widened before he quickly turned back to Sam. I barked out a silent laugh, ignoring Sam's glare as he stomped up the steps. Castiel paused for a moment, studying me before disappearing upstairs with Sam. Well, time to shine. The pressure on my vocal chords subsided and I coughed, clearing my throat. Jody's boot had scuffed the devil's trap when she was down here cleaning last night. Rookie mistake. I snapped the chains on my wrists and ankles, rubbing the irritated skin. I pulled myself from the ratty, dust covered basement and breathed in the stale bar air. The pool tables had a fine layer of dust over them, overturned stools scattered across the bar. Cobwebs upon cobwebs resided in every corner and crevice. The bar was empty and I helped myself to top shelf liquor. Within minutes I downed a bottle of whiskey and damn, freedom tasted good.

“Squirrel. I see your appreciation for the finer things in life hasn't faded.” The King of Hell didn't waste time. I glanced at the shorter man for a moment before returning my stare to the wall behind the counter. I paused at each bottle, skimming the labels until I found one that suited my tastes.

“Crowley. To what do I owe this pleasure?” I spoke snidely, nursing a bottle of bourbon the moment the last word left my lips. The Mighty king scoffed, dropping down on the bar stool beside me. 

“It's time for you to pay your dues Dean. You're a knight of hell. I'd like for you to start acting like one instead of being a pathetic prisoner!” He had a short fuse and man was it fun to light it. It was effortless. My thoughts caught on one part of his statement though. A knight of hell, eh? Cool.

“I’d like a lot of things. A cheeseburger, a reaper to kill, top shelf gin.” I rattled off a few things, pausing before the next item on the list. “Some action would be nice right about now. You wanna help a guy out?” I threw in a wink, smirking at the squirming king. 

“You're a bloody heathen.” He grunted, flicking his wrist. The freshly opened bottle of gin slipped from my grasp, shattering against the wall by the ratty pool table. My shoulders tensed as I cracked my neck. Taking a deep breath, I turned and lifted my hand. Crowley flew backwards off of the stool, slamming against the ground. I pushed myself up, standing above him and meeting his wide gaze. 

“Another bottle of gin would be nice, your Highness.” I narrowed my gaze, anticipating his next words. 

“Go to hell.” He spat, struggling to push himself up against my strength. 

“That's on the list. You know, I've always wanted my own throne. I look devilishly handsome in a crown.” Crowley’s face twisted into a look of fury as he eyed the switchblade I freed from my back pocket. “Oh, this? Just a gift from good old Dad.” I spun the blade between my fingers and the king shuddered. 

“Alright, alright! Let me up! I'm sorry for breaking your bottle of gin. I'll get you more. Freakin’ Winchesters.” He vanished as soon as I let up a bit. I dropped back down onto the stool. In mere seconds, Crowley returned with a bottle of gin. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. I scoffed at it, rolling my eyes. He scowled. 

“You can do better, but I'll let it slide. I need a favor.” I matched his stare as his brow quirked. “I need the onyx pipe. The one that can send ghosts crying back to the afterlife.” 

“And what makes you think I can get that?” He huffed, drinking the bottle of gin since I neglected it. 

“You're king, aren't you? Or should I go ask Luci to help me? I'm sure he'd love to have his throne back.” His eyes darkened, the bottle shattering in his clenched fist.

“Fine, but you will serve as a knight of hell after you return from your little slaughter fest.” He spat. 

“Done deal, your highness.” We shook on it. Time to find the spell and if a lot of blood has to be spilled to get it, so be it. 

* * *

“Heya Anna. How goes it?” The lovely spirit flinched, eyes wide. “Don't call darling Castiel. You won't like the end result.” I held the pipe up, spinning it in my hand with a wide grin on my lips. “Remember this magical doohickey? I sure do.” She ran her fingers through her cat's fur before standing, shooing the furry thing away.

“What do you want Dean?” Her eyes narrowed as the evening breeze blew her hair back. So she was solidified, ready for a fight. Interesting.

“Cutting right to the chase, eh? And here I thought we'd exchange small talk and pleasantries first. It has been months since we've seen each other. You never visited me in my own personal prison.” I growled, pushing off the alley wall and striding towards her. 

“You weren't in prison Dean. Castiel and Sam were trying to help you!” She argued, but she didn't understand. I didn't want help. Why would I?

“Did you ever stop and think that I didn't want to be saved?” Shock crossed her facial features and I bit back laughter. “Wow, now there's a novel idea! Dean Winchester, knight of hell. It's got a nice ring to it, doesn't it?” She stared silently. “Well someone's not in a friendly mood. Guess I'll get right to it then.” Silence was still my only response and that wasn't going to do. “I need to get to Avergon, now. And you're going to take me.” I grabbed her arm, yanking her to follow me. 

“Dean, no. I-” Silly thing, thinking she could protest.

“Nope, see. That right there, is the wrong answer. Anna, I really don't want to hurt you, but I will. Push me far enough, and I will.” She shut her pretty little mouth real quick. “Take me to Avergon. I've got some unfinished business.” 

She whispered an enchantment and we were gone, slipping through a tunnel of vibrant colors. The process was less disorienting this time and I landed on my feet, right in the middle of the forest.  My eyes were shut as I listened to the natural sounds of the forest surrounding the meadow. The hum of the various insects, the flow of the lazy river, the soft creaking of the willow's branches swaying in the breeze, and the peaceful chirps of the crickets soothed my hazy mind as my body awakened in the unfamiliar realm. I felt oddly at peace here, though I didn’t let myself forget my mission.  Anna stood by, hesitating and lost in thought. 

“You can go now sweet cheeks. You aren’t needed anymore.” I waved her off, freeing the shell from my pocket. She stopped hesitating and vanished. Smart girl. The sun was high, indicating it was mid-day. I had maybe six hours before nightfall, six hours to complete my task. Eve was stronger at night and that just wouldn’t do. I blew into the shell, cautious as the river came to life in front of me. Deep purple eyes blinked up at me as the water twirled above the jagged rocks, taking the shape of a womanly figure. Cora was seated on the river’s edge, head tilted as she studied me. 

“Good afternoon Dean. Where is Castiel? I thought you both returned to your realm.” She chirped, her feet melding with the water. 

“Hello Cora. Cas is a bit preoccupied back home. I came here on my own and I need help finding an old friend.” I smirked, leaning against the cool bark of a willow tree. It was soothing against my sun-cooked skin. Even in this form, the heat and radiant sun of Avergon were relentless. 

“Well, what’s the name of this ‘old friend’?” She quirked her head to the side, oddly mimicking Castiel’s habit.

“Eve.” A smirk touched my lips and her eyes widened. 

“You and I have different definitions of what a friend is Dean.” She giggled, extending her hand. She retracted slightly as my fingertips brushed her’s. “How’d you get here? There isn’t a portal open to humans.” Her brow furrowed and a sigh escaped me. 

“Anna brought me, but she couldn’t stay. Mittens isn’t doing too hot.” I shrugged, glancing to the side as she thought over my words. “Mittens is her cat.” I added for good measure and she nodded, grabbing my hand and pulling us into the river. My vision blurred as a great feeling of freedom overtook my being. The fluidity of my body increased and I easily became one with the river, following the pull. The rapids were gentle caresses against my soul and after a few moments, we crashed back into reality against the river bank. 

“She’s right where you left her. Want me to wait for you?” She blinked up at me and I thought over her question. 

“Sure, that’d be awesome.” Another grin pulled at my lips and she beamed back at me. I wandered away from the river, eyes scanning the towering trees as I weaved my way through. My gaze landed on the purple-haired bitch, carving away at the bark of a maple tree with her claws. Her blazing glare landed on me and a calm smirk settled on my face. 

“You.” Her voice was raspy as she growled. She must’ve done a lot of screaming in my absence. That just warmed my heart. 

“Hey sweetheart, or should I call you mommy?” I felt my eyes shift to empty pits as I stepped towards her. Her eyes widened as she stepped back. 

“Dean Winchester. I’m surprised lover boy hasn’t locked you away in a tower yet. Is he heartbroken? Has he given up on life?” She mused, her body rigid as she studied me with caution in her eyes.

“Let’s just say I’m not a very good damsel in distress. Feathers will survive just fine without me. You, on the other hand, won’t survive the next five minutes.” I raised my hand, forcing the pressure building in my core outward. Her body slammed against the tree, bark splintering as she squirmed under the force. 

“I can train you. You have so much potential Dean. We can take over hell together. Don’t do this.” She cried out and a pleasant shiver shot down my spine. I freed the blade from my back pocket and smiled, flipping it open. 

“Shhh darling. It’ll only pinch, like a bee sting.” My wrist slid down, gliding through the tight skin around her elbow and down her forearm. She cried out, thrashing violently against the force holding her in place. Bright light shot out from the wound, crimson blood flowing down her arm in tendrils. I flicked the blade, sticking it in her cheek and twisting. The glow gleamed through her eyes, escaping with her tears as her whole body shuddered. “Now before I kill you, I have a question.” I took a breath, freeing the blade from her flesh. “Will purified blood cure me?” Laughter escaped her, gurgling escaping her throat as I pressed the blade to her neck. 

“Go to hell.” She coughed and I jabbed the blade through her jugular. Her throat constricted as blood erupted from the wound, speckling my face and clothes with red. 

“Wrong answer.” I twisted the blade in her chest, carving various symbols in her center, watching the blood spiral down to pool at her feet. Drain the blood, carve the sigils in the flesh, coat arms in the blood, speak the enchantment, stab through the heart. My movements, though seemingly crazed, were methodical. I dipped my hands in the warm liquid, spreading a thin coating over my arms. She coughed out, her vocal chords shredded. 

_ I hope you crumble. I hope you find your humanity and implode from the guilt of what you did. How many people did you murder to find this spell? It's ancient, older than your lover’s older siblings. You must have a lot of blood on your hands to have found this. Are you using it on your lover next?  _ Her voice was poison in my mind and I built a mental barrier after whispering one last statement. 

_ It's all worth it to watch you burn.  _ The words escaped my lips, the foreign language dancing on my tongue as the sigils carved into her skin smoked. I belong in hell, so of course I will burn. She will just cease to exist. I jammed the blade through her heart, power surging through my veins and shaking my bones. Her screams of agony tore through my mind as she exploded in a ball of light. The soul was slowly absorbed through my fingertips. When the light dimmed, her eyes were vacant and the mother of monsters was no more. I yanked my blade free, wiping it on my flannel and sliding it back into my pocket. A weight lifted from my shoulders and the fire of rage once burning in my soul lessened to a smolder. I could reign over hell in peace now, knowing the reaper would never get her way. I made my way back to the river, pausing at the sound of twigs snapping. Pulling myself up into a tree, I waited for the beings to pass. 

“We’ve been walking for hours Samsquatch. We should just go back for the switchblade. Clarence said his mother enchanted it.” Meg whined and a smirk touched my lips as I leaned over the willow branch. 

“Dean said that Dahlia told him the river would take him home. The river will take us wherever we need to go.” Sam responded, ticked off by her presence. Oh, it would really turn their day sour if they saw me. Though, it was better if they didn't know I escaped. “Oh god, what is that?” He shouted, arm moving to cover his nose. 

“Someone knows how to kill reapers. Someone who really had it out for little ol’ Eve. A certain demon with a grudge. Ringing any bells Sam?” Meg concluded, eyeing him wearily. 

“Dean.” He huffed, stopping in the clearing with Meg at his side. “We have to hurry.” Before I could react, they were sprinting down the river. They were going the opposite way of dear Dahlia and man that was entertaining. I dropped down, blowing into the shell. Cora responded immediately, dancing out of the water as it hit the bank. She must have hid in the water, frightened by the pair of idiots. Her eyes widened, her jaw going slack as she gasped. Tears welled in her eyes as she frantically brushed her fingers over me. 

“Are you harmed? Dean, what happened?” She was frantic and I brushed her off. 

“Nothing, just a Volix attack. Eve and I handled it. Can you just get me back? I feel like I'm going to be sick.” I mumbled, rubbing the blood from my forehead. Cora nodded, placing her hand on my shoulder, one of the few area not soaked in blood. Becoming one with the water once again was disorienting and the soul nearly slipped from my core. I held it tightly until we hit the bank. I stumbled out of the river, Cora right behind me. 

“Are you sure you are okay Dean?” She was worried and I scoffed at her concern. She followed me as I weaved through the trees, though her footsteps stopped abruptly.”I can't go any further from the river. Are you absolutely sure you are okay?” Her purple eyes were perfectly round as she stared at me. She didn't owe me anything so I didn't get why she was worried. Castiel would help the nymphs no matter what happened to me. 

“I'm fine, I promise. Say hey to Arrick for me. I'll be back soon with Castiel.” I assured her with a gentle smile before stalking off away, the smile twisting into a scowl. Once I was out of sight, I released the soul energy from my palm, letting it dance on my fingertips. I slammed it down and let it guide me through to my original realm. Thanks Eve. 

* * *

Once I was back, I sought out Crowley. His energy was vastly different, twisted and warped into the supreme soul energy that made him king. His power was halted though, encased by a force. Now that was comical. Finding him was a simple process and I blinked, my body moving to stand before him. He stood, scowling with his arms crossed over his chest. He was stuck in place by a simple devils trap and I laughed mockingly. “Behold! The mighty king, tricked and trapped like a sitting duckling!” I raised my arms and shouted, laughter echoing through the abandoned shed.

“Laugh it up, big boy. Go ahead and try to leave.” His scowl twisted into a smirk and I frowned, trying to pull myself outside. I was frozen in place, unable to move from a circle I couldn't see. The lights flickered off and a devils trap glowed beneath my feet. A growl escaped my lips. “They went dateline on your ass, I'm afraid.” He quipped as Castiel and Sam slipped through the creaky door. Sam scratched away the edge of Crowley’s circle. “Pleasure doing business with you Moose. Castiel.” He tipped his head with a smile as he danced out to walk by them. 

“Crowley.” Sam nodded his head as Castiel stood with his eyes stuck on me. They grazed over my outward appearance and I could only begin to imagine the guesses as to whose blood it was that stained my skin. 

“What the hell is this shit?” I hissed, glaring between the three of them. 

“There's only room for one king of hell Dean, and it's not you. Tah.” Crowley vanished without another word. That pathetic vermin. A string of curses escaped my lips. The blood from Eve had dried and my fists clenched as I attempted to resist the urge to scratch it off of my forearms. A strong force shoved me backwards, my knees giving out to drop my body into a chair. 

“You really think that will work tough guy? You're adorable.” I quipped, struggling to push myself back up. 

“I told you that I would never hurt you again Dean. The only way to keep that promise, is to risk breaking it.” The force strengthened, settling into my bones. I never felt anything like it, but I still struggled against it. 

“That doesn't make sense, you idiot.” I shouted as Sam stepped into the circle. “Don't touch me! Get the hell away, you son of a bitch!” I growled as he chained my limbs to the chair. My body was limp, completely held in place by Castiel’s life force. Immediately, a needle slammed into my neck. With the plunger down, a hot and searing pain burned through my veins. Screams of agony tore from my throat as the force lifted, allowing my body to thrash around violently. 

“Just silence him Cas. We have to wait a bit before the next injection.” My vocal chords tightened as Sam pushed his way out of the shed. Tears welled in my eyes as my entire body tensed, overwhelmed by the liquid fire carving its way into my soul. Castiel stood, hesitating as tears welled in his eyes. The bastard had no right to cry. He's the one that did this to me. It was all his fucking fault. 

_ It's all your fucking fault, you asshat. You did this to me. I could have had a normal life, but you destroyed it. You don't deserve me as a human. You don't deserve anything.  _ I spat in his mind before the pain took over my thought processes.

  
_ I love you Dean. I am so sorry.  _  The last thing I saw was Castiel shutting the door behind him. Everything faded out after that. 


	18. Yellow Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Angel. You have nothing to apologize for. After what I said to you…” He took a deep breath. “I don’t deserve you. I’m a monster. My thoughts, my actions, my words. I hate you Cas. The physical me that is conked out somewhere, hates you. Why are you trying so hard to bring me back?” He shouted, gaze locked on mine, challenging me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I am so sorry for the slight hiatus. I give my final senior seminar presentation at a conference tomorrow, so I have been preparing for that all week. My university is also hosting the conference so I have been helping faculty with planning and preparation. Thank-you for your patience! This chapter is fairly short, but I wanted to have something to post without completely rushing through the story. I promise the next chapter will be very long! Anyway, I hope you enjoy! I promise that things will get better (slightly) for our lovebirds next chapter! I am a sucker for fluff, so be prepared! Kudos and comments are appreciated, as always. 
> 
> *Trigger Warning: There are slightly graphic descriptions of the aftermath of torture, so please read with caution.

**February 20th**

**Castiel**

* * *

 

_I stepped into a candy store, the bell dinging as the door swung shut behind me. It was a quaint store, jars full of brightly wrapped candy lining the shelves. The gentle aroma of caramel caressed my nose. A soft smile touched my lips. My fingertips brushed against the cases of fudge before the floorboards creaked by the register. I turned to meet Dean’s startled gaze with kind eyes._

_"Hello Dean. Where are we?” My head tilted ever so slightly. His jaw hung open, eyes perfectly round. The man before me was speechless and I hesitantly stepped forward. Tears welled in the corners of his eyes and he turned his head, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. “Oh Love, it is okay.” I assured him, maneuvering behind the counter. I extended my life energy, allowing the warmth to blanket Dean._

_“This is Sorrick’s Sweets. When I was thirteen, Sammy really wanted a bike. It was all he wanted for Christmas, but my Dad never paid attention. I ran away while my Dad was on a hunt in Nebraska. I found Mr. Sorrick and thought he was an easy target. He caught me trying to swipe money from the register and sat me down in the back, asking for an explanation. I told him all about Sammy and the bike he wanted. I even told him about my Dad and how he only cared about the random jobs he found. The old man offered me a job that day and I worked for a few weeks until my Dad found me. I was a few dollars short and Mr. Sorrick ended up finding the motel we were staying in. He brought a bike with him, exact color and everything. He told me to keep what I made and save it for emergencies. He’s the reason we had money for food throughout the next month. He passed away a few years ago. I went to the funeral and found out he had a son who took over the business.” His voice was hardly audible and he backed away from me as his story concluded. I was at a loss for words, my adoring gaze trained on my mate. “Why are you here? How am I even asleep?” He muttered, arms crossing over his chest._

_“I am attuned to your soul. I was able to siphon some of your life energy from afar, but I was unable to locate you. You are very clever, carving sigils into your skin so I cannot find you. I was worried so I came to you here.” I explained and Dean frowned, his brow furrowed._

_“I thought you and Sammy caught me? How did I escape?”  He was lost in thought and I used that to my advantage. I cautiously stepped forward again, hoping to avoid startling him._

_“Meg. She set you free and gave you a blade, one powered by knights of hell. She found Azazel and did not want him to escape.” I frowned, disappointed in myself for not realizing where Meg’s true priorities lied._

_“So she used me as an attack dog?” He growled, anger in his eyes now._

_“I am so sorry Dean. I know it is my fault and I will make it up to you. I jus-” He cut my words off though._

_“Angel. You have nothing to apologize for. After what I said to you…” He took a deep breath. “I don’t deserve you. I’m a monster. My thoughts, my actions, my words. I hate you Cas. The physical me that is conked out somewhere, hates you. Why are you trying so hard to bring me back?” He shouted, gaze locked on mine, challenging me._

_“I love you Dean. You are everything to me. I cannot lose you. I refuse to lose you. None of that matters. I just want you home and safe.” I pulled myself forward before he could react, my wings flapping behind me. He was startled by my sudden appearance before him and I pulled him into my arms, my wings surrounding him. His body collapsed into my embrace, sobs wracking his body. “Do not carry this burden on your shoulders. You have no control over it. This, everything, is on Eve. Your soul is still pure my Love.” I whispered in his hair as he clung to me. Yes, his soul was still pure. It was terribly broken though, his physical decisions weighing heavily on him and slicing his life energy into ribbons. I pressed my lips to his forehead, channeling energy through his skin to calm his soul and prevent it from breaking further. A strangled cry escaped his lips and he pushed back against my chest. Pain etched across his beautiful facial features as he writhed in my arms._

_“Something is wrong.” His jaw was clenched as he pressed his hands to his abdomen. He struggled out of my grasp, sprawling out on the floor. I jumped forward, pulling his hands away and lifting his shirt. A gasp escaped my lips. Intricate sigils were carved through his abdomen, sigils only elders from hell would know. They were meant to kill you slowly, bleed you out as they rip away layers of your soul. The final sigil was incomplete and I breathed a sigh of relief before cupping Dean’s sweaty cheek._

_“Dean, where are you? You are in danger. If that sigil is completed, you will die. Please Dean. Think.” I brushed my lips against his forehead once again._

_“North Dakota. Abandoned farmhouse.” He choked out, tears cascading down his face. I pushed myself up, shutting my eyes to force myself awake. “Angel.” His voice was hoarse and I snapped my eyes open as his fingers brushed my wrist. I knelt down by his side and brushed the hair from his forehead. “Please don’t leave me.” He begged and my heart clenched._

_“Dean, I have to. I cannot let you die sweetheart.” I pressed feather-light kisses to his cheeks and forehead._

_“No.” He coughed and I was momentarily stunned. “I mean, once you find me. I did something terrible Cas. I’m a monster, but I can’t lose you. “ He sobbed, grasping my wrist tightly now._

_“You will not. I promise. I would never leave unless you sent me away.”_

_“You don’t know that.” He squeezed tightly, fear swirling in his eyes._

_“I do, I promise. It is time to wake up sweetheart. I will be right there. Stay safe.” I grabbed his lips with my own, pushing every ounce of warmth I could spare into his soul. “I love you.”_

* * *

I jolted forward, gasping as my memories caught up with my waking thought processes. I unfolded my wings behind me, pushing my body up and locating Sam. Effortlessly, I dropped in front of him, separating him from a bloody and bruised Meg. “Enough Sam.” I pressed my fingertips against his forehead, simmering the angry fire in his soul.

“Come to finish me off Clarence?” Meg smirked, but I caught the true fear in her eyes. She was aware that she betrayed not only the Winchesters, but me as well. She also put my mate in harm’s way and most reapers would have smited her. She knew me better than that though, and I was incredibly disappointed.

“You are well aware of the fact that I am not a fan of violence Meg. Sam did this of his own accord.” I responded swiftly and she rolled her eyes.

“You flatter me C-”

“I am not here to save you Meg. I found Dean and I require Sam’s assistance. I will return him once Dean is safe.” I snapped, trying my best to maintain my life energy. If I lost my cool, I would not be able to find Dean. Both Sam and Meg stared at me with wide eyes as I sighed and placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder. The world shifted around us and we dropped down right outside an old, red farmhouse. “Stay quiet and follow me. If you get in my way, I will send you back.” I glowered at him. He flinched, returning my statement with a nod and grimace. I stepped through the splintered door, cringing as the sounds of agony danced in my ears. Sam gasped behind me and I shoved my judgement down. There were individual organs and appendages hanging from the walls like it was a meat locker. Blood and other bodily fluids coated the floor in a thin, sticky layer. My eyes fell on Azazel, carved to shreds and hanging in pieces. The only identifiable piece being his yellow eye, hanging from the mutilated face. Screams of sorrow overtook my senses as people reached for my hands, begging to be saved. They were lost, confused, angry, and in so much pain. I tried not to think of the other victims here. I tried to pretend that Dean was not responsible for the carnage. Of course it was foolish and wrong. I should be returning the pained souls to Avergon. I could not bring myself to leave though, my life energy twisting in on itself as my heart clenched. I reached out for Gabriel, praying he heard my cries. These people needed to find peace. He could help them cross. I was weak and selfish, but I could not abandon Dean. I did not have the strength to. A small girl stepped forward, her silent cries tugging my attention. Her vocal chords were slashed, her left arm torn off, jagged lines of a saw tracing her shoulder. Her right leg was shredded, useless and dragging behind her. I gently caressed her cheek, whispering soft promises in my native tongue. I spared some energy, soothing her pain. She stopped her attempts at screaming, but the pain was still etched into her facial features. She did not deserve this. Nobody here deserved this. I tore my gaze away, trying to bury my regret and guilt until I could get Dean to safety. My eyes finally fell on my love, writhing in pure agony and fear on the bloody wall of a war zone. He was strung up like a Christmas decoration, his face swollen and nearly unrecognizable. His limbs were hardly hanging on and the sigils oozed across his abdomen. If he was not a knight of hell, he would have died hours ago. Sam fell to his knees beside him, staring at the righteous man with a tarnished soul. I could not ease the younger man’s pain and sorrow, so I stepped around him.

“Feathers.” Dean’s words were lackluster and hardly audible. They lacked any bite to them and he coughed violently.

“Dean. I am so sorry.” Not only was my voice broken, but my entire spirit as well. The man I loved, the man with the purest soul I have seen, was hardly hanging on. His soul was blackened and in shreds. There was no way I had enough power to restore it. Dean would not be the same after this. I did my best to ease his pain first, blanketing him with a piece of my soul. His body relaxed immensely, his soul reaching out to twine with my energy. Even in this form, his soul ached for mine. It gave me hope. I sensed Gabriel’s presence in the room and shoved his thoughts from my mind. He would only try to convince me that Dean was too far gone and I could never accept that. I focused my energy on his abdomen, watching as the skin pulled together under my hand. My eyes caught the sigil behind him. It was a banishing sigil, made with blood.

“Lilith didn't appreciate me taking apart her mate. Apparently his eye as a keepsake wasn't enough for her. The bitch almost had me too, but I finished the banishing sigil just in time. Guess she should have cut off my fingers first.” He chuckled harshly now that he was free from pain.

“So she will be back. How long ago did you banish her?” I carefully removed the first blade, pinning his wrist to the wall. His arm dropped down against his side with a wet thud, a shudder stretching down my body in response.

“About an hour or two ago. She’ll be back soon. Tick-tock angel boy.” A smirk teased his lips and Sam pushed himself forward. He yanked the blade from Dean’s thigh, not even minding the tendons or arteries. Dean cried out as Sam threw the blade to the ground.

“Could you be a little less of an asshole? We are trying to save your sorry ass.” He growled, ripping another blade from Dean’s other thigh. I gripped his shoulder, holding him up so the last blade would not rip through his arm. Dean shut his mouth, glowering at his brother. Sam yanked the final blade out, flinging it against the wall. Dean fell against my body and I held him up. He was breathing heavy, unable to hold himself up in the slightest. I pulled him to cradle his broken body in my arms and I silenced him, not in the mood to hear his protests. He could not fight back, so any form of protest was useless on his part. I gripped Sam’s elbow and fled that place, leaving the dark and twisted occurrence behind me. Gabriel would yell at me later. I dropped Dean into the chair, chaining his wrists and ankles in place. Sam wasted no time, retrieving a syringe from the other room. I held him back, pushing him away from Dean.

“If you do that now, it will kill him. He is only alive because he is a knight of hell.” I shouted, ignoring the look of fury on Sam’s face.

“Better dead than a freakin’ monster Cas!” I picked up on the fear hidden behind the anger. For that, I would pause before reacting harshly.

“His soul is broken Sam. I need to heal him first. Give me a few weeks. You can keep Meg locked away for that time. I will be the only one allowed in this room. When he is healthy enough to be cured, I will retrieve you.” I spoke calmly and Sam took a deep breath.

“No. How ab-” I was not interested in arguing though. I used my energy to push him out of the room, yanking the doors shut and flicking the locks in place. Before Dean could make a snarky comment in my mind, I pressed my fingertips to his forehead. He slouched over, consciousness leaving him. I turned, standing defensively in front of him. My jaw clenched as I fought back the low growl forming in the pit of my throat. Crowley perched on the stool closest to the rickety bookcase. The room was mostly barren, save a few novels on a bookshelf for when Dean is cured and a stool for Sam. The king of hell eyed me cautiously, weighing his options before speaking. I did not have time to entertain him tonight and I pooled my life energy in the palms of my hands. 

"Easy there killer. I just came to chat about our friend here." He spoke carefully, watching my hands. 

"He is no friend of your's Crowley." I spat through my teeth and he rolled his eyes. 

"Obviously. It was an expression you idiot." He was wasting my time and I stepped forward. He held his hands up, dropping off of the stool and putting the wooden seat between us as if it would shield him from my wrath. "You don't want to waste your energy on me. We both know that. Let me say my piece and you can have your alone time with the unconscious lunatic, alright?" 

"You have five minutes." I snapped, relaxing my hands and posture. 

"Bloody hell." He huffed, stepping to pace in front of the doorway. "So, Squirrel here slaughtered Azazel and all of his followers, save Lilith of course. This means that the white-eyed bitch is alone, but on a war path. She has nothing left to lose and she will be gunning for your boyfriend. I suggest curing him fast and carving your magic sigils into his ribs. Keep him hidden, which means not his house." He extended his palm, a set of keys glistening in the pathetic lighting of the basement. 

"Why would you help us?" I growled, not in the mood for his games. 

"To help myself! If Lilith gets her hands on him, she will send his soul to the deepest pits of hell. I don't need your heartbroken-self wreaking havoc in hell to save your precious little boyfriend! I would like to stay king and having you run around down there screws everything up! If I help you keep him hidden, then you keep your fight here or in your own bloody realm!" He pushed the keys forward, rolling his eyes in the process. I snatched them, feeling the weight of them in my palm. They were not hexed or being tracked. "It's not a trick Castiel. I don't want you freakin' reapers in hell anymore. Stay out of my realm and I'll stay out of yours. The keys are to a cabin in the mountains of Pennsylvania. The coordinates are on the tag. Do we have a deal?" He extended his hand again and I frowned. 

"I do not make deals Crowley." 

"You are so dense and so literal." He was exasperated by my responses. "I don't mean a demon deal you fool. I don't have a binding contract and I don't want your soul. I couldn't contain it anyway." He grumbled and I nodded. 

"Fine, we have a deal." I ignored his outstretched hand and slipped the keys into the pocket of my overcoat. "Did you need something else?"

"Yes, actually. I want Meg." He smirked. 

"That was not part of the deal." I retorted, turning back to face Dean. Meg betrayed me, yes. I was not going to turn her over to the king of hell to be tortured for the rest of her existence. I would not wish that on anyone, even a demon. 

"You're soft Castiel." 

"No. I am just not a monster." My voice was flat as I studied Dean's calm facial expression. He was not dreaming, so there was no point in me linking our minds once again. It would only overwhelm his senses. I was met with silence and I glanced over my shoulder. Crowley was gone, but a piece of paper was left in his place. A phone number was written in chicken scratch. I had not realized the king of hell had a cell phone. 


	19. Road to Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I broke down pieces of the wall I had built that first night we were here and allowed my emotions to mingle with his. He pushed himself off of the stool and stepped towards me. I held my arms up with a shy smile and the reaper slammed into me, engulfing us both with iridescent feathers as he folded me into his arms. "Love..." He couldn't manage more than that and I smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I am so sorry that I have not posted in so long, but thanks for sticking with me! My finals are next week and I graduate from college next Saturday so I have just been overwhelmed these past few weeks. Good news though, I have an entire week off after graduation before I start work for the summer, so after I unpack, I will do my best to write a lot! I absolutely love where this story is going and I have only a few more chapters planned before its conclusion! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!

**April 10th**

**Dean**

* * *

 

The sound of my heartbeat was all I could handle focusing on. Everything hurt. The blood in my veins felt like it was boiling, liquid fire rushing through my body. The cool metal, tight around my wrists and ankles, couldn’t even sooth the heat. A soft flutter caught my attention, a gentle aroma of an afternoon rain storm accompanying the noise. Featherlight touches pressed against my jaw, easing the tension on my teeth. Once satisfied, the fingers moved to my fists. They methodically eased the tension, unclenching my fists by massaging each finger. 

“Dean?” Cas. His voice was drenched with hope and my gut twisted. Disgust wormed its way in, overtaking any thought I could have. Disgust at myself, disgust at what I did, disgust that Cas didn’t realize he deserved better. Fury was next. Directed at Eve for making me a monster, at myself for being weak, at Meg for helping me escape for her own personal gain, and at Sam and Cas for not giving up and moving on with their lives. Guilt was the last emotion, in such an overwhelmingly high concentration in my thoughts. My body would be crumpled on the floor if the chair was not supporting my frame. Warmth blanketed my body, seeping into my thoughts to overwhelm the negative emotions that made a home in my mind. Adoration, forgiveness, worry, and love of the purest form shut out my own thoughts. It was incredibly overwhelming, so much so that my eyes snapped open. Cas. Cas with his dazzling blue eyes, disheveled raven locks, and inky iridescent wings expanded behind him knelt before me. A broken sob escaped my lips and Cas met my gaze, his wings folding around me. “Oh, Dean.” He whispered softly, slowly unlocking each chain that held me in place. My eyes shut again as the last lock was broken. Violent coughs shook my body and Cas immediately jumped back, returning in seconds with a glass of water. I gulped it eagerly to cool the burn and itch residing in my throat. Cas touched the glass, pulling it slightly to slow the stream of water. “Not too quick. You will make yourself sick.” His voice was soothing as he watched me carefully. Wheels were turning in his head, but I couldn’t bring myself to establish the connection with him again. I didn’t think I could handle his pain. 

“Holy water?” My voice was hoarse from disuse, but I managed.

“Yes. It was Sam’s idea. Though, I was suppose to give you that before unchaining you.” He sighed, taking the empty glass from my hand. “Are you in any pain?” He hovered over me and I frowned, pulling my stare from his concerned gaze. “Dean.” His voice held power, drawing my attention.

“Everything hurts. Everything burns. I feel like Lucifer’s fire is eating my insides right now.” I spoke hesitantly and Cas flinched. He was the one to pull his gaze away now as he contemplated something. Before I could question it, his fingers brushed my forehead and the lights went out. 

* * *

“Where are we?” It was the first question from my lips when I startled awake. My eyes scanned over the cabin, every surface in the home composed of wood. It was cozy and warm, the fireplace crackling in the living room. My body was sprawled on the couch across from the television, bags of melted ice tucked around me like a blanket. From this position, I could see mountains through the window. Flowers were blooming all over, painting the picturesque landscape with the colors of spring. The sun was starting to set in the distance, the full moon partially visible beside it. Blues, purples, and oranges streaked the sky and I was in a daze, admiring the natural beauty. Wherever we were, it was gorgeous. A door shut from somewhere in the cabin and Cas stepped into the room from the hallway. He met my gaze, a soft smile on his lips.

“Did the ice help?” He ignored my question, studying the bags of water. 

“Yeah, it did. The pain is still lingering, but it’s a tad more manageable.” My words were mumbled together as he maneuvered the bags off of me. I flinched away from the brush of his fingers and he let his arms drop to his sides. 

“I am glad.” He emptied the bags before speaking again. “Lilith is after revenge for what happened. Crowley suggested I bring you here as a safe house. Nobody but myself, Crowley, and Gabriel know where we are. And Gabriel only knows as a precaution. Anyone else can reach us by cellphone. Sam has definitely improved his vocabulary since I kicked him from the basement. I am afraid he is very unhappy with my decisions.” His shoulders hunched, wings folding as he glanced down. 

“Well, it’s your show. Sammy will get over it once he talks to me.” I focused back on the landscape, a yawn shaking my body.

“I can bring him here, if you would prefer that.” He spoke softly. 

“No. I’m not really ready to face him yet.” Another yawn escaped me and Cas suggested that we head to bed. “Where to?” I pushed myself up, ignoring my screaming muscles.

"There is only one bedroom, so I will sleep here." Cas gestured to the couch I had been iced on and a frown touched my lips. Was he that repulsed by me? I really couldn’t blame him. My eyes darkened and I felt my fists clenching. He hesitated before speaking again, taken aback by my reaction. "I can sleep outside, if that is better." He added, his own stare disheartened. Fury decided to make an appearance again and twisted in my core. 

"Are you that disgusted by me Cas? I'm not forcing you to stay here with me. You can go and carry on with your life. You don't owe me anything." Cas was startled, visibly flinching at my harsh words. Warmth surged around me and my entire body relaxed on impulse.   


"Dean, sweetheart, I am not disgusted by you. Not in the slightest. I thought you were uncomfortable with our intimacy, so I was trying to make you more comfortable. I thought that maybe my presence was too much." His wings drooped as he glanced away. I cursed at myself, unclenching my fists. 

"Please don't walk on eggshells around me. It'll only make it worse. I just want you as close as possible right now, if nothing else." My voice was hardly audible, cracking as I spoke. It was something his words decided for me. I didn’t want to be separated from him. Cas locked his gaze on me, his eyes glistening. I extended my hand and he cautiously grasped it. I made a guess as to where to go and pulled him to the bedroom, climbing into the king sized bed and tugging his hand. He slid in beside me and I immediately clung to him, burying myself in his chest. His arms wrapped around my frame, holding me securely in place while his left wing blanketed us both. He felt safe and warm. I could pretend for a waking moment, that none of the twisted shit happened. That we were back at my house, going to bed early so we could make breads for the market the next day. Of course that wasn’t the case, but a guy can dream. 

That night, Cas helped me battle my nightmares. This continued for weeks, maybe even months. A pattern of night terrors, mindless television, Cas's cooking, and laying in bed. I lost track of time as I wandered around the house like a zombie. I knew Cas was anxious and upset. He didn't know how to handle me this way and I didn't blame him. In fact, I loved him more for his presence and support. The guy was resilient. He didn't abandon me and neither did my family. Once I made the initial connection, I received phone calls from them at least twice a day. Sam insisted, after complaining about Cas’s secrecy, that I walked around while talking to get my exercise and I complied after Charlie threatened to track the signal on Cas's cellphone. Cas usually left to get groceries during my calls, giving me privacy. Nobody brought up my run as a demon or the fact that I have been holed up in the mountains for weeks. All we really talked about was their life updates and what new show I forced Cas to watch with me. Today, it was myth busters. Honestly, I just had it on for background noise as I let my thoughts wander.

Today was the day though. I was going to start making it up to Cas for putting him through hell. The reaper was slouched on a stool, his wings in disarray with feathers sticking out. He was hunched over a recipe book, trying to find something he could cook without chicken or blueberries. I may have mentioned yesterday that I was tired of both ingredients, which was selfish on my part. Cas rubbed his eyes before flipping the page, a yawn shaking his body. My screams tended to keep both of us up at night, though the night terrors have been getting a little better each night. I sucked in a deep breath and pushed myself off of the couch, letting the blanket drop onto the cushion.    


_ Hey Angel? _ His wings immediately perked up as he spun on the stool to face me. We hadn't communicated in this way since I was cured and an overwhelming feeling of relief and euphoria crashed into me when he responded.    


_ Yes Love?  _ His eyes held a mix of hope, pride, and adoration in them. I broke down pieces of the wall I had built that first night we were here and allowed my emotions to mingle with his. He pushed himself off of the stool and stepped towards me. I held my arms up with a shy smile and the reaper slammed into me, engulfing us both with iridescent feathers as he folded me into his arms. "Love..." He couldn't manage more than that and I smiled.    


"I know. I'm so sorry it took me so long, but I think I'm getting better. I'm not ready to go back, but I'd really like to keep the wall down between us." I decided that last night, but wasn’t sure if I would chicken out or not.    


"Of course sweetheart. Anything you want." He held me tighter and I chuckled.    


"Actually, I was kind of hoping I could make us dinner tonight. I've been really itching for a bacon cheeseburger." Cas perked up, meeting my gaze.

"I can go get the ingredients right now!" His lovely wings faded into some plane invisible to the human eye and he pushed himself off of the stool. 

"Can I come with you?" It was the first step to true recovery. I had to face the outside world. I could only use my boyfriend as a protective blanket for so long. It wasn’t fair to him. Cas faltered and studied me. "I promise, I'm not going to backtrack or anything. I just really need some fresh air." Cas ended up agreeing to it after a few minutes of begging. I have my dignity still, mostly. I pulled on my flannel, leaving it open over a navy shirt. I managed to tug on jeans and my boots, stepping out into the living. Cas smiled warmly, the skin around his eyes crinkling. “What?” I glanced over myself before meeting his gaze. 

“Nothing, Love. Stay here. I will be right back.” I blinked and he was standing in front of me. His lips brushed my cheek and then he was gone. Weird. I grabbed my phone, sliding it in my pocket before making my way to the front door. With my hand hovering above the door knob, a noise touched my ears. The familiar purr of the impala’s engine settled in my bones and I threw the door open. I bolted outside, jaw hanging open. There was Baby sitting in the front yard, my angel standing next to her with a small smirk. He extended his hand, the keys dangling from his fingertips. I sprinted forward, ignoring his hand for a moment to cup both of his cheeks. I pulled his face forward, crashing our lips together as our bodies slotted together effortlessly. Warmth pulsed through my body as I lost myself in the moment. I could have stayed like that forever, but my lungs had other plans. I separated our faces, gasping for air as Cas leaned back in, pressing his forehead to mine. 

“Can I drive?” I locked my gaze on his lovely stare. 

“Of course Love. I would not have it any other way.” Neither of us moved for a few breaths, smiling at each other. I kissed his cheek swiftly and grabbed the keys, hopping over to Baby and sliding in the driver’s seat. 

“So, how do we get down the mountain?” I met his gaze and a wide grin broke out on his face. He had slid in next to me and inched as close as he could so our knees were pressed together. 

“Close your eyes.” He pressed his hand on the dashboard and shut his eyes. I listened, hands gripping the steering wheel as the entire car lurched. When I opened my eyes and the disorientation wore off, we were in the middle of an abandoned highway. Cas took a deep breath, his hands shaking as they dropped onto his lap. “The store is an hour drive that way.” He pointed towards the sun and I reached over, pulling his face back against mine. I kissed him with everything I had before starting the impala and heading down the road. It was a glorious drive of singing along to a variety of songs. Cas even picked a few he had acquired a preference for.  Eventually, we reached the store. If I turned off course and road on backgrounds for longer than necessary, Cas didn’t comment on it. Baby eased into the parking lot and we wandered inside. My hand slipped easy into Cas’s grasp and he smiled softly, letting me drag him around the grocery store. He carried the basket while I loaded it with everything. I grabbed ground beef, bread crumbs, eggs, spring onion, garlic, black pepper, bacon, cheddar cheese, brioche buns, butter, all the ingredients for an apple pie, and vanilla ice cream. We ended up in the produce section and the pressure on my hand left a moment while I picked out apples. It returned a moment later and I glanced at the basket, chuckling when I noticed three containers of blueberries lining the top. 

“You’re going to get sick of those eventually Cas.” He seemed appalled by my statement and a howl of laughter escaped me.

“That is not possible Dean.” He retorted and I continued laughing. I tossed the apples in the basket and we made our way through the check-out line. Since we had groceries, Cas zapped us back and I helped him unload everything into the kitchen. I rolled my sleeves up and made Cas wash his hands with me. I taught him how to blend the ingredients into the meat with his fingers, making sure they were evenly dispersed. We shaped them into patties and I tossed them in the heated skillet next to the frying bacon. I watched as Cas made the pie. All I did was cut up apples and push him in the right direction. He was a quick learner and I put the cheese on the burgers while he slipped the pie in the oven. I grabbed the barbecue sauce and ketchup from the fridge while he toasted the buns with butter. With the burgers piled high on our plates, we dug in. I moaned around the burger and Cas watched me closely. My eyebrow quirked as he cleared his throat. “I love you.” He spoke softly and a wide smile broke across my face. I put the burger down and wiped my hand off before reaching my fingers across the table. He tangled his fingers with mine.

“I love you too Angel. Everything okay?” I noted the tears welling in his eyes and took a shaky breath. He nodded quickly, wiping the tears with his other hand. 

“I am just overwhelmed. Relief and love, mostly. It is a lot to process.” He lifted my fingers, pressing his lips to them before releasing my hand entirely. He finally took a bite of his burger and a startling moan escaped his lips. The sincere response I had slipped my mind and laughter shook my core. “This is heavenly. Can we have these again tomorrow?” He mumbled through a full mouth. 

“Sure Angel.” I mused and we finished eating. Together we cleaned the dishes and set the pie on the counter. I didn’t think my stomach could handle anymore food in that moment and Cas agreed. We were lounging together on the couch, my body wrapped in his arms. “Angel?” My voice was a whisper as I eyed his beautiful wings arched behind his back. 

“Yes sweetheart?” He met my gaze as I pushed myself up to see his face. I took a deep breath, thinking over my words before speaking for once. 

“I would like to groom your wings. If you want.” Well, that was less romantic than I was hoping for. It would suffice for now. Cas startled, his body tensing as his wings folded tightly to his back. My eyes widened as he processed my words. 

“No one has groomed my wings since my mother passed away.” He spoke softly and I reached up, using my thumbs to wipe away the tears that escaped his lovely eyes. “I would be honored if you did Dean.” He nodded, pulling us both up. He stood and hurried to the bedroom, returning moments later with a blanket. He extended his hand and our fingers slotted together. I let him lead me outside and watched as he set the blanket out in the grass under the moonlight. The stars were breathtaking, the area lacking light pollution. He dropped onto the blanket and gestured for me to sit behind him. I watched as he fluffed his wings out, only glancing away to look at the bottle he placed next to my knee. “It is conditioner, but it works very well on feathers. At least, that is what Gabriel told me.” He spoke shyly and I kissed the space on his back between his wings. His whole body shuddered and he bit his lip. 

“Is there a certain way to do this? I don’t want to hurt you.” I studied the askew feathers and he shook his head. 

“You can straighten them with your fingers and pull the loose ones out. When they are straightened, run the conditioner through with your fingers. It is a very intimate thing for reapers to do and only the most trusted person in their life can groom them.” He spoke gently and I paused, hands above his feathers.  _ That’s you sweetheart.  _ His voice danced through my thoughts and I pushed my love, adoration, and gratefulness into his mind before pressing my fingers into the feathers. They were soft and smooth. I caressed them gently as a soft rumble escaped Cas. 

_ Are you purring?  _ I mused as I straightened every askew feather, gently tugging the loose ones from the wings. The rumbling only got louder the longer my fingers moved through the iridescence. 

_ Yes.  _ His response was simple, his mind lost in the bliss. He let the wall slip and his emotions settled in my thoughts. I shivered pleasantly, enjoying the soft noises he was making. I lifted my fingers for a moment to put a thin layer of conditioner on them. I ran the cream through his wings, the silky feathers glistening in the moonlight. When I was done, I lifted my hand and Cas turned to face me, his wings puffing out behind him. I was in awe, eyes perfectly round circles as I took his appearance in. I surged forward and captured Cas’s lips with my own, melting against his body. His wings circled me, pulling me in closer against him. He reached up, hands hesitating above my flannel and I smiled against his lips. In a swift motion, I pulled my flannel off and separated for a moment to yank the t-shirt off too. He placed his hands on my chest and locked his gaze with mine. There was a silent question lingering in the air and I nodded, an assuring smile on my face. 

  
_ Please Angel?  _ I poked at his mind gently and he pushed forward, slamming his lips against mine. We pulled each others clothes off and took a moment to really look at one another. Cas was an adonis, beautifully sculpted and all mine. He leaned forward, pushing me down until I was laying in a blanket of feathers. He had wrapped his wings entirely around us, cocooning us from the outside world. He opened me up easily and I was willing every step of the way, coming undone around his fingers. He soothed any pain and my body melted against his frame. He hesitated again and I broke down the wall between us completely, my emotions flooding into his thoughts. His entire body shook before he pressed his lips against mine, fighting for dominance with our tongues as he sank into me. It felt like coming home, like I was finally complete. Our moans were the only sound on the mountain that night. 


	20. Calm Before the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so so sorry! I had writers block for a while and then training started for work. Life has been very hectic and has been throwing curve balls at me for a bit. Nothing has been going right, but I finally finished this chapter! I plan to have two more (much longer) chapters and an epilogue. I promise to not take over a month to write a chapter again. Thank-you for sticking with me and I really hope you enjoy this chapter! 
> 
> Sidenote: This chapter starts off in Dean's perspective and then shifts to Castiel's perspective.

**April 11th**

**Dean**

* * *

 

“YOU MATED WITH HIM?”  A shrill voice woke me from my slumber. A yawn escaped me as I stretched my arms above my head. My eyes slowly blinked open to meet the bright sun.

“Yes, Gabriel...” Cas was hesitant, unsure of himself. He was on the defense, and I debated whether to push myself up or not. 

“ARE YOU FREAKIN’ INSANE? He’s unstable Cassie! You took advantage of him!” Frustration flared in my thoughts, overwhelming the happy and sated emotions that once lingered from my dreams of the night prior. I wiggled out from under the piles of blankets covering my exposed body. A fluttering noise that was entirely Cas touched my ears and the angel himself was suddenly beside me, shielding my exposed body with his wing. He slid me a pair of sweatpants, pressing his lips to my forehead before fixing a glare on Gabriel. Man, would I hate to be in Gabe’s position right now. I slid the pants on and his wing lifted once I was decent. Love overtook my thoughts, but I could still sense the anger and annoyance directed at Gabriel. The briefest touch of guilt danced in the background and it was all I could manage to focus on. 

“Gabe. Would you excuse us for a second?” I spoke up, narrowing my gaze at the elder reaper. His golden wings were still arched behind his back, spread to show dominance. Yeah, I wasn’t dealing with that today. 

“No Dean-o. I’m kind of busy right now. Maybe you could give us a second so I can rip my brother a new one? Unless you beat me to it last night.” His words had bite to them and that only fueled the fire in Cas’s mind even more. Gabe may be older, but Cas was pissed and super-charged. Enochian words slipped from his lips and he extended his hand, his life energy slipping down his wrist and enveloping Gabriel. “Damn it Ca-“ Like a bubble, Gabriel popped from the location. Cas’s life energy returned to him, the beautiful, warm light dissipating into his fingers. My eyes were locked on his hand and he turned to gaze at me.

“I can see it.” My whisper was hushed. He tensed, eyes wide. “I can see your life energy. Holy shit.” The profanity escaped me as I stared at his brightened features. Light danced behind his eyes and in his veins. His wings arched high behind him, the shades of blues and greens more prominent in his inky feathers. In his core, a beautiful light swirled. It was clear, with a hint of blue and it appeared crystalline. I wanted to touch it.

“We are mated. You are able to see my true form and my essence. I know it is broken.” Shame flooded in and he turned away slightly. My brow furrowed as I studied his essence. A few small cracks were etched on the surface, but it wasn’t until he turned that I saw it. My breath hitched as my eyes fell on the tendril of black twisted into his essence. From that tendril, cracks twisted their way up to the top of it.

“How’d that happen?” I placed my hand on his shoulder and his body immediately leaned into my caress.

“It is from my time in hell. I had to kill many souls to find Anna. It was carnage and my soul will never forget it.” He spoke softly, pain soaking his words. That guilt grew so much stronger and I nearly snapped. The anger-fueled fire quickly diminished though. His presence simmered my anger and that was an odd perk that I wasn’t expecting. Just being next to Cas seemed to calm my soul.

“Angel, that wasn’t your fault. Your essence, your soul. It is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. You are literally glowing in front of me right now and I’m sitting here, happier than I have ever been. I am completely in love with you. I can feel that guilt you have. I’m not weak. I’m not broken. I had just as much of a say in last night as you did and I don’t regret anything. Angel, I’m here and I’m with you for life. I was going to wait, but I need to do this now. I need you to take me home and call Anna. Please?” I cupped his cheek with my hand, guiding him forward until our foreheads touched. He met my gaze, entirely focused on my stare and my thoughts. 

“Okay, Love. I can do that.” He pressed his lips to my nose softly, a small smile gracing his lips. It was the private and fragile moments, like this, that shaped the bond we shared. It was that rose-petal smile that I knew was for me, and me alone that warmed my heart. He pulled away, extending his hand to entwine his fingers with mine. We maintained our gaze as his wings extended behind him. It was less disorienting now and in a blink, we were standing in my living room. A calm settled in my heart and I smiled. 

“Damn, I missed being here.” The whisper escaped me before I could filter it. He eyed me with that graceful, upward twitch of his lips. I turned away from my support to meet Anna’s cautious stare. Tears were welling in her beautiful, warm brown eyes. “Anna…” Her name escaped my lips in a whisper and she stepped forward. “I’m so sorry. I-“ She pushed herself forward, solidifying her body to embrace my frame. Her arms curled around my center and my arms reached over to envelope her. Her head was tucked under my chin and she clung tightly. 

“There is nothing to forgive.” She pressed her lips gently to my cheek before pulling back with a smile. “Welcome to the family.” She winked and stepped back to embrace Cas. A warm smile touched his lips and he met my gaze over her shoulder. I really owed Anna for her forgiveness and acceptance. 

_ She is very sincere Dean and you are deserving.  _ His reassurance brushed the edge of my mind and I gave him a small, grateful smile. They separated from their embrace and Anna met my gaze, her eyebrow quirked.  _ I believe the floor is yours, Love.  _ His words danced through my mind playfully and I took a deep breath. 

“Anna, would you be willing to take me to Avergon? I have some unfinished business that I need to take care of.” I tried my best to maintain clear thoughts. I didn’t want Cas having any hints as to what I was up to. Her brow furrowed in response to my request and Cas’s curiosity swelled in my head. He stepped forward, linking his hand with mine. 

“Where you go, I go.” He insisted, shoulders squared as he spoke. I smiled softly at him, reaching forward to cup his cheek. 

“I’m not going to do anything dangerous, Angel. I promise. It’ll be a quick trip. In and out in a blink. Plus, I happen to know someone who has been wanting to spend more time with you.” I held his gaze before pressing my lips to his cheek in a gentle peck. In that moment, the door unlatched and swung open. A head of blonde locks came bursting in. Jess beamed and threw her arms around me, squealing as she rocked us both back and forth. “Hey Jess.” I laughed, holding her tightly. She pulled away to meet my eyes before pulling me back in for another hug. 

“Gosh, I missed you both so much! It’s one thing to hear your voice over the phone, but to see that you’re okay in person? It’s so much better.” She swiftly kissed my cheek before pouncing on Cas. He eased into the hug as she rocked them animatedly. “And you, yah ball of feathers! Don’t be a stranger! I know you had a lot to handle these past few months, but it would have been nice to speak to you! We are friends, you know that right?” Her bubbly voice ran a mile a minute and while Cas tried to stumble over a greeting, my attention was pulled elsewhere. Sam stood in the doorway, his feet frozen to the welcome mat. His stare met my own and his face was twisted with a mix of emotions. 

“Dean?” He was cautious as he stepped forward, hand extended. 

“Heya Sammy.” It’s all I could manage before he lurched forward and yanked me to him, wrapping his giant arms around me tightly. Cas and Jess paused from their conversation to watch us carefully. I was squeezed tighter as my brother’s body shook. “I’m okay Sammy. I promise, I’m okay.” He met my stare and his gaze was searching. 

“You better be.” He huffed. “Jerk.” He added as he released me, a smirk on his face. 

“Bitch.” I nudged his shoulder with my fist before Jess was on me again. Once the reunion settled, Jess suggested grabbing lunch together. “You guys go ahead. I have something I have to do in Avergon, but I’ll meet you for dinner at the Roadhouse.” Sam tensed, as did Cas. 

“Dean, I’m coming with you.” Sammy spoke up, but Anna stepped up. 

“This is something Dean has to do alone. I will accompany him and act as his guide. I assure you, he will be safe. Plus, he has Cas in his mind. There’s no off-switch anymore now that they are mated.” She explained. Jess squealed, stepping forward to hug Cas and I again. Sam stood still with wide eyes. 

“You mated?”  His voice was hardly audible. He locked eyes with Cas and my angel nodded. “So, you’ll know right away if he is in trouble?” 

“Yes, Sam. Whatever Dean is feeling, I also feel. If he even gets a paper cut, I will feel it. We are tethered and I can be with him instantly if anything seems off.” Cas smiled gently again, eyes trained on me. Sam ran his hand down his face as he thought over what Cas said. 

“Fine, but if things go south, Cas is bringing me with him and I’m kicking your ass.” He concluded and a chuckle escaped me.

“Sure Sammy, whatever you say. You crazy kids have fun and I’ll see you at dinner time.” I turned to leave with Anna, but a warmth wrapped around me. My eyes were trained on the gentle aura of blue-white light surrounding my body. I was unable to move until a warm hand rested on my shoulder. 

“Be safe my love. I will see you soon.” Cas turned me slightly to press his lips against mine in a chaste kiss. He held our foreheads together for another moment. 

“I love you.” I returned his soft smile before the warmth dissipated. Anna’s fingers entwined with mine and the world shifted around us. A warm breeze caressed my face as the colors settled around us. Besides the sound of our breathing, the running river and soft chirps of cricket echoed in our ears. “Thank-you Anna. I will be back.” I assured her, but she grabbed my wrist. The leaves were rustling in the trees behind us and it wasn’t from the wind. She held her finger to her lips as she guided me to the edge of the river. A dark figure stumbled from the arbor. Dark green eyes studied both of us and Anna’s hand released my wrist in an instance. 

“Arrick! I’m so happy you are okay!” Anna stepped forward and embraced the figure. His arms returned her hug and he held the spirit close to him. There was definitely a story behind that. She gently pressed her lips to his cheek. 

“Only because of you. Anna, you can’t be that reckless again. If they had found you, Michael would not even be able to save you this time. Please, promise me.” He held her closer, whispering into her hair. She tucked her head under his chin. 

“I don’t make promises I can’t keep. I don’t regret saving you. Those demons were torturing you.”  Not that I wanted to interrupt their moment, but that pulled my attention. 

“Whoa, whoa. Demons?” I stepped forward and the pair separated. Arrick met my gaze and nodded. “I thought they were just chasing you guys from your homes? Why would they torture you? You already moved to the forest like they wanted.” Anna frowned slightly, glancing away as Arrick set his gaze on her. 

“Dean, I should’ve told you. While you and Castiel have been gone, a lot has happened. After Eve-” Her words trailed off. 

“After I carved her like a jack-o-lantern.” I huffed, glaring at the ground. 

“After what happened, the demons found her. They thought the nymphs did it. One of the demons told Michael that they haven’t been cooperating, so he ordered them to herd the nymphs and slaughter.” Her voice was shaky and Arrick took over. 

“I am a lunar nymph. I typically feed and migrate at night, but since we have migrated, I haven’t been able to feed. I watch over Cora and the others at night and they protect me during the day when I require rest. Since Cora is a river nymph, she cannot stray far from the water. The others, they are woodland nymphs. Their numbers are a lot higher than either of ours and we wish to protect them. I, along with two of my allies, were searching for a few river nymphs that were taken from the water.” 

“What happens when they move too far from the water?” I asked when he paused. 

“They dry up and cease to exist. I believe the feeling is similar to humans burning alive.” He stated, his voice flat. I nodded for him to continue. “I was compromised and the others fled. It is what I told them to do. Losing me is better than losing three fighters. I was carved and hung up in direct sunlight. My core, it cannot handle direct light and it nearly imploded.” He paused again to focus on Anna. “Anna came to visit, to update us on how you were doing. Cora had known something was off with you so she requested weekly updates. With me gone, Cora was distraught and she told Anna everything. So, this spitfire decided to find the woodland nymphs I worked with and forced them to take her to me. She brought Gabriel with her and he attacked. She snuck around and freed me, bringing me to a cavern to heal and rest before taking me to Celeste. A demon almost got her though.”

“But I was quicker and prepared. Castiel had given me his scimitars. Arrick is just upset because I scarred.” She lifted her top gently, revealing a deep red, jagged line running along the side of her abdomen. “Spirits heal quickly, but every wound obtained in Avergon is permanent. Dean, the nymphs need our help. It’s now or never. The war is happening whether we are ready or not.”

“We will help you. I promise, Arrick. There’s something I have to do tonight, but I can be back here tomorrow. Cas and I, we will do everything we can. I’m sure Gabe and Meg will help too.” I was done hiding. Cas’s home was turning into a battlefield. I couldn’t let that happen. 

“You wish to see Dahlia?” Arrick studied me and I nodded. Anna’s jaw went slack as she studied us. Arrick met her gaze. “What other purpose would Dean have for coming here without his mate?” He responded with a shrug of his shoulders. 

“Just follow the river. It will take you to her.” She spoke softly, stealing glances at Arrick. I took the hint and thanked them both before trekking off through the forest. I stuck close to the river, twirling my knife in my pocket. It was all I had for protection, but I didn’t plan on running into trouble today.

* * *

 

**Castiel**

Surprise and amusement. Concern and confusion. I followed the progression of Dean’s emotions. It was an odd train and I was left wondering what the cause of each pang was. 

“Cas?” A gentle voice pulled me from my thoughts. My eyes opened to see Jess’s concerned stare. She had insisted that the two of us sit in the back of the car, making Sam our chauffeur. I had no idea where we were going, but I trusted both of them. “Are you okay?” She leaned forward, her lips turned down slightly.

“Yes, I am fine. I am sorry, my thoughts were elsewhere. I find it very difficult to be away from Dean.” I frowned, pulling my gaze from her stare. I did not wish to see pity in her eyes. 

“You know Sam and I are here for you. We support you one hundred percent. I find it hard to be away from Sam too, especially when he is off doing something reckless. But, you have that emotional link with Dean. You’ll know if something goes wrong. Plus, he is with Anna and he said it wasn’t going to be a dangerous trip. Dean wouldn’t lie to you.” She scooted down the seat and pressed her lips to my cheek in a soft peck. I turned back towards her, a smile on my lips.

“Thank-you Jess. I do not know what I did to earn your friendship, but I am forever grateful for you.” The moment those words left my lips, she jumped forward and threw her arms around me. 

“I’m honored to call you a friend.” She smiled widely. “Come on. Last time I was here, they had a stand with the best honey.” She entwined her fingers and pulled me towards the mall. 

“Honey?” Jess did not have to say anymore to convince me. She danced forward, linking her hand with Sam’s as we weaved through the crowd towards the mall. It was a huge, concrete building with brightly colored advertisements hung up. People maneuvered in clusters, bags hanging on their wrists as they chatted amicably. Jess insisted on buying me sweaters in a variety of colors. I could not deny the comfort of the soft fabric embracing my skin. After hours of trying on the most ridiculous pieces of clothing Sam could find, we ended up in the center of the mall, seated on the edge of the fountain. The sweet aroma of honey and lilac danced around us. 

“Thanks for playing along Cas. Jess really missed you, we really missed you. I’m going to be honest, I wasn’t expecting to. But, what you did for Dean…” Sam’s words trailed off as he dropped down next to me. “I can’t ever repay you. Thank-you for taking care of my brother, when he needed it most. When I wasn’t able to.” He placed a hand on my shoulder. I turned to face him, my mouth full of honey and crackers. I chewed and swallowed harshly, attempting to empty my mouth before speaking. 

“You do not have to thank me Sam. I will always watch over Dean, just like I will watch over you and Jess. What happened in the past is just that, the past. We both have moved forward and learned a lot. You are my family.” I smiled kindly and a soft smile touched Sam’s lips. He squeezed my shoulder before sliding over to let Jess sit between us. She dropped her head on Sam’s shoulder, a satisfied smile on her face. 

_ Hey Angel. Can I steal you away?  _ A wide smile blossomed on my lips and Jess met my gaze.

“Did Dean get back?” My eyes narrowed in confusion and she giggled, Sam smirking as well. “When Dean talks to you with that connection you guys have, your whole body relaxes. You just look so happy. It’s really sweet.” She smiled, squeezing my hand. 

“Oh, well yes. He wants to know if he can steal me away.” A light blush worked its way up my neck. 

“Go. Don’t keep Dean waiting. He gets cranky.” She nudged me and Sam chuckled. 

_ Of course love. I will be there in a moment.  _ I pulsed my life energy through the bond, enveloping his thoughts in a soft warmth. “Thank-you both, for today. I had a wonderful time.” I reached for the bags and Sam swatted my hand.

“We will bring your stuff to the Roadhouse.” He assured me and I thanked them again before extending my wings behind me. I pulled myself towards Dean, landing gently in our kitchen. Dean stood, a pure smile on his face. He wore a fitted suit and bright blue fuzzy socks on his feet. Excitement, nerves, and adoration danced through my thoughts and I smiled. He placed a bouquet of sunflowers in a vase and stepped forward. 

“In this kitchen is where I realized I was screwed because I knew I was in love with you, a millennia old, powerful, supernatural being. I knew I was in over my head, but it didn’t matter. Nothing else mattered because I knew that you were it for me. I would spend my life by your side, in fuzzy socks, growing blueberries in our backyard, raising bees to have fresh honey everyday, eating peanut butter and jelly pancakes. Cas, I could never want anyone else. You’re my mate, my angel, and my best friend. I know we’re mated, but I wanted to do it the human way too. So, Castiel, would you become a Winchester and marry me?” He dropped onto one knee, opening a box to expose the ring to open air. 

“Yes, my love. I’d be honored to be a Winchester.” I smiled sweetly, my eyes crinkling as I connected our lips. I wrapped myself around him, my wings enveloping us. When he needed air, I pressed my forehead to his. He grabbed my hand, sliding the ring onto my finger with a small smile. It was smooth and made of the crystalline material my bracelet was made of. Iron was forged in the center and it glistened in the sunset. “Dean, how did you get this?” He was sheepish now.

“Anna got the materials for me and Jess’s dad is a jeweler. I had it made last summer…” His words trailed off as he scratched the back of his head. “... you know. Just in case.” I yanked him close again, linking our lips. 

“I love it. Thank-you Dean.” I smiled sweetly and he entwined our fingers, pulling me towards the backdoor. 

“I would like to show you something.” I nodded, following him to the backyard. A tall structure stood with walls made of glass. He opened the door and pulled me through. Sunflowers were swaying in the center from the slight breeze slipping through the open door. Blueberries grew in the far corner and various plants stretched along the edges. “It was supposed to be your Christmas gift, but I figured now would be a good time. The sunflowers came from your mom. They were an early wedding gift. I went to Avergon today to ask for her blessing.” He glanced away as I stared at the greenhouse in awe. 

“Dean…” Tears welled in my eyes as I cupped his cheek so he would meet my stare. “I love you.” I pulled him forward, wrapping him in my arms and wings. “Thank-you so much.” A few tears escaped, cascading down my cheeks. He gently brushed them away with his thumb and pressed his lips to my forehead. 

“I love you too.” His eyes caught the clock on the wall and he smiled. “Guess we should go face the music. I told everyone we had an announcement to make at the Roadhouse at five.” My head tilted and he chuckled. “Yeah, I kind of assumed you would say yes.” I chuckled, kissing his cheek.

“I would have been offended if you did not assume.” He laughed at that. “I want to put on different socks before we leave. I think there is a green pair in your drawer.” I pulled him inside and he laughed the whole way to the Roadhouse. 


End file.
